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Safe in the Arms of Jesus..

Hi my name is Vicky and my story is about my struggles with Pcos and infertility , my pregnancy achievement and the birth of our Baby Daughter.

I tell my story in hope to give hope and encouragement to those struglin with Infertility whatever that may be and Also to Warn those who are pregnant and those who will be giving birth. My main mission is to save more and more babies everyday and to prevent tragedies with our babies from happening due to negligence/malpractice..

I struggled with Pcos and infertility for 12 long years, we wanted a baby all those years and so we didn't prevent it ,but in the last 2 years was when we seeked help from an RE and thats when we started ttc with assistance. Becouse I have Pcos I was overweght (like most of women who suffer from Pcos) I was told that I need it to lose weight about 30lbs at least in order for them to start treating me for infertility, so they prescribe me metformin for insulin resistance to take permanently..I was determined to do what ever it took and I wasn't going to stop until I had a baby and I knew that 1 day I was going to have a baby..

Well I started a lowcarb diet and an excercise routine, so much that by the end of it all I was doing 13 hours of excercise a week. well 2 years went by and on a break from BCP I got pregnant on my own,but sadly mc a week after. it was said to be a blighted ovum. never the less I was devastated but at least I was reasured that I could get pregnant , and when I was done grieving I got even more eager to get pregnant

so after 2 years I went back to my RE to tell him what happen and to let him know I was ready to try, once I was at their office they were amazed and couldn't believe it was me, I had lost not only the 30lbs he asked me to but an additional 45lbs a total of 75lbs they called me the star patient and they started me on infertility meds right away..I was giving letrozole and hcg shot and I was being monitor the whole time , well that time I responded to the meds but did not get pregnant, so we tried the same meds with the addition of baby aspirin the 2nd time around and I finally got my BFP from that cycle.

I was put on progesterone suppositories bc I had ask for , and I continued taking metformin, and for the 1st trimester at least I couldn't eat carbs to keep my hormones from going crazy and causin a MC...At 20 weeks we were told we were having a Girl!!! what a joy just what we wanted , I even had her name picked up 12 years ago I guess I always knew I was going to have a girl bc I never even thought of boy names , I wanted her name to mean something so all 12 years my baby girls name was Destiny Desire bc she was the Destiny I so long desired...

Well I had the most perfect non complicated pregnancy ever , I didn't developed G Diabetes nor high blood preassure and the Baby was such a good baby so healthy and so active in there it was amazing, and I enjoyed every second of our baby gril in my belly and boy I took such a good care of her while she was in there that people were saying I was being obsessive , I didn't care all I care was the well being and safety of my Baby..

Finally the day had come we were going to have our baby, I remember waking up that morning and when I felt her move I finally took a deep breath and said to my DH "I can't believe we made it" I put my hand over my belly and told Destiny "Good morning Dessy and I went on to tell her how I couldn't wait to have her in my arms in a few hours to tell her face to face how much I love her and how much we have all been waiting for her" I than told her " I see you in a few hours my Baby Girl I love you" and she started to move so much that we film the belly just moving all directions.

We were induced Nov 14, 2007 and My Destiny Desire was Born Nov 15, 2007 weighing 7lbs 6.5oz and a whooping 23 inches and 1/2 she was perfect and beautiful a head full of shine , silky brown soft hair.......Sadly my Destiny passed away a couple of hours after her birth due to negligence/malpractice, I never got to see my baby alive and what hurt me even more is that she never got to see her mommys face , she never met Mommy.

The happiest day of my life turned into the last day I ever felt alive , it was the end of my life from that moment on, I died together with my baby that day..

Here is the negligence and I hope women who read this and are expecting takes this very seriously and I hope they prepare themselves for this things so they and my self included could save their babies from something like this...My babys heart rate very low at 5pm nov 14 so I told the nurse I wanted a c-section , she went and call the DR and she came back to told me that the Dr was at home but that she was monitoring us from her home and that even though the babys heart had dropped dangerously low it wasn't time for a c-section, so she refused to do it,

at that point I started crying I wanted my baby out and Dr wouldnt do it, the nurse assured me everything was going to be fine..Well hours went by babys heart rate had drop 3 more times and the 4th time it went too high and fast , still Dr wouldn't show her face or take the baby out..More time went on and I developed very high fever and also very high blood pressure and instead of doing the Darn c-section they started to give me medicine via IV and since it wasn't going down they kept on giving medicine.

do you know where all those meds were going? right it was also going to my baby if they would of done the c-section none of this would of happen and they didnt had to give me any of those meds that affected my baby so much..Well more time went on and by this time I was ready to push but there were still no signs of the DR anywhere the nurse was working with my pushing, as I was pushing I started to feel this really bad pain against my breast bone and I knew that was the baby way up high , so I told the nurse that the baby was not coming down bc I can feel her against my breast bone up high once again she didn't listen to me and I kept on pushing without success,so after 1 hours and 1/2 she calls in the DR.

"finally the Dr steps into play" well she had me push some more and I told her also that the baby was not coming down but she didn't listen AGAIN , after a while she said she started doing the vacuum she did it 5xs It didn't work baby was still high, so she said she was going to try forceps "I never like forceps" so I asked her if that was safe for the baby Her response was " I would never use anything that would potentially harm your baby"

ok so she did the forceps 5xs also and she did it so hard that she would drag me down with each pull and they had to pick me up and push me back on the bed everytime, well that didn't work either so I finally told her no more and this time she finally listen to me and agreed to a C-section.. Before I continue I would like to point something very important out, When we found a lawyer to take care of our case he told us that the limit of times to do the vacuum as well as the forceps was a maximum of 3xs. she did both of those 5xs each and also they saw by the markins on the babys head that the baby was not low enough for forceps and therefore she was pulling the babys head from the wrong angle of the head...

Ok so back to the story when the Dr told the nurses to get everything ready for a c-section and all The Dr started to walk out of the room and as she was leaving we heard the babys heart drop again very low so the DR stopped looked at the monitor but then kept on going out, the first thing they did was to remove the babys monitor and I figure that everything was going to go fast from there ,but once again it didn't ,

it took them 45 minutes to get everything ready and all of that time my baby was not being monitored. Well finally everything was ready I was in the OR my Dh was outside the room waiting for them to tell him to go in as he had the camera and all, well the last thing I heard was the Dr ask me If I could feel her poking my belly to see if it was numb and I told her I couldn't feel anything..Next thing I know I was waking up but numb everywhere I could hear , and see and think but I couldn't move my mouth to talk, so in my mind I was wondering why was I put to sleep I was suppose to be awake for the birth of my baby,

than I finally hear my Dh but he asked "wheres the baby" and the nurse said right there and he said "oh she is out" so right there I said to my self wait a minute why is Dh asking this questions wasn't he inside the whole time? then I hear him asking the Dr if I was going to be ok and they said yes and he left the room, so here I am waiting to hear my baby cry and witing for them to show me my Baby girl, but that never happen...

Once in my room and I was more awake the Dr comes in and says "we need to pray bc the baby is not breathing right" then a little later some other woman comes in and says to me that the Babys heart had stopped and they couldn't resuscitate her,(you can imagine what happened next when we heard that)..

Well the next day I hear from a friend of mine that was also there bc she had deliver her baby the day before me and her room was right across from the nursery, She told me that they went to her room desperately looking for machines that morning to put on my baby bc they didn't have any machines available for her. It gets worse. turns out that my baby had been born floppy bc of all the medicines they had put in my IV bc they refuse to do the c-section when I first asked , but still my baby was born alive but it turns out that when they took the baby to the nursery they left her all alone having breathing troubles to go and look for a machine to hook her up on it...

My Baby was a fighter she fought and survive the whole labor ordeal that was terrible and she also had survive from all those drugs that went threw her body, but my Baby was tired in distress and was left alone when she couldn't breathe and unfortunately she suffered brain damage from lock of oxygen from when they left her alone with out any assistance or help to breathe,

They killed my baby, they left her there to die , she fought and tried very hard to breathe but couldn't do it on her on , they gave up on her and never try to help her and of course when they finally found a machine and hooked her up on it her heart had stopped beating..My Baby did not want to live with the consequences of brain damage and God knew that she wasn't meant to live like that and so God call her to his side and jesus side..

I believe my baby is now Safe in the arms of Jesus....But I miss her dearly and I wish she was here with me right now...I am now ttc again but once again I am faced with infertility and sometimes I get so scare bc what about if I can never have another baby again? What about if I don't get another chance? what about if they didn't only took my babys life away but also my only child and my only chance to be a Mommy here on earth?

bc I am a Mommy already but I so wanted to be one with my baby here on earth with me..I'm not looking for a replacement but I really , really need another baby to fill in some of the emptiness I have in my heart and in my life, I know happiness will never be complete with out Destiny but at least it will be more bearable than it is now without her here...

So I want all women to please make sure that your Dr gets involved in your labor, Make sure that if you feel something is not right that they listen to you even if you have to scream and make sure they do something about it fast...Also make sure that even if you are low risk like I was that the hospital has an icu with enough beds just in case bc just bc your pregnancy was low risk doesnt mean that your baby wont have any issues when he/she is born like breathing issues and all,

And please make sure you take control of your labor and of your body Not the Nurses. It is your body, your baby so if you sense something is wrong, do something about it and dont take NO for an answer...What killed my baby was the lack of involvement, of attention, of monitoring, of actions, of speed and over all the lack of professionalism.. DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU AND YOUR BABY....And remember the limit for the vacuum and the forcep usage is only 3xs no more then that.

As for me I will continue to ttc until I have another baby I'm not going to stop until this happens for me again I'm going to fight for it the same way I fought for my Daughter and I'm never givin up , bc it is the most beautiful thing any women can go through, and is the most beautiful feeling in the world.....This is in honor and memory of our Destiny Desire who is now Safe in the Arms of Jesus but some day will be in my arms again for eternity, until then she will always be in my heart, mind,and soul....

And for those of you strugglin with infertility don't give up , fight for what you want. It will happen to you, Where theres a will there is a way and if there is enough love and effort it will happen...Good luck to all and God Bless....
SOME PEOPLE JUST DREAM OF ANGELS I HELD ONE IN MY ARMS....

LOVE DESTINYS MOMMY..

Vicky

2 losses in 4 months

I lost my first baby due to a blighted ovum at 6 weeks. I had a D&E and got pregnant 2 months later.

I was 8 weeks pregnant when we went to the E.R. due to bleeding Turns out I just had a slight tear in my cervix. We went to the Dr. the next day, and we heard that beautiful sound that we all dream off, that strong heartbeat. That eased our pain and dried our tears.

Well as time passed, I kept bleeding and everyone assured me that everything was fine, but this time I felt like something bad was happening to me. On tuesday I was bleeding a lot more and I was also passing small clots that were gradually getting bigger. I called my Dr. and he said to come in first thing tomorrow morning.

When we got there he was very optimistic. But when we saw the picture of our baby, there was no movement nor was there that flicker of the heartbeat. This was a shock to all of us. When I looked at my Dr. He turned to me with tear-filled eyes and said "I am so sorry." The baby only measured 8 weeks and it should have measured 11 weeks.

We scheduled a D&E for the next morning. When we got home I noticed that I was cramping so much more than before. I was really afraid that this would happen at home so we decided to go through with this procedure asap. We went to the hospital around 11:30. I answered many questions and got poked with an I.V. When I was in the operating room waiting for all the nurses so many things were going through my head. The next thing I knew I felt someone hold my hand and when I looked up it was my Dr. The nurse said they were going to make me fall asleep. I then felt a warm tingling sensation going up my arm and then to my neck. The next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery. The surgery went great (given the circumstances).

The next plan is to have the specialists test my blood. They also sent the placenta and the fetus to the UNMC. We should know in a few weeks what is going on with me. We are just praying that it is something that can be fixed. Jason and I want to be parents more than anything. And we are waiting patiently for God to answer our prayers.

God Bless you all

ashlee

loss

i got married later in life. i married my husband in december 2006. we were both 33. in june 2007 i concieved our first child everything was goin great until we went for our first scan i was told that my baby was dead. i had felt nothing at all not even a twinge.

they told me i needed a d&c but they couldnt do it until two days later so i went home with my dad baby still inside me. my husband is a quite emotional man and was very cut up over it.

we went back two days later and had a d&c, we decided that we didnt want to see the baby or know the sex.

in nov 2007 i was shocked to discover that i was pregnant again i decided that i wouldnt tell anyone as i did the first time. i went for my first scan last week and everyting is going ok this time so far so good. im 17weeks and 4 days. we are so excited.

the reason im writing this is because today i was on my way to work when i lost conrtrol of my car and crashed into a hedge i went straight through the hedge and got stck in the car i was starting to panic. i rang my brother who had to get me out through the sunroof it was terrifying.

today i came close to losing my baby again and i couldnt bebar it.
please god i will carry this baby to term

jane

Pregnant at 13

When i was 12 i started going out with this guy and he was 13. Its hard to believe but we were in love even though we were so young.

When i was 13 i fell pregnant which wasn't surprising since we never used protection. He broke up with me a week after i fell pregnant and i was devastated and somehow i knew i was pregnant at 1 week.

i continued to beleive i was and then i missed a period and it was all too much for me so i tried to ignore it. i was still desperately in love with the father and i had to see him everyday at school. i eventually told him and he acted as though he didn't care (maybe he didn't beleive me?). i remember feeling so alone and all i had was this baby.

I did a test at about 10 weeks and then i knew i couldn't ignore it. i remember getting up before everyone else so that i could throw up without anyone else knowing and belly was getting bigger and my boobs were to and my mum was even commenting. i eventually had to tell my mum. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to do.

She ran up to me in shock and hugged me then she went into a panic and asked how far along i was cause she knew we hadn't been together for months. SHe called the doctors then she cancelled that apointment then she called the abortion place. That was it, i had no choice in the decision. i had to get an abortion.

i hadn't really thought much about what i was going to do with the baby but i just assumed i would definitely be having it so i was really close to the baby. the abortion was in 2 days time so i cried like ive never cried for the whole day leading up to it.

my mum calmed down and we talked about it heaps (it must have been really hard for her) and she said to me "it's ok to have an abortion because the little soul inside inside you Knows you are too young and it will wait until you are ready.

So we went to the abortion place and i got an ultrasound and i saw my baby on the screen and i had to fight back the tears. I was told i was about 18 weeks pregnant but she made it look younger on the screen so that it was allowed to be aborted. i never found out what sex it was but i felt it was a boy.

I then had to go into a counseling room and they asked me are you sure you want to do this and i looked at my mum and she was mouthing the words yes please, so i said yes even though i realy didn't want to. then i had to lay on the table while the doctor held my arm and i screemed at them and begged my mum not to let them and i was crying and i remember them putting the needle in my arm and i thought , oh no its over there is nothing i can do now, as i fell asleep.

i woke up still crying. it was all pretty much forgotten about straight away. i shut of to the pain of it and rebelled badly as i got older. i am now 19 and i have a 2 year old son (i had him when i was 16, a much happier story).

i have always regretted having the abortion but after being a mum for 2 years now, i can see i wouldn't have been able to do it at the very young age of 13.

Elle

Recurrent Miscarriages

I am wondering if there is anybody else out there who has had a simillar problem such as mine?

We recently just experienced our 5th miscarriage. I saw a specialist after the 3rd, they all seem to end at about 8 1/2 weeks. Each one with a strong heartbeat that disapears. I have tested positive for both MTHFR genes. I also have lupus anticoagulant (autoimmune disorder). To treat these the dr. put me on a baby asprin daily and heparin injections.

The 4th pregnancy ended much differently than the others, it never developed properly leading them to believe it was simply chromosonal and not a good pregnancy. More than likely they said it was not related to my blood clotting disorders.

The 5th one was going very well, strong heartbeat at 5 weeks 5 days, then checked at 7 weeks 4 days and yesterday at 9 weeks no heartbeat. It was measuring 9 weeks and 1 or 2 days so the heart just stopped. I will have a d&c on Thursday.

They first were telling me that it seems most likely that the autoimmune disorder is why I am miscarrying but now I am wondering if the MTHFR is more of a contributing factor? Any advice from anyone who has a simillar situation.
Thank you.

Stephanie