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PPP

Help. I don’t know what to do. I've been suffering from Post partum psychosis and I’m too ashamed to tell anyone that I know. What makes matters worse is that the one person that I did find myself confident enough to tell now has threatened to take away my baby and commit me to a mental health facility. I can’t stand the fact that my little one will be taken away much less the fact that I’d be put in a hospital until I get over this illness. Isn't there anything else that I can do?

Laura

Liam Peter

I'm 23 and gave birth to my second son Liam peter on the 11th of June. I was induced 11 days after my due date and gave birth 3 hours later; it was very quick. I was so overwhelmed when I saw this little boy, but at the same time couldn’t help but feel regret.

I suffered from postnatal depression with my first son Callum now 3, and unfortunately I have it again. The father of both boys is supportive and I know my mum is always there to help. There is no worse feeling then depression, not having that connection with your child, not wanting to see anyone, its like although you are surrounded by people.... you feel so alone.

I’m now on medication and feeling better but don’t let anyone tell you that you will get over the baby blues. If you don’t feel better after a week get help, it doesn’t make you a bad parent, we are not super woman!!! We need help 2.

Tara

Crying

The first week I was with me baby I just felt so guilty like I had did something wrong. My mom came in and asked me what was wrong, and I told her and she said, "don't feel guilty because, you have something precious here and she need you"!!!

But I really think that the first week was the worst because I couldn't get close to my daughter like I wanted to because postpartum depression began to take over.

But in the end I won my self back and began to enjoy my daughter who is now 1 year old.


Marri

My "Baby Blues"

I gave birth to my son on Dec. 28th and it was such a wonderful experience. I never knew what this felt like, I mean, I've heard different stories and things but there's nothing like going through this yourself. My labor was induced so I had the date set and everything. I thought I had "myself" together. I figured "no problem, I'll just go to the hospital, give birth to my son, then my husband and I come home and live happily ever after." That is definitely not the end of this story.

See, I've heard of postpartum depression before but not the "baby blues". Quite frankly, I wasn't ready for any form of depression, whether it be mild or severe. My "baby blues" began on New Year's Day about four days after giving birth. I felt sad because I knew that the very moment that my son was born and the very first view I had of him, I would never get to see again. I felt depressed looking at how much fluid retention I had in my body. It was horrible. My legs were so swollen it hurt to even touch them and my feet were even worse! When I walked I felt the fluid go "swish, swish" in my feet and they didn't even look like feet to me but rather loaves of bread or something.

My husband is generally a sweet man and he means well, and he didn't say this but I knew he wanted to get out of the house. He went to his mother's for a while on New Year's Day while all of my family was at our house. I understood yet I was still angry at him. I wanted him there and after the family left that day, naturally, I felt lonely and angry. At pretty much two weeks after giving birth, I still feel extremely emotional at times when I look at him. I know this sounds a bit crazy, but I feel emotional knowing that he will never be this size again, that I must especially cherish every moment because I know that the older he gets the more time he will be spending with his father doing "guy" things.

Of course I will bond with him and we will have our own special relationship but he will have his father as well which, don't get me wrong, is great but I tend to feel a little jealousy toward even that! I weep when I look at him because I've never loved anyone or anything so much in my life. I never knew what tears of joy was until I had my child. I weep at the memories of all my family and friends that were at the hospital awaiting his arrival. The thought that I may never see that again makes me sad.

God may bless me to have a second child and I'm pretty sure I will feel all of this again but I even weep for the possibility that I may not be chosen to have a second and that will be the only memory I will have and I began to be overwhelmingly thankful for that because I didn't have to have the privilege in the first place. It's just so emotional. I can't really find a close on explaining this; I just take it day by day.


Tonya

reply to depressed

To "Could I still be depressed....", please be persistent in getting some counseling. You may not have post-partum depression considering the age of your youngest child, but that shouldn't stop anyone from providing you with help. You may very well have "regular" depression, which can be just as dibilitating as post-partum. If your doctor won't listen to you, get another doctor.

Buffi R.