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Not Just Another Pregnant Teen

I got pregnant the first time my boyfriend and I slept together. I was 17 and he was 19. I remember the day we found out we were going to have a baby. I woke up feeling so sick. I touched my stomach; it was hard. Part of me just knew. We took the test and waited. It was positive. We just sat there in disbelief. There were so many questions. Could we take care of a baby? How are we going to tell our families? What about school? I cried, and he held me. He told me that whatever decision we came to, we would see it through together. Neither of us had to heart to even think about giving the baby up, whoever it was, it was ours.
Telling our parents wasn't easy. He has conservative Christian parents who absolutely flipped out. My mother was disappointed in us, but supported our decision to keep the baby. His parents came around, and all of us started to plan for the baby. My due date was March 1st, 2009. I could finish my first semester of college. My boyfriend and I were getting used to the idea of becoming parents.
When I was 11 weeks pregnant, I woke up with severe cramping in my stomach. I knew that something wasn't right. I threw back my covers and saw blood. I screamed, waking my mom. She ran into my room, saw me and told me that we were going to the doctor immediately. I got on the phone with my boyfriend. I was crying so hard that I could not get the words out. My mom took the phone, and I remember her telling him to meet us at the hospital, and that I had probably miscarried. The trip to the hospital seemed to take forever. All I could think about was if my baby was okay. Deep down, I knew that he/she wasn't okay. My boyfriend met us at the hospital, along with his parents. The doctor confirmed to him and I that I had indeed miscarried, and that these things happen. I think that to him, we were just another teenage couple. We cried. Our child was gone, and we never got to meet him/her.
I am now 20 years old and a full time college student. My boyfriend and I are still together. We saw everything through together. Recovering was very hard for both of us. Two months after I lost the baby, his sister found out that she was pregnant, and in July gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I would be lying if I said that I was resentful in the beginning. I would be lying if I had said that the thought "That should be me," didn't cross my mind. But when I met my nephew for the first time, all of those feelings disappeared. I love him as I would love my own son. I am confident that one day I will have children of my own. It just wasn't the right time.

Layla

I could not have asked for a better pregnancy - I've always been in good health - working out regularly and eating well since I was a teenager. Outside of tiredness in the first trimester, it was easy to carry Layla for the remainder of the 36 weeks and 3 days that she lived. As I was in the last month of pregnancy, I was seeing my doctor weekly; on what would be my last appointment, she could not find a heartbeat - an ultrasound confirmed that Layla had died in the womb. I had not experienced any symptoms like bleeding or cramping. I was induced and Layla was still born at 5.6 lbs, beautiful and perfect. There was no sign on Layla or the placenta to indicate what could have been the problem. Eleven weeks and two days later, I am still awaiting the autopsy report. Preliminary results have shown nothing.

I am still counting how old she would be with every day that passes. I don't know how long I will feel compelled to continue doing so... I am okay most days now, and for most hours of the day I do well, but I feel her absence today just as strongly as I did when my husband and I left the hospital the next day empty handed. To anyone who as ever lost a child in this way, my heart, prayers and thoughts are with you.

Therese

Joshua

I had a wonderful pregnancy all the way up till the end. I went out to dinner with my best friend for her bacherlorette party the night before because I couldn't obviously go to the party I was 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I went home and was feeling my belly to try and feel my baby move but I fell asleep. I woke up in the morning and I was worried cause he wasn't moving which was sometimes normal but he would always move when I would eat breakfast so I ate breakfast and still no moving. I called my midwife and she advised me to go to the emergency room and they hooked me up to the monitor and no heartbeat was found. It felt like the world had stopped turning it still feels unreal when I go back to that moment. I was induced a couple hours later and Joshua was born asleep on September 13th @ 3:51 AM. He was absolutley beatiful 7lbs 4oz not a single sign that anything was wrong. I got to hold my son for the first and the last time at my hospital stay. I can't imagine something like this would ever happen to me I did everything right in my pregnancy. I feel for every mother this has happened to leaving the hospital empty handed and coming home to a perfect nursery you had set up for your little one is the worst feeling any human being can probably handle. Nobody can say the right words or make you feel better about it when your baby dies. Nobody can fully understand the questions running through your mind unless they have suffered the same experience. Life can be so unfair sometimes and I dont know what helps heal a heartbreak like this I still have yet to find that.

Kelly

Does the thought ever go away?

Today my baby would be six years old. I was going through a breakup when I miscarried so I didn't even know I was pregnant until the week before the miscarriage. Everything was fine that Wednesday when I went to the doctor. I was 9 wks. along and was given the due date of October 11. I was scared. I was happy. I had horrible morning sickness. I didn't know how to tell the father. We promised each other no contact for two weeks. Then Sunday night horrible cramps and spotting. I didn't feel like working Monday, but I did anyway. My cramps led me to the bathroom where I passed large blood clots. My baby. The one that I didn't want and wasn't ready for, but still love with all my heart. I never told the father, even though I spoke with him today. I quietly mourn our baby alone every year on this day. Sometimes I think I wished it away. Sometimes I think God took it away from us because we were selfish in our relationship. I can't seem to accept the fact that this baby wasn't in the plans for me or the father or the world.
My

Jessica Rosson

never felt this before

What am I feeling right now? I'm not sure really what i'm feeling. I can't sleep right now i wake up looking for something but don't know what. wake up feeling lost and dont know where im going. I was 5w. and 5d. Last Tuesday morning, Oct. 5, 2010, I started to spot a little and had some cramping. I have 5 children, all normal pregnancies and deliveries, so when the pain and spotting got bad I knew it wasnt normal. I was bleeding bright red and then really dark red blood. I had never had a miscarrige, but I knew I was then. And I also knew there was nothing that my dr. could do. With my 4th child, boy, I had a partial placental abruption at 10-12 weeks, I thought i had lost that baby
but he was fine. Somehow I knew this was differant I could just feel this baby slipping away. The next day, Wed. Oct. 6, I passed the sac with the tiny one. It wasn't what you would expect and anyone who has had to go through this knows what I mean. But I KNEW that was him/her. It is now the following Monday, tomorrow will be one week since I lost my little one to and early miscarriage. dont give up- God controls what we think we do. He knows what he's doing, so be strong and don't question his will. He loves us all.
Even the little Angels he loans us for only a little while.

Samantha Boyd