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My 1st Lost

Well IM 19 years my name is Jennifer and I work for wells fargo I had my miscarriage about 8 months ago Dec 9th , (my birthdate) it was pretty tuff it was my first pregnancy and i was about 12 weeks pregnant almost 3 month My fiance and i had about the worst time and feeling just like anyone who goes through that and now 8 months later we still find it hard to talk about it has been even more tough now that we have been trying and no luck yet I've tried to set a appoint with my health provider but they say we have to wait a year its really tough when couples go through this time and i really do appreciate and tips or feedback thats my story thank you

Jennifer

lost and cant get over it.

hi i was 12 weeks pregnant when i had a misscarrage and on the same day i miscarraged my boyfriends sister gave birth to a baby boy. i just cant get over my lost ,people think im ok but deep down im not. my baby was due on the 21 of december 08 and every night i dream of what it would be like to be a mum. my boyfriend doesnt talk about it and it hearts because i dont think he his botherd that much. he as all ready got 2 kid with some one ells. i thought i was geting over it but in not. haveing a miscarrage just makes me wont a baby more. i just wish i new why it happend but i will never know.x

catherine

My baby boy

I was 37 weeks pregnant and it was a wednesday i woke up and new something was wrong. he hadnt moved much threw the night and he usually didnt stop. I said to my boyfreind before he left for work that something was wrong but thought hed wake up soon enough by the time lunch time came he still hadnt moved and i knew he was gone. i went to the hospital and they confirmed what i already knew, my baby boy had died. i was so shocked my pregnancy had been perfect and now all of a sudden he was dead. My baby boy Sebastian was born on the 17 april 08 and he was abosolutly gorgeous. I will think about him every day for the rest of my life.
rachael

rachael

My Heartbreak at 18

On the 30th of June 2008 I woke up at 5:30 am for pt. I started bleeding right after I awoke and thought nothing of it "maybe it's just my period" was my first thought. Well at about 7:45 am when I returned the cramping began. The cramps were so bad that I almost passed out. My Fiance took me to the ER. The ER sent me to the OB/GYN clinic on the second floor where I sat form 9:30 am until 1 pm. At that time i was then escorted back down to the ER by the supervisor of the clinic. I then met with a doctor who told me that I was in fact 8 weeks pregnant. He left the room to get the results of my blood test. Not even a half hour later did he return to tell me that I did have a miscarriage, that my body had actually aborted my child. Well at the age of 18 I was told a miscarriage is somewhat common and that it didn't mean that I couldn't have children in the future, just that this wasn't my time to be a mother.

AliSandra Huertas

My Two Guardian Angels

I became pregnant after 9 months of dating my boyfriend. We were both nervous and scared but knew we wanted to continue the pregnancy. Everything went well until my 19 week. It was one morning I woke up not feeling well. I thought it was from not sleeping well the night before. I went to the bathroom and noticed a small red stain. I called the doctor and he advised me to stay home from work and rest. That night I developed a fever and cramping. As I was lying down on my bed my water broke, I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. Everything was going so well, what happened? I called my boyfriend and told him to meet me in the hospital. What was supposed to have been an hour and ½ drive for him, only took him less than an hour to get there. Once I reached the hospital I started hemorrhaging. At that moment I knew the baby will not survive. I was in a state of shock through all of this. I couldn’t comprehend anything the doctors were saying to me. They told us the baby has a fatal heartbeat and it will not live. My boyfriend and I cried the entire time. Later that night I was induced. I was in labor for 9 hours and delivered a baby boy, we named him Jeffrey Vincent. At first I was scared to see our son but then my boyfriend said he looks exactly like me and at that moment I wanted to see him. I was shocked to see how developed he was and how much he looked like me. He had my nose, my lips and my fingers.
I was in pain not to see him alive. I wanted to take him home, keep him close to me.
Not knowing how to deal with the baby’s lost I tried to put everything behind me and move on. Well, this led into a depression. In the mist of all of this I moved from the city to the suburbs to be with my boyfriend, which led me into a deeper depression. I was away from my family and friends. I needed stability in my life and I didn’t have it. I was scared, lost and had no one to talk to, I was so alone. I spent months crying. All I wanted was to escape, to disappear from the world. Not knowing how to handle the lost of my baby. I spend that year depressed and sad. With the help of my therapist I learned to talk about what had happened, talk about my baby and face my fears. It took a toll in our relationship but my boyfriend never gave up. He was very supportive through this ordeal. The following year my boyfriend and I married. We waited 9 months to get pregnant again. Now I am married and in the process of buying home. I finally feel I am in a good place in my life to start a family.
My pregnancy once again was going well until I reached my 17 week. I was at work in the bathroom when my water broke. I couldn’t believe it. All along I was naïve to think something like this couldn’t happen to me again. Well, it did. We rushed to the hospital where they did a sonogram and told us there are no fluids and there is a 5 % chance for the baby to live. It was a nightmare. I am re-living everything all over again. I spent the next 3 days in the hospital in the hope I would regain fluids but didn’t. The doctor told us we can terminate the pregnancy or wait a few more days to see if I can recoup some fluids. My husband and I decided to wait and see. My heart was aching. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing another child. I was angry, angry at God to let this happened again .
Later that week we saw doctors and specialists to figure out why this happened. It was an exhausting and draining week. After seeing the specialist he told us we would have to end the pregnancy as soon as possible because it could endanger my life. That day I went to the hospital to be induced. Once again why me? I failed at the only gift I could give to my husband, a child. I was in labor for 10 hours and deliverd another baby boy. We named him Jared Jason. He looked exactly like his father.
My life will never be the same. I walk around with an emptiness that could never be filled. The pain and the hurt will never go away.
I now have two boys watching over us. I miss them and wish they were here with mommy and daddy.

joanne, Nesconset, NY