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Confused

When my husband and I first found out I was pregnant we were surprised but very happy. I had only been off the pill for a month when we found out. Of course we told all our freinds and family and my sister who was pregnant herself. Though our happiness was short lived. A week later I started bleeding. I went to the doctor and went through what felt like a million blood tests only to find out that I had miscarried. The hardest part was telling my family. My mother was the only one who truly knew what was going on because she herself had been through a miscarriage. After our grieving we tried again. I immediately got pregnant again, but this one was just as short lived. I am now again pregnant and approaching the time I miscarried the first two and I am so scared. Is is natural to tell myself not to get attached just incase? I am trying to stay positive and keep my hopes alive for the life inside of me that will hopefully grow big and strong.

Erin

Sad

18 weeks pregnant. One day I started to feel a bit crampy, so I relaxed the whole day. The next morning I started to bleed...very light. I called my Dr to let him know. He said to monitor the bleeding, if in an hour the bleeding fills a pad or becomes heavier then I would have to come in. In two hours, my cramps got worse and the bleeding began to get heavier. I went in and I decided to have the miscarriage naturally. My d&c was placed the next day after the miscarriage. I'm so upset and feel alone. Trying again makes me scared. Me and my boyfriend are trying to pull through.

jaime

4th Pregnancy

I already have 2 healthy little boys, aged 5 and 2, and in Jan 2007 I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd baby, things quickly turned ugly, I was constantly sick, I could barely get out of bed to get my 5 yo to school most mornings, I was sleeping constantly, I couldn't even drink water without being sick. I had a blood test, which showed my blood sugar was dangerously low; I suffer from hypoglycemia already so to have got this news was so hard to deal with. I have no family support around me for my 2 boys, and my ex was no help to me and my new partner who I had been with less then 2 months had no idea how to cope with what I was going through. The doctor gave me a choice, I could be hospitalized every few days so they could drip feed me, or I could terminate my pregnancy. I chose the termination because I needed to be here for my little boys. I felt so guilty.

Over the next few months I started to regain my emotional strength, and after long talks with my now fiancé, we decided to try for another baby, he was scared and not sure what to expect, but I fell pregnant nonetheless. I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago.

About a week after I found out I was having mild cramping, I thought nothing of it, just thought it was normal. I was so thrilled with the way this pregnancy was going, I was hardly sick, I could eat anything I wanted. When I was pregnant with both of my boys I had morning sickness the whole way through. I was ecstatic; I thought I could finally enjoy one of my pregnancies.

Then last Monday I started spotting, I knew something wasn't right, I went straight to the ER and the doctor took my blood, my HCG was excellent, they did an internal and the cervix was still closed, so I was sent home with a referral for an ultrasound the next day.

I was so nervous, when I went for the ultrasound, the doctor told me he couldn't see anything in my sack, he could see it, but he estimated me to be only about 4-5 weeks pregnant, to early to see a heartbeat, I thought I was more like 7-8 weeks along. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought I had my dates really wrong. We still remained positive the baby was ok.

I had another HCG test on Friday and the results came back higher then they were on Monday but not as good as I had hoped.

Then on Friday I miscarried our baby, I found my yolk sack and the tiny fetus in my pad. I was shocked, angry and devastated at what I had seen. I am still not quite sure how I am going to deal with it.

I have lost 2 babies with in one year, I am not sure if I want any more children now.


Kelly

Our lost baby

I found out yesterday that there was not a fetal heartbeat on my 8 week ultrasound. My doctor has told me my options are a D&C or to simply wait for a miscarriage. I have 3 beautiful children who make me laugh every day and I am so grateful for them!

It is hard for me to believe that this one didn't make it since all 3 others were so problem free. I think I need a little more time before deciding on a D&C but my OB says the longer I wait, the greater the chance of infection and risk. What a choice! This makes me EXTRA grateful to God for the babies I do have and my heart goes out to the women who have suffered pregnancy losses. I now feel your pain.

Aly

Lonely

Hi there,
I had a missed miscarriage about 18 months ago. I knew right from the start that I was pregnant, my breasts were so painful and I could only eat soup. As I am diabetic I went for a scan as soon as I could to find out how far along I was. In the first scan the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat and he thought I was very early in my pregnancy so he decided to do a more detailed one, no heartbeat, he then decided that I should get an internal one.

The lady doing the scan was very nice but she had an odd look on her face. We were thinking she would be all happy and pointing out the baby and it's heartbeat. Not for one minute did we expect to be told that there was no heartbeat. I just said to her that I did a test at home and it said that I was pregnant and asked why I had been feeling the way I had been feeling if I wasn't pregnant. She said that I was 10 weeks gone but it could of stopped growing up to 3 weeks ago. We were totally devastated. I was given the option of getting pills to start the "process", waiting to see if it would happen itself or a D&C.

We wanted to get out so we decided to wait and see. My fiancé doesn't talk about his feelings and didn't want people to know about the miscarriage, as we hadn't told anyone that I was pregnant, not even my parents. I agreed and kept it all to myself. I sat at home for a week crying, not speaking to anyone and then I decided I couldn't do it anymore and arranged to go to hospital and get the tablets to start the process. We both worked at the same place and he didn't want it getting out so I went by myself to start it off. I drove my self 11/2 hrs to the hospital to sit for 1/2 hour and get pills to drive 11/2 hrs home again on my own. I now think that I should be over it and moving on but I feel so alone and I feel so much resentment towards my fiancé.

My family is a big part of my life and I can tell mum and dad anything and it is totally killing me that I have not told them about this. I still spend days crying because I am so alone. If I could go back, the first person that I would speak to would be my mum because I know that she would help and comfort me. I hope that anyone reading this does what's right for them and not what they think they should do to keep the peace or save face. Ever since going through the process I have not had any contact from any professional regarding my miscarriage, not even to check how I was doing. I think that they will have no choice now but to see me as I cannot go on like this. I need to get my head and my feelings sorted out, I just want to go back to the fun loving girl that I once was.


Tracy