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I should be happy...

Hello. I am a 31 year old woman that is married to a wonderful man and together we have a blessing of a 5 year old son. Almost a year ago, I found out that I was pregnant and I couldn't handle it! My husband travels and would only come home once every 4 months and I became terrified at the thought of becoming a mom again. I became so depressed that at the end I ended up having an abortion. I struggled with that decision so much that I sought counseling from friends and families and even the pastor of the church that I attended. I was heart borken and I felt like such a failure to GOD, my family and of course myself. I suffered so much with that decision. All I could remember was how bad my post partum was with my son and I lost it!

Now, I find out that I am pregnant and I am feeling the same way as before. The positive thing is that my husband has stopped traveling and is now home for good. I am so scared of falling into a depression that I can't eat nor sleep. I continue to pray for help and I pray that GOD bless this child with health and happiness, and at the same time allow me to be a great mom. I've been told that I have done a great job with my son and I love him SO much. I'm afraid that I can't handle 2 children and that I may not be able to provide for this one what I have provided for my son.

I have to get over this hump to the day they say that it will get better.

Scared...

Vanessa

My beautfull baby

Well I don’t want to get in to too much detail but after reading other ladies stories I thought I would...

The love of my life left me for another woman knowing I might be pregnant...It hurt and I went through tremendous emotional pain for a week, but after going to work every day and finding out that I got the bank job I was hoping I would start to felt better...

But then this happened...I was supposed to get my period on the 17th, and being so caught up with work I wasn’t even worried about it...until I noticed my breasts exploded and were so sore and I kept leaving my job to run to the bathroom to pee...literally like every second...

Anyway, I was talking to me ex from a long time ago who is still me close friend...and knowing the whole situation between me and Jeremy he told him to make sure I take a pregnancy test...After thinking it over I thought "it won’t hurt no one, might as well know". When buying the preggo test I was so sure I wasn’t pregnant, but when I saw the "pregnant" pop up on the electrical test I bought I’m sure I looked like a deer stuck in the headlights because I couldn’t believe it, thus I bought four more pregnancy tests, which obviously all came back positive...

Anyway, after finding out I drove 1 ½ hours away to where the "love of my life" or so I thought, lives...and after waiting for him the whole day with his grandma preaching 2 me back to back "Jeremy cant take care of no baby, he a baby his self, I take care of Jeremy". What a sad excuse for a man he is, this 21 year old over grown baby.... Around 7:30 he came, I was already sitting in my car because I knew he was finally going to come and talk 2 me after his grandma spent the whole day on the phone begging him to come and talk 2 me and him calling me all types of names (wow what a surprise that was because after so long of being together and him being my best friend and all)...

He finally "agreed to come:"...so I’m sitting in my Celica crying and also falling asleep the whole time due to lack of sleep after working the night shift at my job.... I see him rolling up with his music blasting. His lil cousin gets out of the car, Jeremy sees me sitting there and he rolls away...I lost it then, coming out the car sobbing, asking his cousin what happened.... I don’t even curse but that day I was using so much "French" man oh man...Anyway, his cousin started hugging me telling me, the man I thought was a wonderful person said for me to go home and he doesn’t want to see me....

I went back inside the house telling his grandma that I waited the whole day and he just left knowing I was there...After ten hours of preaching again, like its my fault, she called him again telling him to come home immediately...So he came and I gave him the pregnancy test and started walking to the door, went out, started heading to my car in the rain....Then he came out...I looked in his eyes and for the first time he looked like he had no soul...he looked inhuman almost, and he certainly acted it.

He started pushing me (with our child inside me). I ran off and got in my car and left.... On the drive home after half an hour of sobbing I promised myself to be strong, that it wasn’t about him or the other woman any more, but it was about me and my baby...

The next few days were difficult but I made it, I was thinking whether I should get an abortion but I kept thinking about me and him making love how I was joking with him that I’m not getting up after he is done since I read on the net that when trying to conceive its best to lay in the same position...

I got a couple of phone messages up until yesterday he called at 1:30 am...sounding sad and emotional...saying in exact words " Janey um....this is Jeremy (pause) I’m tired of...now you know what I admit it I miss you...so ummm I sat down and talked 2 my grandma and please call me back Janey....please talk to me at least..."

He didn’t even say sorry or nothing, not that it would fix anything but still...I feel like he owes me that because I have done so much for him, ignoring all the remarks that I come from a good family background and he is criminal...

Anyway, that’s my story...Not really having to do with the other ladies talked about but I wanted to share it concluding the story with nothing is what it seems...So any women trying to conceive be careful...don’t end up like me, and I’m sure plenty of other women...Alone, lost, abandoned, with the baby you created when you loved a man and he apparently never loved you...


Janey

How can I tell?

I've been feeling very strange lately...I am currently enrolled in High School, 18, and a Senior...and I think I'm pregnant.

Although I am indeed happily married to a wonderful husband, we're not financially ready for a child. Though, I can't help but become giddy with the thought.

At school, while reading to the class, I felt as if I weren't really there. The words came out, but it was as if I were on another planet. I feel strange pinches below my stomach and I've had to change my panty liner every time I use the bathroom due to the constant slime that's present. I've read up on yeast infections and the not, but that's not what this is. It's not clumpy at all nor does it have color.

My breasts don't really hurt, and I've had no morning sickness...


Amanda

Never quite sure

6 months ago, I became pregnant. My boyfriend and I were just out of college and barely starting our careers. We made the decision to have an abortion--one that still haunts me. I know that I made the right decision then, but I can’t help but wonder if he sensed the gravity of the situation.

When I found out this week that I was pregnant, his response was a non-challant "Well, you should go take care of that." We may not have progressed much professionally since the first time, but I can't stop thinking about what the first abortion put me through.

I simultaneously love and don't want this baby and all I want is some support in making the right decision.


Amanda

Scared but Excited

Hi I’m 20, and I think about 2 weeks pregnant. I was in a long distance relationship, and I thought I was in love. He and I hadn't been intimate yet, until this last time he came to visit me. I started feeling nauseous pretty quick, my breasts are sore but haven’t grown yet. The last couple of days I have been bleeding some, and I’m pretty freaked out by that. But I’ve done a lot of reading online and I guess about 25-30 % of women experience that, so I’m trying to stay calm. I’m also completely exhausted, every time I get in a car I start to fall asleep.

About three days ago my boy friend broke up with me. We’re still talking but I’m having a really hard time talking to him, he has no idea yet. When he broke up with me he was a jerk, but he's since has said he's sorry and he's not walking away. I’m not sure what that means, but I do know I don't want to do this alone.

I’m really scared because my family is really religious, and I don't know how to tell them. I know they'll be supportive and take care of me, but they'll be so disappointed too.
At the same time I love kids, I don't remember a time when I didn't want a baby! And I’m going to love being a mom! I’ve already considered some names; I just hope all goes well.

So in spite of the challenges I really want this baby. I just hope the father feels the same way. But whatever he decides I think this baby is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Even with all the nasty symptoms I’m experiencing I’m looking forward to the whole thing.

Good luck to everyone!


Lynae