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My Son

I found out I was pregnant on May 27th, I was so excited, everything in the world seemed wonderful. My husband was so happy, he couldn't keep it to himself. He wanted to tell everyone and he did. We both did, but he seemed so happy to do it, I let him tell most of the time. Everyone was so happy for us, We had been to gether over 9 years and this was something everyone was waiting for. Life was good. Everything was progressing normally. Nothing unusual through the entire pregnancy. At our 14 week U/S things looked great, the heart beat was strong, the baby was kicking and moving around. As I was moving further towards my 18 week appointment. I noticed that I was not really gaining any weight, and my belliy was not getting any rounder. Assuming it was one of those phases of the pregnancy where you don't really gainmuch weight. I thought nothing of it. Plus I am over weight and I was told that I might not gain much weight since i am already overweight. Which was fine by me.

So it was the day of my 18 week ultrasound, I was 18Weeks and 4 days, and we figured since it was just going to be a quick check up my husband didn't need to go. I so wish he had.

When I was ready to get the U/S by the dr, she asked me how I'd been. I told her I was great, I wasn't feeling any movements yet but I was excited to find out what the sex of the baby was. She smiled and started to gel me up for the U/S, she kept going over my belly, and we couldn't see any movement, she tried to shake around my belly to wake the baby up incase it was sleeping. He didn't move at all. Suddenly I could feel my heart rate speeding up, I felt a dread unlike anything I ever felt before. Something was wrong. She tried and tried to see, but nothing, no movement. Then she pulled out the heart monitor to check onthe heart. No sound, nothing but static. She could see me getting worked up and told me not to panic, she was going to send me to get another sonogram, and double check everything. About 2 hours later, I was back at her office. The technician would tell me anything, but I was already tearing up and feeling like the end of the world. Still I kept a little hope, just in case, making promises to everything about what I would do if my baby was ok.

Once back in the office. I saw the Dr. as soon as I entered, she said she was trying to get my husband on the phone, right away I knew it was bad, there was no hope. I had already anticipated this, so I just numbly nodded. She directed me to her office and I went in. I took a seat, and she sat down. I will never forget her words.

"I'm sorry, the baby is dead" At first hearing her say that it seemed so surreal, I just nodded. She said she was trying to get my husband on the phone. After that it is mostly a blur, but I know that my husband came in as soon as he could, less then an hour later. We both just held each other and cried. I was in the waiting room at this time, but thankfully it was empty. I told him what she had told me. She saw he had come in and called us both back to her office. She told us it looked like the baby had died recently and that I would have to have it removed.

She scheduled us for a vaginal birth the next day, tuesday evening we were both in the hospital, I was induced and given and epidural for the pain. Wednesday at 12:44pm I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. He was so small, much smaller then an 18 week baby would have been. Its been emotionally painful ever since then. I am trying to keep it together so I don't become a crying burden for my husband. He's been great through the whole thing, and I know he is hurting very badly too. I've promised him that we are meant to be parents and that we will have healthy babies soon.

Its been one week since I lost my son. It doesn't get any less painful but it does get easier to cope with. There are good days and bad, and I'm looking forward to the days when I will once again be pregnant and hopefully carrying a healthy child that we can share our love with.

Payton

Im sorry

I dont even know where to start. Well me start at the beginning. It all started when I was fourteen. I had sex for the first with a friend of mine. It wasnt that big of a deal to me, even though it should of been. It was July of 2003 and I had met this guy. His name was Cory. It was just a one night thing but that one night changed my life forever. Fast forward to October of 2003, I missed my period for the rest of summer. I was so scared that I was pregnant but I kept telling myself that it was just stress. I wasnt feeling well and was missing alot of school so my mom took me to see my doctor. Right there in the doctors office, I broke down and told my mom everything. She was so mad at me. She explained everything that I just told her to my doctor, I couldnt talk because I was crying so hard. I was ashamed at myself for letting my mom down. I was only fourteen at the time. My mom always told me if I was to get pregnant young that I wasnt going to keep, that I would get an abortion. So I knew the next step. After confirming that I was indeed pregnant, my mom scheduled my abortion. By the time we finally got in to the clinic I was already fifteen because my birthday had just passed. My first exam I was told that I would need a two day procedure because I was already fourteen weeks. At the time I didnt know what that meant , I just knew that I was pregnant. On November 10, 2003 I had my abortion done. That was the worst pain that I ever experienced at that age. Now five years later, Im in a wonderful relationship but I regret my decision. I want so badly to have a baby to make up for mistake I made but I cant. My finance doesnt want kids now and that tears me up inside. Im sorry for what I did, I hope God will forgive me. Even though its been five years, it feels like it was just yesterday. Please dont judge me because just writing my story took so much courage.

Sarah

missed miscarriage

Hi
I am 31 years old I recently lost my baby, on 28th week of my pregnancy, I had missed miscarriage I was unaware that the fetus had died in my womb until I had had scan done, doctor informed me that the fetus had stopped growing on 21 st week and I was asked to terminate my pregnancy, and I had normal delivery without any surgery done. After my miscarriage I underwent Torch test and found positive. And doctor advise me to have spiramicin and acivir dt-400 for next 3 months. my past history is that when I was 18 years old I was raped by 52 years old man and i had two abortion done. after 11 years I got married and I had this missed miscarriage. I am totally depressed I want to conceive again. will I have a normal baby again please help

nisona

my miscarriage experience

I had occassional spotting beginning one month into my pregnancy. The nurses told me it was normal which I have read that it was especially after intercourse and wiping after using the toilet. When I was 9 weeks I began bleeding and it did not stop. It was light but flowing. I went in for an u/s and the doctor called me the next night advising that the u/s showed a pregnancy that was 5 weeks not 9. The next day I underwent a blood test. When I spoke the doctor the following day, he advised that the levels were not where they should be and after reviewing the images from my u/s he found that the gestational sac was deformed and not that of a healthy pregnancy. He told me that I was indeed going to miscarry. It happened naturally 5 days after I began bleeding. My husband and I already have a 17 month old daughter made this experience a lot easier to take. We intended on trying again as soon as we are able.

April

r.j.

Hi my name is selina.This is my story. I'm 27 years old I have 3 beautiful children one is 11, 6, and 5. I got pregnant in oct. of 2007. I have an 11 year old son from a previous relationship and 2 girls with my now husband. So when i came out preg. we hoped for a boy. Well the day we went to find out what we were having we found out it was a boy. My husband was so exited. Well on June 22 2008 I woke up that morning bleeding not thinking anything bad I called my husband and told him it was time to go to the hosp. All the way to the hospital i was getting contractions so i thought everything was fine. Well I got to the room and they could'nt find the heartbeat. they came in with the machine and couldnt find a heartbeat. the nurse then told me my baby had died. I then chose to deliver naturally so i waited 6 hours to deliver my son. He was born at 3:45pm on a sunday afternoon.I miss him everday. I long to feel a baby right now so bad.I had 3 friends preg. at the same time and all of them have thier baby but me. dont get me wrong i'm happy for them but why did this have to happen.i want to try agin but i'm so scared how do you go 9 months not knowing if it is going to happen agin.

selinam