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waiting

my husband and I have been trying for 13 months now. Testing of hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy and yesterday hsg. They were horrible and painful, but I kept saying this is for the baby. I too have my concerns with IVF and hope that we can get pregnant before that is recommended.
the two week wait each month is torture, just to get AF again. The dr. said that I will be at increased rate this month due to the HSG and that my tubes appeared normal. I will get full report tuesday....
so here I wait.....

Fibroids and infertility

In may I had a myomectomy done to remove a fibroid tumor the size of a grapefruit. I have been trying for over 3 years now to get pregnant, for the past 1 1/2 the fibroid has been affecting it. I went in for my first IUI Monday of this week, I am so nervous.

I don't want to think about it, because I don't want a let down. I just pray about it.

Reading some of these stories help me alot to know I am not the only one going through this. I will say a prayer for everyone who has submitted a story and I hope that someone out there will also pray for me.

Good Luck to me and everyone else.

hope

A dream slipping...

My husband and I have been trying for over 6 months to have our second child. It is the only thing I really desire in life and that would complete me. I think about getting pregnant constantly. Unfortunately, I just got some bad news from my doctor.

...turns out I'm perfectly fine- thyroid is fine, I'm ovulating but you know how it is and how women always blame themselves first. Well, there you have it- it's my husband and not me. Lab results are in and the doctor wants him to repeat his sperm analysis again due to low numbers. She didn't say how low (actually I spoke to the secretary) by I guess his sperm count isn't normal. I just pray it's due to the fact that he deposited the sperm at home and then had to drive across the city to deliver it to the lab (like he couldn't do it there!) and maybe some of the sperm died along the way or got cold or whatever. That could be the case, though I have a bad feeling that it's not. It would only make sense that it's him, if I'm ovulating and we're timing intercourse perfectly and still no baby after 6 months. So there it is. This information just lands on my lap today and what am I supposed to do with information like that? I'm grieving, part of me is, anyway cause although it's not impossible to get pregnant with a low sperm count- the chances aren't good and we're getting old. (I'm 32 and he's 35). I guess that's why it took us over a year to get pregnant with our daughter and now I look at her and think she's a total miracle. I'm so thankful for her knowing all this.



So what's the next step? Well, he'll have to get the semen analysis done again and if he does have a low sperm count, then I imagine my doctor will send us to a fertility specialist. Then there are two options,1- IUI or 2- Invitro. Option #2 is out of the question for me- it's against my morals and way too expensive. ( That's not to put anyone down who is trying invitro- good luck to all of you- it's just not an option for ME.) So we only have one option- option #1 IUI. I heard they recommend 3-6 sessions like this after which they want you to move on to something more aggressive like invitro. So I guess I'll try it for six months and then if it doesn't work then I am closing the door on the hopes of another baby. I mean we'll always have unprotected sex and be open to another baby, but I will not create opportunities and hope and pray and chart and time things- that is torture and frankly, I already can't take it. And what are the chances of IUI ? They're ok, not super. I read chances of getting pregnant are only 25% (that's with the fertility drugs). That's why inside, I'm still hoping my husband is normal. We'll see in a couple of weeks.



So now my future looks pretty dismal where the whole baby making situation is concerned. It doesn't look good. It is really depressing and I am trying not to blame my man or be resentful....at the same time, I feel a bit at peace because we may have found the problem and a plan of action. And if that doesn't work then I can say I've tried everything I'm willing to try and finally give up my dream and go on with my life- because right now, I am not living. I am either grieving or hoping and waiting and waiting for the future to start living- and that's not a good place to be.



So maybe I'm not experiencing a nervous breakdown, but definitely an emotional breakdown. I can't believe all this time I was blaming myself, typical.

Anyway, I am coping, somehow, but coping nonetheless. It's a lot to swallow, this pill that ends your dream and crushes all your hopes and a vision of your future, but I guess I'm not the first. And it could be worse I suppose, I could not have any children and that would just be devastating. But in my heart and soul, I am slowly letting go of some beautiful unborn baby of my dreams that will remain just that, a dream.....



Magda

hope

Clomid

I have been on clomid for two months now and waiting for AF on Mon. Crossing my fingers. I have had side effects this month that the doctors didn't tell us we may experience. The weirdest one was flashes of light.But just wanted to let all of you know if you receive a HCG shot to ovulate don't take a pregnancy test before the 14 day period. Luckily I didn't test postive but you can from the hormone but it would be a false postive.

There are so many things they don't tell you, sometimes I wonder if its all worth it. This month I have been depressed and sore breasts so I still have hope but its hard to hope so hard every month. Can't stand the question. Are you pregnant yet? Like its my choice not to be.

Thanks for listening.

kim

kim

At last

I meet my husband 6 years ago, 2 months after meeting we began to try for a child, each month we would try, I knew the best time to 'fall' pregnant was between day 12 to day 16. Nothing happened. After 2 years we began clomid for 6 months with natural timing, nothing happened, for 3 months we tried clomid with scans and a trigger shot at the clinic nothing happened.

Then we began IUI. This was 4 and a half years after we began trying. I injected myself each month, did scan after scan, found to have 5 follies and here in Ireland they will not let you go ahead with more then 2. So they removed 3 follies and destroyed them and we went ahead with the 2 follies. I tested on my due day, negative, I'd had enough, my husband had had enough, I was 34 and he was 46, we had looked into adoption alone the way.

Finally we agreed to perhaps try another IUI. I waited for my period to start the injecting once more. And I waited...I had one pregnancy test left and tested at work...and there it was, that beautiful beautiful blue line.

Our son is 5 months old now. The most precious gift ever, we tried IUI 3 months ago abut it failed and have just finished another IUI so am waiting on the 2 week wait. However, I am very very very happy with my little boy.

Katie