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A loss at full term

2 years ago I sadly had a stillbirth at 40 weeks and 5 days. It was a shock as I was at home on my own, not knowing what to do as the placenta came out with the baby. Me and baby were addmited to hospital where a stillbirth was confirmed. It was the most orfull pain I had ever felt in my life, and still is. 10 weeks later we got the results of the postmortom. It confirmed our suspicions that it was a placental abbruption. The placenta had bacame detatched from me, probbable the day befor I delivered him. Maternity staff were puzzeled as I didn't have any bleeding, any pain or any other signs. I had the perfect pregnancy untill the birth. Although I know what happened, it still angers me as I can't be given a reason as to why the placenta bacame detatched. It doesn't seem good enough.

2 years on it still hurts very much, but it isn't as raw as it was. For a while I struggled being around other babies, and looking at pregnant women. It made me jelous, and angry at the same time.

I have just found out that I am pregnant again this week, and I am very happy. I thought I would be confused and terrafied, but i'm not. I'm looking forward to it, and i'm very hopefull for the future.

Jan Hooper

2 pregnancies, both ended in a missed miscarriage

Hi, i'm new to all this, but wanted to share my story with others. I am 27 and have fallen pregnant twice. Both of these ended in missed miscarriages. I've read all the statistics, and understand how common it is to experience at least 1 miscarriage during a fertile life span, but 2 is slightly more rare. I can't help but feel it is something I've done. I used to smoke, but gave up a long time ago. I've suffered with discharge for a few years, and have had swabs taken, but nothing comes of it. So maybe that has something to do with it? I've been told that they wont investigate why, until I've had 3 miscarriages. I don't think i could handle another 1! 2 in the space of 5 months, is quite hard. Is anyone else going through the same thing, as I could do with someone to talk to about this. Thank you for your time. X

Lucy

my sweet boys x

as soon as i woke up, i knew something was wrong.

i was 25 weeks with twins, this was all that i'd ever dreamed of - a family, husband, house with a garden a little dog - my life was perfect. it was 2 boys - Alasdair Rowan Kingsley, and William Frank Kingsley

. but as i jerked awake, i felt the screaming pain across my stomach, i knew it wasn't braxton hicks. fearful, i went to the bathroom, but on the landing my waters broke. with the next contraction i grabbed the banister and just leant there sobbing. my husband oscar woke with the commotion, and he held me as i cried, carried me downstairs to the car where we drove to the hospital.

i went from sad, to panicky, i was distraught - my babies, help my babies! but somewher inside me i knew it was too late. what was the survival rate? could they delay it? oscar kept me positive the whole way there, lots of hugs which i needed so badly.

when i was examined they said there was nothing they could do- i was too far gone. i wept into oscars chest. it was horrible, them telling me to push when i knew it was wrong, i shouldn't be here, doing this, im too early.

my 2 angels were delivered at 4 in the afternoon. william weighed 1lb 3oz, and lived 2 1/2 hours before he passed away. alasdair fought for 3 days before he too passed away.

the doctors say that they were just to small, their lungs weren't properly developed, nor was the rest of their vital organs. they said i could of gone into labour for a number of reasons, but i felt like i'd failed them. my 2 sweet boys were so perfect as i held them, but my body was not strong enough to keep them.

i am scared to try again, afterwards i became depressed, and me and oscar sometimes struggled to communnicate. it hurts everyday, and at first i was so angry that the world just kept on turning , nothing changed, BUT MY BOYS WERE dEAD, I HAD CHANGED! yet i felt that everyone else was ignorant to my crumbling. me and oscar are still together, still in love, i know oneday i will be a mother, but it'll take a while for me and oscar to be ready for that all again.

carly

Lost my sec child at 10 weeks

I was going 10 weeks strong and everything seemed to be great, but I was so surprised the whole 10 weeks that the only symptoms I was having was enlarged breast, large appetite, and fatigue. Suddenly just about 3 days ago. I was dripping a little bit of bright red blood but the cramping was mild. I called 3 nurses and all of them told me it's normal and it's just implantation bleeding. The next day something told me not to go to work and to try to get a doc appointment early. I started getting sharp sparadic pains in my sides and that's when I called the doc and demanded an appointment. Three hours later they said I could come in for an ultrasound and lab work. When I got there. They made me wait over 2 hours. All of a sudden the pain hit me hard and I could barely walk to the bathroom. The toilet was filled with blood clots and bright red blood. I knew I lost my baby. I didn't realize how long I was in there til the Doc came to the door and said she needed to see me. She brought me into the room and checked my uterus and told me the placenta collapsed and I was in the middle of a miscarriage. They rushed me to the ER and performed surgery. The gave me meds that made me sleep through the whole surgery. Today I'm just re-coping with everything but my boyfriend has been here which has been a huge help, it also helps to remind myself that I still have my two year old beautiful daughter and that my boyfriend and I can alway try again later down the road. God has his reasons for everything and I fully trust God's decision.

Jenn Holland

pregnacy after a still birth

we lost our daughter isabella at 28 weeks in feb 2010 they say there was no reason for her have died but we feel the weekend shift and lack of doctors on duty i was in hospital from friday afternoon but was made to wait till monday morning for a scan sadly izzy died early hours monday after no movement from satrday after they had given me my second lung injection for her i was told lack of movement was down to her being sleep but sadly she was dying in me
how 5 months on im 12 weeks pregnant and scared as hell
i was told 5 years ago i could have anymore children and izzy proved them all wrong and so has this one

sharmayne repetto-lee