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long end of the road journey

Hi ladies i dont know who exactly im writing too or who will receive this but hey goes, im new to this site and thought it would be great to talk to women who are also going thru infertility and i mean a year and over well my journey was more like 7 years on and off but mostly on.

I am 24 years old and so is my husband ive been married for 2 years and together 5 years before marriage so a total of 7 years, i love him so much it hurts me but we have been trying to have a child from we were still un-wed and young but now were married and trying to do it the right way for 2 years now since its the right thing to do bye my faith. I am a christian. Well i am sad to say that after having pcos and damaged tubes so they say and lots of lil cysts and being told our only option is ivf clomid, metformin i tried them all and nothing ive just decided to kinda end my trying to concieve journey not for lack of hope and faith in GOD or not trusting in him or anything like that but because I just realized if its meant to be then itll be.im just tired out. my husband said he will change his life we both vowed to change our life style for the better and give our whole family back to GOD when he blesses us but not sure if my husband is serious he says he is but i dunno.i know h wanst one so bad

I guess i will just leave motherhood to those that were blessed to become parents thats just a decision ive come too. theres plenty of tikmes i thrown in the towel over anger but i feel fine with my soul a lil saddened a lil but fine because if GOD wanted me to have a child i would have one already so im just leaving it to him whether he wants me or us to have one or not but im throwing in the towel now. I have alot of irregular periods and i prayed the other day for god to stop the heavy constant bleeding and he has thank god. my soul is just a bit weary but i guess thats life this will be my first and last time writing but i will inform you all if in the near future i am pregnant.

its been hard seeing people who have been together less then us and pregnant, married less then us and pregnant some unto there third and some who had abortions some thinking of it some pregnant and father doesnt want the child ive expereineced it all and it hurts my soul but again i cannot do anything but be happy for them regardless the situation


God be with the rest of you and i will put you all in one big prayer to GOD so that you guys will get yor blessing but it wont happen or work if you dont put your all to god, trust him believe have faith and hope in him that he will see you thru take it one day at a time pray as much as you can he hears your hearts desire hes the key the only way out just let go and letgod.

God be with you all.

freddy

Hanging in there

hi ladies, Jada like me we are both the same age and so are our husbands ive been where you are and no wait still am where you are im kindve weary myself right now but i still have a lil bit of courage left to encourage you ladies. Just Pray is all i can say pray and trust in the lord have faith. This morning i took a pregnancy test and it came back negative i was kindve hoping i would have a success story but no it was negative even after all of the symtoms. I am very sad confused right now but im going to go down on my knees and pray to the heaveny father as soon as i come off of here. im just too weary i dont know how to feel really but i think god is giving me the strength because usually after a - test i bawl but maybe when im talking to god i will ill just brake down.


so ladies be encourage no matter whats going on be strong god will see us thru im sure im trying to stay so positive i just want me and my husband to be happy with our lil baby we go thru alot of rough days together but in the end we love each other i too feel like a failed women i think maybe some days i wasnt meant to have children and that maybe my husband should leave but i dunno all the ladies at church have kids and are pregnant with # two but i guess it isnt in gods will for us yet so. hang in there.

god bless

freddy

hopeful

Hello Everyone! My name is Nicole and I am a 28 yr old married and mother of a 1 1/2 yr old little girl. Soon after the birth of our daughter we came to the conclusion that we wanted to have our children close in age, so we started trying again last spring. For the three months I realized that I wasn't becoming pregnant so I went to my doctor and explained my concerns and he suggested clomid. I was taking clomid for two months before I became pregnant. We were so excited because we just new this was our "boy". A week later I was rushed to the hospital and it was determined that I had a ovarian cyst the size of an orange. That kind of pain was unbelievable, so naturally I thought I was miscarrying but I wasn't. So just as I am starting to feel relieved I got some more bad news. The doctord told me my beta numbers wern't doubling like it should in early pregnancy and did not see anything on the uterus at the stage in pregnancy I was supposed to be (6wks), So of course I was like what does that mean and he said its a possible ectopic. Well it was and I waited another week later to get a second opinion from my doctor who off course with my luck confirmed and rushed me back to the hospital where the next day I had surgery to remove my potential baby out of my right tube. Unfortunately my tube could not be saved because of hoe far along it had gotten. Of course I was upset so was my husband but we moved on. A few weeks later I go back to the doctor because my cycle hasn't started yet and wow pregnant again but with the same situation as the last. This time we caught it early enough for a shot to be taken to dissolve the prenancy. In Nov of last year my left ovarian cyst had not shrunk like anticipated and surgery was scheluled for the Dec. Of course going for pre-op blood work im pregnant again. So were excited and like this is meant to be. Everything was going well as far as blood and numbers which led the doctor to believe this was a normal pregnancy until about week 7. There was no heartbeat and my uterus was swollen. So again another failed pregnancy that ended at 10 weeks. Now at this point my doctor recommends in vitro. Me and my husband were apprehesive at first because we are regular working people with a small child and living in a middle income home so naturally the first thing we thought we cant afford this. So we went to a specialist who told us that there are programs that can help us. Although I am very nervous I am pleased to say I had just completed a cycle if ivf and praying to god this work because eventhough we are greatful to be parents this will be a huge dissapointment for me being a wife of a man with whom i love to death and who loves be but not being able to bear anymore of his children, especially that "boy".

Nicole

My Story

Hey. I stumbled upon this site and feel i can trust you ladies with my story because I need encouragement and hope. My name is Jada Nad i am 23 years old. I will be turning 24 in 2 months. I will be married 2 years in November but I have been with my husband for for 4. My husband is 24. I know what most of you are thinking. You are still so young. Yes I am but I have had a long hard road so far. At 13 I was diagnosed with endometreosis. I had my first surgery at 15. In total I had 4 surgeries just because of my female problem all before i got married. 4 months after we got married my father in law passes away. My husband wnated to wait to have kids but when he lost his father that changed. He wanted to have children as soon as we possibly could so that the rest of his family could see his children. I went to the doctor June 2006 for a check up. He said that i was helathy and gave me prenatal vitamins. He said the folic acid would help prepare my body. Well low and behold in less than a month my husband and I were pregnant. I was so happy and my husband was so excited. We decided not to say anything to anyone until i could get back to the doctor. One week later I miscarried. 7/27/2007 I was five weeks. We grieved and decided not to wait very long before trying again. We have been trying ever since with no luck. In January I went back to my doctor and he decided to put me on 50 mg of Clomid. He said that I was ovulationg but i was not ovulating at the same time every month. One month i would ovulate on day 11 and the next would be day 17 which can make it very difficult to get pregnant. I had to get some test done in May which showed that i have PCOS. I was devestated. My dr put me on Metformine 1000 mg. This medication is suppose to devert your ovaries from making cysts. However if you already have a cyst it does the opposite and helps it grow. July 3 2008 i had to have my 5 surgery to remove a golf ball sized cyst from my right ovary. Very PAINFUL!!! During the procedure my dr decided to take a look around, and out of all the bad came some good. After 10 years of batteling endo I was clear and after having all those surgeries very small amount of scar tissue. My dr also ran the dye through my tubes and there was no blockage or anything that he could find to cause my infertility. So hearing this I just knew it was my husband. He had his sperm count checked as of last week and everything came back fine. My husband is normal. Sad to say I was upset about it. I didnt want him to be steril or anything but it would have been easier to deal with if it was like a sperm mobility problem,

I blame myself. I feel like Im a failure. I feel like his family is so happy that its me and are praying for me to fail. I hate being compared to all these other people who have children. Its like im less of a woman or something. But I know that my infertility problem has made me more of a woman. Having to go through all this and still be willing to try over and over and over again shows that you are all heart and strength. Somedays i wake up and think that it will happen for me but others i feel like im being punished for something that ive done or not done. My husband is so supportive and I just want so bad to have his children. Its the greatest gift i could give to him to show how much i love him and appreciate all that hes done. I have not given up hope yet. I just pray that i have the strength to continue my journey because i want to be a mommy. God saying no right now just lets me know that he's got a greater yes waiting on me. I hope my story helps someone and if any of you has any advice of faith or hope to share please send it my way. LOTS AND LOTS OF BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jada

hope and dreams

Hi ladies im twenty five and we have been trying for a baby for five years.I have been pregnant five times, i lost all my babies and now i am recovering from surgery with my last.It was in my left tube, also i have a bent right tube they say and endrametrious also very bad, i try not to give up but its so so hard.Everyone seems to be having babies around me.I pray for everyone and hope god one day will bless usxxx

Lorna