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loss of my baby

just found this site and find it is helping as i do feel as people have seemed to brush my miscarriage away.

i miscarried my baby 5 days ago and i feel as if no one understands why im hurtin so much and why my body is aching for my baby. Being told so many times that it wasnt meant to be has brought no comfort but instead made me more angry -- to me thats what you say when you dont get a job you wanted not when you lose a baby.

Ive been tryin for years and cant understand why i had to wait for so long and for it to be taken away so quickly. Would anyone know the best time to fall pregnanat afterwards?

for everyone whos been through this pain i wish u all luck for future pregnancy . i take comfort in the knowledge that my baby is with the angels and is with me every day.

i love u my darling x x x

michelle

Didnt find out untill my 10th week

My husband and i just got married in November 07 when we found out that i was pregnant but had been engaged since April 07. We dated all through out my highschool and have been together for almost 5 years now. We never exactly tried to concieve but being young and wild like we were we never cared to use protection or any other type of method of prevention.

When we found out that we were pregnant it was so amazing because we always had out doubts. After 5 years and a lot of times that it could very well have happened it finally did. We were so excited and of course it was all we talked about and we were the over cautious preggo couple. When we found out i was 6 wks and counting up for that 3 month relieval.

I was in the beginning of my 10th week and had 1 week left before my first ultra sound when i started spotting. It was very light and i hadnt had any cramps or pains. I was hoping that it was just "old blood" as the doctors say. But of course wanting to make sure i called the doc and made an appointment for the following day. When he did the ultrasound he saw no fluttering or any sign of a heartbeat.

We were crushed but still in hopes that it was just too early to see yet, and that maybe we mixed up our dates. He said the fetus only measured to be 6 wks. But He drew some blood and wanted to see if my hormone levels were rising or falling. But before we could even see those results on Christmas Eve i began to bleed very heavily. I spent the entire night in the hospital with terrible pain, it was the worst pain physically and emotionally i have ever experienced. All along i had been watching my belly getting bigger and bigger and daddy kissed his baby every night but when we found out, my pregnancy had already failed.

In the 4 weeks that we knew i was bleeding internally causing my too swell. I passed it on my own and afterwords my belly went back to normal. Its been almost 3 wks since i stopped bleeding and there has been more than a few times where we havent used protection. I heard of a lot of people becoming pregnant right after a misscarriage and im hoping that i am and that it will be a success.

That is my story and as hard as it is to go through theres always a good reason for something like that and that is the only way you can look at it. Its noones fault.

Candace Bowman

A mother's loss

My husband and I have been trying for years to achieve our pregnancy. We had medical intervention to help us along the way, yes we finally had achieved our pregnancy. I protect our little one with all my love, my heart and made sure i didn't put us in any danger, so by doing this I always did a risk assessment at work, home etc.

Nineteen weeks and three days to twenty weeks I developed bleeding, abdominal pains and shivers. Both our obs were stable within that time. Having been seen by three doctors, no one was able to diagnose me, admit me into hospital for monitoring, think of doing an emergency detailed ultrasound scan to see where I was bleeding from.

Basically there was no compassion with the medical profession, the people we most trust when our health is in danger and as a result we lost our beloved baby.

When my baby died, a part of me died too, my heart is broken but God is keeping me strong because my little angel is flying high so high in the sky.

Butterfly

We Can't Find A Heartbeat.......

It was my first pregnancy and to say the least, we were both very excited about it. I'd spend my days reading up on what to expect and imagining that little boy or girl of mine. The names were already picked out as I made my way for the routine 12 week prenatal visit. This was the big day...I was going to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time.

After a few minutes of trying to unsuccessfully find it on the Dopler, my Doc. sent me to get an ultrasound. Laying on the table, I saw that recognizable image of my baby on the screen. Wow, there it was...see, there's my baby!

However, that moment of elation quickly passed as the tech showed me that were no signs of a heartbeat on the monitor. She informed me that the baby died at 11 weeks and my body hadn't expelled it yet. What followed next was grief and inconsollable crying.

We scheduled a D&C for two days later and faced the insurmountable task of telling everyone the bad news. Most everyone offered a little comfort with their condolences, except for his mother........"Well, it just wasn't meant to be", not exactly the most loving way to put it.

The emotions that follow a miscarriage are never completely understood by those who have been fortunate enough to make it through a pregnancy without one.

Trina

Ophelia

Ophelia
12.04 am, 22nd January 2007.

Today should have been your 1st birthday.
A year of first smiles, first footsteps, first words.
It was cruel that we had such little time together,
but I can still say that holding you, tiny and beautiful and struggling, in my arms
let me experience a love that people would freely die for.
Rest in peace my sweet, sweet darling.

Rose