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A heartache that goes ON

well im 18 yrs of age..and i first found out that i was pregnant on fathers Day..HMM what a day..well i was goin to go out with my BOYFRIEND we were goin to go see a movie and i just had to tell me soo as we walked down the block he asked me what i had done today and i told him the same as every otha day then i said i also took a pregnancy test and im pregnant..

and let me tell you i have neva in the whole 1yr in a half seen him as happy as he was that day..SURE i was soo happy myself but to see him that way made me more happier...well then on july 17 we had a misunderstanding we were fighting yelling it was kind of bad then after 20 mins of doin that we stopped..cause we knew stress was bad for the baby i had to be around 2months pregnant at that time

well then after the fight we went in side and went to bed the next morning i woke up not feelin so well so i called my mother jus to say hi and tell her how i was feeling and told her i was having so cramps and rite away my mother told me to go into the bathroom and see if i was bleeding and sure enuff i was i called her back and i was crying my eyes out at this time and she came to get me soo we could go to the hosptal..

when we got there i just new i didnt need no doctor to tell me something i already knew..and all i can say is after that day i was neva the same slowly i know things will get better for me and my boyfriend..and im sure one of these's days GOD will make it up to us..

The ONES that lost and suffered the most he will bless us all im sure of that

Samantha**
MY heart goes out to everyone that has lost a peices of them on there day....

SaMmI

Saying Good Bye

On Valentines Day 2008 i felt abdominal pain on the right side of my stomach. I went to the Doc for a check up as i was worried tht it might be appendics. However, i was tested negative for it.

2 weeks later i find myself so lethargic and it was very hard for me to wake up in the morning...Again, being paranoid i went for a check up. The doc suggested that i take a blood test just to see whether i'm having dengue fever or etc..However, on 25th of Feb i found out that i was pregnant at 5wks.

It was the news that my husband & i have been waiting for since we got married on 26th Oct last year. Both our parents were thrilled & excited since it will be their first grandchild. I was well taken care of by my mum & mother in law in terms of food intake, supplementary vitamins etc...However, on 1st of Mar i noticed light stains on my panty, so i rushed to the nearest O&G and she said that i'm facing with a theartened miscarriage.

She prescribed me with hormone pills that was supposed to support the pregnancy for 1wk so that by the time i turn 6wks, she is hoping to hear the baby's heartbeat. On 3rd of Mar i woke up in a pool of blood...The worst thing is that my husband is working 450miles away from me & i was facing it alone..i was rushed to the hospital & i was told not to continue with the pregnancy as it was life threatening..i cried myself out & luckily my husband arrived on time to comfort me.

He told me that what's more important is to make sure that i'm safe & to accept the fact that our baby is not ready to be in this world. There must be a good reason behind it & God have His special ways of giving something good in return in the near future for our patience in accepting this loss..

I am truly grateful for having such a great husband who gave me strength, love & encouragement when i need it the most.

At 9.30pm i said good bye to my baby & just before i was pushed into the OT, my hubby kissed my stomach & said good bye to our baby as well. It was the most painful sight tht i've ever experienced however i still believed tht our body will reject something that is not meant to be.

At 11.00pm i was out from the OT & i was still 'high' but i can still hear my husband sobbing next to me saying tht it hurts him a lot to see me in such a great pain & having to leave me behind as he has to go back to work which is 450miles away..before he went off, he wrote one beautiful note for me which managed to put a smile on my face the next morning when i woke up.

And now after 2 weeks of the painful loss i've learnt to appreciate life & people around me more. I realised the less i worry, the sooner i get better..and now i'm set to start a new beginning for my marriage. Hey, at least my husband has a point; we are proven to have babies!

And now, we will wait for another 3 mths to pass before conceiving again..

And i truly pray that God will grant us with a beautiful child one day to brighten up the family & brings lots of joy & love to our marriage.

Finas

Why me I ask

I feel better sharing my story with people who have gone through the same thing as me.

I am 24 years old and have had 2 miscarriages. God blessed me with a beautiful little girl and we decided to expand our family 1 1/2 years ago. To my surprise I found out that i was pregnant while on vacation and when I went to the doctor I was 8 weeks, but the embryo stopped forming at 6. I was so devastated and had blood drawn to make sure that my preggo hormones were going down.

The second happened to one of the days that supposed to be the happiest ever, Christmas Eve. I was happy to have seen a positive on the test and when I went to the doctor, the nurses were cheering for me. I was expecting good news and the nurse had a baby bag with pregnancy supplements just waiting for me.

As I lay on the table, the doctor kept telling me that everything was going to be ok. He started trying to hear a heartbeat and was not able to. Then he said "Well let's take some blood work and see what is going on" well that meant "Your are losing it and I just dont wanna be the one to say it" Needless to say, my angel was gone in a blink of an eye.

Now I am late 8 days and am going to such pains because eveytime that I take a preggo test, it come back negative. I feel that I am being punished for some reason. I am the person who is willing to take my shirt off of my back to give to someone.

Why I ask myself, why does this happen to me?

TA

septate uterus

I lost my baby at 13 weeks along with many problems during my pregnancy.

When I miscarried the doctor informed me that i had bicornuate uterus. I ended up going to a reproductive specialist and he suggested surgery to remove a septum from my uterus -- he did not believe that it was bicornuate uterus.

So i listened to his opinion and went into surgery, im in the process of healing now, he ended up removing the septum from my uterus. I know a lot about my deformity..but what id really love to hear would be other peoples similar experience.

I want to know that this surgery will help my to carry my future baby without all the complications i had.

If anyone went through this surgery and had a child after, i would love to hear your story!

jessica

to my surprise

I am 30 years old and have a 15 year old and and 8 year old child. both of them are from separate fathers. both of the fathers cheated on me. so i became a single mom.

I met a man that i have been with for 3 years now we have never spoke about marriage or anything in detail to be exact.we had gone on several trips and i messed with my birth control pills with his knowledge becasue i did not want to be on my period when we were traveling. lo and behold i was on the pill for a month and i stopped. thinking i would get my period 4 days past nothing. i did a test a work and it turned out positive.

i called my boyfriend i am thirty is sounds funny saying boyfriend but anyhow he vomitted. for the next week after i found out he cried was upset lost about ten pounds from not eating. i did not know what to do i felt so alone. here i had this great thing happen it wasnt expected but i did not want to abort it either.

the next week i started getting a crampy feeling. i went to the er they said i had an ovarian cyst but that the pregnancy was ok the cyst would go away on it's own. i was sad about not knowing if my child would have a father in his life but happy the baby was there. somehow or another i would make it.

my family knew i was worried they supported me and said no matter what happened they would be there to help. i went to see the ob/gyn two days later and he was in a hurry and just said dont drink dont smoke i will do a ultrasound in two weeks. i told him i started feeling this crampy feeling he said it is normal. i knew down deep inside it wasnt but I had never wanted to be wrong in my life so bad.

so i rubbed my belly everyday with my sadness of not knowing what would happened in my life, would i deliver alone or with a dad in the picture or would i spend my pregnancy alone. i had never had that happen my two children before were wanted and their dads thrilled to hear about having them.

5 days past last thursday i woke up and went to the bathroom and i saw pink streak on the toliet paper and my heart dropped i knew it, i knew it. i called the ob/gyn he wanted be to do a hcg-quant. test. the number dropped 1200 within 5 days. that day i did not feel pregnant anymore it was ok to lay on my stomach my breasts were not swollen.

the doctor told me i lost the pregnancy and recommended i have a d&c. i have never felt so alone, empty and i have no drive to do anything. i dont want to go on any pills my ins co wont answer so i can somehow get into a therapist.

to make matters worst my boyfriend has just moved on like nothing happened. he took me for the procedure he was great then. but the following morning he went to work and i have not seen him since. he calls me but has not come by just to see how i am. at moments i just want to crawl in a hole and die.

i have my children to live for and my family they have helped alot. but no matter what anyone does i cant bear this hole in my heart. i had already started making plans to find a bigger place, names, my due date marking my calendar. i made of list of things i would need for the baby and it is gone.

it is liked someone robbed my future worst of my baby.

carmen