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Three Miscarriages

I've had three miscarriages now – the first at six weeks and then two at nine and a half weeks. I have no children and I am 44. After the second miscarriage I was persuaded to have a D&C - I think it was thought a D&C would help me to get over the whole thing quicker. However I developed an infection after this and was off work for three months and really wasn't back on form for at least another year.

My last miscarriage was about five months ago - initially I coped by trying to keep my mind busy, perhaps I was subconsciously putting off dealing with it until I felt stronger physically. Now I feel it's suddenly hitting me. It's probably proving even more difficult to deal with this time as very few people know about it. I think the communities (often non-western) which share and celebrate the knowledge of a pregnancy from the very first month are perhaps more able to help the parents and family when there is a miscarriage.

It would certainly help to mourn the loss of my latest child if more than just a few of those around me knew about it.

C.

Sigh

I have been married to my wonderful husband for two years, and am finishing up my (rather extended) dissertation in the next few months. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared about being able to finish school, and how much my life would change. I gradually got more excited about the pregnancy, and began to tell family and friends. Their joy and excitement brought me closer to my pregnancy, and my husband and I began to plan for our new future as a family.

We started listing names, arranging the nursery, and laughing about how fat I would be at Christmas! I have a few friends and coworkers who are also pregnant, and I enjoyed commiserating in the mornings at work. I looked at my husbands beautiful eyes and saw how happy he was and hoped that my baby would look at me with those same eyes.

Last weekend I lost my baby at 11 weeks. I feel guilty that I wasn't overjoyed at first, and depressed that maybe my baby felt my fear. I want to try again as soon as possible but am so terified of going through this again.

Two nights ago I found out a good friend's girlfirend was pregnant. I feel deep distress that I have to go through watching her pregnancy, and disappointment in myself for my ungenerous feelings toward other people and their pregnancies right now.

All my sympathy to all of you. I know after some time goes by we will heal, and it is helpful to be able to share with others who understand the emptiness after losing a pregnancy.

S.G.

My miscarriage

Hey everyone. I was six weeks pregnant and i went to the emergency room because i was having cramping they sent me home and said everything was ok. Well the next day i woke up and i started bleeding, so again i went to the emergency room. They done an ultrasound and they said everything was ok. the doctor told me to go home and the baby would be ok.

well i did and that night i started having awful cramps so i got up and went to the bathroom and my baby came out. I tell you it is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with in my life. Everyday i wake up i think about it.

My baby would be a year old this september.

melanie

Incompetent cervix

I have an incompetent cervix, i have lost 2 babies in less than one year. Both of my babies were born alive, i delivered both at around 22 weeks each. I never even found out that i had a incompetent cervix until it was to late with my second baby. With the first baby i never even new something was wrong until one night i was lying in bed and my water broke. I rushed to the hospital and delivered a little boy at 2:06 a.m.

With my second baby i went to the hospital numerous times because i was a little paranoid after what had happened the first time. but i soon found out that i was right to be paranoid, because one night i went thinking that my water was leaking and the ob nurses told me that i was dialated to 2. the next mourning they transferred me to springfield hospital, where i finally seen a high risk baby doctor. He told me that i had a incompetent cervix and that it could be fixed with a procedure called a cerclage. the only problem was that when they checked me out to see if they could do the cerclage my placenta bag was half way out of my cervix.

I sat in the hospital for a week just waiting in missery, when finally one day the doctor came in and told me that i would have to be induced due to such a high risk for infection. After 18 hours of labor i finally gave birth to a second little boy, he lived for 4 hours.

I have never been through anything so horrible in my entire life, i hope none of you mothers have to go through it.

Jamie

It feels like too many to count.

I was 19 (It was 2002) when I had my first miscarriage. My husband and I had been married for almost a year and we had been trying to get pregnant. I was 3 days late and took a test I couldn’t believe my eye it was positive. I called my husband and told him the good news then I rushed right over to my moms and told her. YEAH a new baby! 3 days later I started bleeding. I went to the doctors and they told me I had lost the baby… man rip my heart out why don’t you!
1 month later I still hadn’t gotten y period…I was pregnant again YEAH but what if something happens? 2 months go by I am doing ok…2 ½ months go by I start bleeding…I go to the doctors and I am losing one of the babies (I am pregnant with TWINS) 1 week later I start bleeding again but worse.. I am hemorrhaging and I have lost the 2nd baby. MAN I wanted to just DIE 2 technically 3 miscarriages in 4 months.
It is now 2004 and I am 21. EVERYONE in my family is pregnant all 7 sister in laws my best friend and my older sister. Man I REALLY want a baby. I am 2 weeks late. I take a test...I tell my husband but wait to tell the families. I get 3 LDS blessings to help with the pregnancy. It is 3 months later and I am still pregnant…thanksgiving day I start bleeding…we rush to the hospital…I have a tear in my cervix but the baby girl in there is fine. I deliver her to fun term. YEAH 
6 months (so about August 2005) later I am pregnant again and suffer another miscarriage. It is Christmas of 2005 I am 3 ½ months pregnant. I go in for my 3 month check up and they can’t find a heart beat…they send me to the hospital and they can’t find a heart beat either…It was a baby boy my husband wanted a boy so bad. We lost him 2 weeks before Christmas. How was I going to go on living?
I have had 4 miscarriages and I am 23, but I have that one little girl that smiles and makes life worth living. The twinkle in her eyes when she smiles and says “Mommy PLEASE can I have…?” I won’t quit trying to have more children but it hurt every time I think about those loses. Would I change going through what I have? NOT ON YOUR LIFE. If I hadn’t gone through what I did I wouldn’t have my daughter.

Jamie