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Just as I'd begun to stop worrying

The day after we got a positive pregnancy test, I left on a business trip and upon a bumpy landing immediately experienced heavy spotting. Panicked I went to the local Wal-Mart and got another pack of pregnancy tests all which showed I was still pregnant.

I was out of town for a week and called into the doctor who asked me to continue to monitor the bleeding and come in immediately when I returned. During my appointment, my husband and I were so elated to see the baby and hear the heartbeat.

However, the explained bleeding continued each week and each week I had an ultrasound which showed the baby growing right on track.

Around 15 weeks I experienced a huge flooding gush at a restaurant - raced to the emergency room to find that baby was still there dancing away. They finally saw a huge clot and said maybe it was bleeding out.

I continued to bleed and each week baby's growth was confirmed and we learned it was a little girl we named Sara Evelyn.

At exactly eighteen weeks I was lying in bed and experienced a sharp pain. I relaxed until the pain subsided. When I stood up a huge gush of brown watery liquid flooded down my legs. By the time we called the hospital, I had another gush. When we went to the emergency they found my membranes had ruptured and there was no fluid around the baby though her heart beat strongly.

The doctors frightened us with talk of infected uterus, lost fertility and eventual death of our baby due to no lung or muscle development. We consented to induce labor, which she did not survive.

They say the blood clot disintegrated the membranes and was probably due to a defect in the placenta.

Now two weeks later we're looking forward to trying again but anxious to do everything we can, not to let this happen again. But it seems so out of our control. I'm afraid the doctors will just tell us to try again and not run any tests since we only had one miscarriage. I don't want to risk another baby's life on chance.

We will stay in prayer. It's in His hands ultimately.

Thanks for reading about our experience.


Shawn

miscarriage at 91/2 weeks

I’m 15 and suffered a miscarriage 3 weeks ago. Me and my boyfriend had been together for 7 months and were going really well. It was my first proper relationship.

We didn’t plan to get pregnant but it happened. We were really scared and didn’t no what to do or how we were going to cope. I was scared about telling my parents but they understood and said it was up to me and my boyfriend. We spoke about it and decided to keep it.

Everything was fine. Then one morning I woke up having cramps; then when I stood up blood went everywhere. I was so scared didn’t no what to do. We went to the hospital and they did an u/s and there was nothing.

Its been 3 weeks and I'm still finding it hard to get over.


charlie

Pregnancy right after miscarriage?

Well although I wasn't preventing pregnancy I wasn't planning it. I thought if it happens then it happens, and Wow!.. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Suddenly after my Feb/07 AF I was experiencing symptoms- fatigue, swollen/sore breasts, moodiness, bloating... I thought for sure I was and proof positive on Mar/5/07.

I was really surprised to see a "PREGNANT" reading on the CBE digital test, although I had strongly expected it to say so. The exact next day I noticed that I was spotting, so I thought it was odd, and knew it was normal since that was the day of my expected period anyways. A few hours later after I was cramping really bad I noticed that the blood flow had increased verrry significantly.

I was panicked and rushed to the ER. Having a m/c was the furthest thing from my mind since I am relatively healthy, and never really considered the possibility. After that my period was full on for about 6 days. Once again shortly after my period I am noticing the exact same symptoms= mainly my swollen/sore breasts.

I haven't yet fully recovered from my fatigue since the m/c so I don’t know if it is a recurring symptom or if it just never went away at all. I am not trying to get my hopes up in fear of another heartbreaking m/c. I couldn't handle being put thru that again.

Thank you for listening!



Chelsea Lyn

Hope after loss

I have just found out that I am pregnant again! It's all I've dreamt of since I lost my baby at 15 wks last summer. At 11 wks I was just settling into my pregnancy when I felt a gush and when I checked it was brown blood. The shock sent me to the doc's.

I had a scan a few days later and the baby was fine and there was no explanation for the brown spotting that was still happening. The next four weeks were a worry with bleeding on and off and then one night the blood began to flow very heavily and I had to go to the A&E.

The next morning a scan showed the baby still ok but there were two blood clots on either side of the placenta, so I was told to take it easy and that I would be given weekly scans to monitor the situation. I couldn't believe the baby was still alive! A couple of days later I started to get cramps that I thought were a water infection.

I waited all weekend and called into the antenatal on the Monday morning as I still was having the cramps. They scanned me again and the baby had no heartbeat. I was so shocked and couldn't believe it was all over. The whole stage of events is soul destroying. I then had to walk through the antenatal clinic past all the other mothers to be and onto the ward. With the help of inducing drugs I finally miscarried on Thursday 28th July.

After my hormones settled down I could only think about getting pregnant but month after month nothing. After 8 months of trying I find myself pregnant again which is what I wanted, but now I'm so worried and anxious that the same thing will happen again; and what if it happens later in the pregnancy?

I know fate has a lot to do with it and I'll get through whatever, but it's when you don't really know why these things happen it's hard to move on and know that this time will be better!

It's good to know I'm not alone and I am so sorry for all of your losses. We live in hope!


Trina

Tiny Eva, my Angel Baby

My husband and I have two beautiful children already, a boy and a girl. In October of 2006, we learned that we were pregnant, about 6 weeks. We were a bit freaked out at first, because we only planned for two. We were protected this time around. I'm more freaked out, because it means another c-section.

A week passes, and I'm getting not just used to the idea of another baby, but excited. We start planning how to rework the budget, when to buy the few baby things we need, etc. At my 10-week appointment, all seems well, we can't hear the heartbeat with the little in-office Doppler, but that's normal for 10 weeks. We wait.

At 14 weeks, we still can't hear the heartbeat via Doppler, but my doctor says it's fairly normal still, as I have a little big of pudge on my tummy where he's using the Doppler. Come back in two weeks. At 16 weeks, we hear the heartbeat, 142 beats-per-minute, strong and wonderful. He sets up my appointment for my ultrasound, at 21 weeks, and my next appointment for the day before the ultrasound.

At 21 weeks, I go for my check up, and once again we can't find the heartbeat with the Doppler. He tells me not to worry, and calls over to the hospital to move my ultrasound up to that same day. We go over to the hospital for the ultrasound. I have an inkling that it's a girl, have had for about 2 weeks. I lie on the table and the tech moves the wand around on my stomach, not talking. He doesn't turn on the sound, nor does he turn the monitor to face me. My worries increase about tenfold.

He finally looks up at me and says, "I'm sorry, I'm finding no heartbeat, no movement". He calls my nurse and notifies her, and I'm sent back to my doctor’s office. My doctor hugs me and apologizes over and over, while the tears course down my face. He seems almost as devastated as I am; he delivered both my son and daughter. We agree that I'll go into the hospital 2 hours from then and be induced.

I was induced at 6 pm on January 8, 2007, and around noon on January 9th, Eva was out. She was 6 inches, crown-to-rump, and weighed 1.6 ounces. She was perfectly formed; fingers and toes, facial features, ears, even her little girl parts...she was just so tiny. She was termed a stillbirth.

Two weeks later we got the results of all the tests ordered done on her. She stopped growing about 15 weeks, but continued developing. Her heart finally stopped at right about 20 weeks, it had gotten too large for her tiny chest. They could not find any genetic, chromosomal, or other reason this happened. I did everything I was supposed to, and nothing I wasn't.

We fully intend to try again, when the pain from losing Eva isn't quite so new. I'm just so afraid to tell anyone about being pregnant in the future, I don't want to have to break the tragic news to everyone I know all over again.


Cameo