Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Teen dad


You hear a lot of stories of teen girls getting pregnant and having babies, and the fathers are complete deadbeats or they leave their girlfriends after the baby is born. I'm not one of those dads. I became a father when I was 17-years-old and I can say that I am proud of being a dad because raising my children has brought me nothing but joy and happiness. I was 16 and a junior in high school when I met my girlfriend Ashley at the movies. We were in the same grade and attended the same school, but we weren't in the same circle of friends so we didn't know each other beforehand. As funny as it sounds, it was love at first sight. We started dating two weeks later and we had a good relationship. Ashley said she was saving herself for marriage (not for religious reasons but because it was so important to her). I understood what she meant and we didn't have sex right away. But, after 10 months together, we both couldn't resist any longer and decided to take that big step, but Ashley wanted our first time to be perfect. That summer, we went on vacation with our friends to Florida and there, we made love for the first time. We made sure to use protection. Ashley was on birth control but we used a condom as extra precaution. We continued having sex but I can remember a few times we forgot to use protection, but since Ashley was on birth control, we didn't think pregnancy was a possibility. On my 17th birthday in November, we found out that Ashley was pregnant. She gave me a small box with a big ribbon wrapped around it and inside was a positive pregnancy test. A dozen emotions ran through my mind - I was happy, scared, upset, and confused. Ashley was really scared because she was afraid what her parents would say and that they would kick her out. I assured her that I was going to be there for her and support whatever she chose to do. At my birthday dinner, we sat with our parents at the table and broke the news to them, and they were shocked. My mom asked "Are you sure?" while my dad held his face in his hands. Ashley's mom started crying and her dad shook his head and looked really angry. Ashley's parents said that they would take her to the doctor later in the week but if there was still time, they wanted her to have an abortion or else she will ruin her life. My parents were against it and suggested adoption because my family doesn't believe in abortion. They got into a big fight but Ashley and I stood up for ourselves and said it was our choice, and we left to stay at a motel to let them cool off. The next morning, Ashley's mom called and said everyone was ready to discuss the baby with us. Her parents still felt abortion was best, but Ashley and I said we were going to keep our child, and I felt that it was my responsibility because I helped create this baby. But the reality of parenthood scared us - we were still in school, we had no income, no jobs or home of our own. Our parents still weren't accepting of our choice, but our mothers accompanied us to our first doctor's appointment, where we heard the baby's heartbeat. Ashley and I fell in love right away with our baby and knew without a doubt keeping it was the right thing to do. Our friends and teachers were supportive, and helped Ashley with homework when she had to miss school when she was sick or had to see her doctor. It took months, but our parents came around and accepted they were going to be grandparents when our 16th week appointment revealed we were having a boy. Ashley's dad was happy because this was the first boy to be born in her family in 20 years. Ashley and I searched high and low to find jobs that would earn us enough to support a family and household. I started working at the local power plant after school from 3:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.. Ashley worked a Bath and Body Works. When Ashley was 5 months pregnant, she had her baby shower the day after her 17th birthday. I wanted to go, but she said baby showers for women and I said it was baby too. So she let me attend, and I was the only guy there, but I had fun opening presents with Ashley and getting so much baby things for our son. I also appreciated all the good words the guests gave us, despite our young age. Our son was born on August 8, 1997, and we named him Brandon Ryan. Ashley and I got married on July 1, 1998, right after our high school graduation. We moved into an apartment and, at the advice of my parents, I enlisted in the Marines. It was tough being apart from my family while I was in basic training and then I went on my first deployment. But, I was bringing in enough income that Ashley was able to stay home with our son and we bought our first house in 2000. By 2003, things were going so good that we had our second child, our little princess, Kaylee Michelle, on April 10, 2003. When most people ask me how old I was when I had my kids, they assume that I regret having them because I had to give up so much for them. I did give up so much - my dream of going to college and playing football - but I will never regret my kids. They are my pride and joy, and the reason why I breathe. Ashley and I may have had to grow up at a young age, but we have lived like adults since we learned she was pregnant with Brandon. Our parents spoil Brandon and Kaylee rotten, and her parents thank us all the time for not choosing abortion and they feel terrible for even pushing it on us. Brandon just turned 18, graduated high school with honors, and is now attending university with plans to be an engineer. He does football, basketball, baseball, and soccer. Kaylee is 12, in the seventh grade, she makes good grades, and does choir and volleyball at school. Ashley and I are still married and although we have the typical fights like all married couples do, we still love each other and devoted to our children. My main priority has always been making sure my wife and kids are happy and provided for. Never for a second do I second guess my decision to be a teen dad.

I love you forever, Ashley, Brandon, and Kaylee!

Thomas






Nevaeh's Story

My name is Rachel and I'm 25, and I have a 8-year-old daughter. I was 16 when I met Caleb at my older sister's best friend's birthday party in January of 2006. I was instantly attracted to him but I was told by my sister that he was 23 and he had a tragic past. I found out that he had just got divorced after he and his wife suffered a late term miscarriage, and the baby was a boy (I later found out that they named the baby Grayson, after Caleb's grandfather). Caleb was still mourning the death of his son and didn't want to start dating or get close to anyone. Still, though, I approached him and we talked for most of the party. He didn't talk much about himself and I didn't push him to, but we got a little drunk that night and we ended up at his house. We had sex about 3 or 4 times and he made sure to use a condom each time because he didn't want to have anymore children, as he told me. The next morning, I had to get back home before my parents got up and he gave me a quick kiss and said goodbye. We didn't exchange phone numbers and I was disappointed that he didn't ask me to give him my number or email. I figured it was hopeless to get him to date me while he was depressed, so I just left it at that and went on with my usual routine.

I found out I was pregnant 2 days after Valentines Day when I got sick at my part-time job and threw up in the bathroom. My best friend, who worked with me, asked me if I was late after she noticed I didn't have a fever. I realized that I was a few days late and we went to the nearest store to get a pregnancy test. When it came back positive, I was scared and confused. I was only 16, unmarried, and going to have a baby. I told my sister first and when she asked who the father was, I told her it was Caleb. She was upset that her baby sister was pregnant by an older man who likely wouldn't have anything to do with me but she was supportive of whatever I chose to do. She helped me tell our parents. I was so scared to tell them that their honor roll and college bound daughter was pregnant by a 23-year-old. They gave me two options: abortion or adoption. At first I said adoption but I knew deep in my heart that I couldn't give my baby away. I waited three weeks to tell Caleb, and I went to his house to tell him. When I told him, he was not happy and accused me of either faking the pregnancy or pinning the baby on him for money. I told him that I didn't want any money from him and I thought he deserved to know that this was his baby. He said he didn't want to be involved because he was still not over his son's death but he would pay child support if a paternity test proved him as the father. At the end, the test proved that I was right.

When the time came for me to look at profiles of adoptive parents, I announced that I was keeping my baby no matter what. Of course, my parents were not happy but they came around once I found out that I was having a baby girl. Caleb stayed true to his promise and provided me money for doctor's bills and maternity clothes, but I stayed firm in how much he gave me. I didn't want him to give me too much that was more than what I needed. He didn't attend the doctor's appointments but asked for weekly updates on the baby because he said all that mattered to him was that it was healthy. He never told his mom about the baby because he didn't any of his family to be part of her life. Eventually, my mom got angry at him for this and found his mom's address and told her. She was also upset about not being told she was going to be a grandmother. His mom, Ella, came to my house to give me a hug and told me that she was excited about the baby, and she would be part of its life, whether Caleb approved or not. Ella even threw me a pink-themed baby shower with my parents, sister, and friends attending and gave me lots of good wishes. When I was 7 months pregnant, I started having complications and I had to stay in the hospital for two weeks. Caleb found out from his mom and he came straight to the hospital. I was surprised that he came and more so when he told me that he was sorry for pushing me away and that he was happy that the baby was doing good. He also told me that he didn't want our daughter to grow up without her father. After that, we agreed to give our relationship a chance so that our baby would have a family.

Our daughter was born on October 19, 2006. She weighed 7 pounds and 6 ounces and was 19 inches long. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen in my life. She had my light brown hair, fair skin color, and chin but she had Caleb's blue eyes, nose, and face shape. Caleb came to the hospital as soon as I called him that I was having contractions and I was going to the hospital. As I was in labor, I noticed that he was uncomfortable being in the room with me and I told him that he didn't have to be there if he didn't want to, but he stood up and said he was going to be in there for the delivery 100% and he wanted to be the first person to hold the baby. He held my hand through the process, rubbed my head and back, and kept me calm. When the baby came out, he started crying as she was put in his arms and I think he finally understood how guilty he felt for insisting he couldn't love her. He wanted her to have a name that meant something and suggested Nevaeh (which is heaven spelled backwords). Her full name is Neveah Elizabeth McCay - she has Caleb's last name. Caleb never let her out of his sight and he insisted that I move in with him after we left the hospital. He wanted to be the one to feed, dress, and bathe her, and he would watch her sleep in her crib almost every night. When Neveah was 3, Caleb proposed to me by saying he wanted to give back for everything I've given him and he loved me so much for giving him the greatest joy ever. We had a small and beautiful wedding ceremony in his mother's backyard, and Nevaeh was the flower girl, and Caleb insisted that she stand beside him during the ceremony. He supported me finishing high school and going to college, but he was against putting Nevaeh in daycare, so Ella hired a family friend who worked as a nanny. I got my bachelor's degree in teaching and I secured a job as a second grade teacher last year. With Caleb's job as a salesman, we are financially settled and we have a beautiful house. Caleb and I would love to have another baby, but we've been putting it off once I finished school and got a job. We have told Nevaeh that she had an older brother who died, and we've taken her to his grave and everything. Although I was a kid having a kid, Nevaeh is the best thing that ever happened to me - she loves dancing, singing, and is an honor student in the third grade. Caleb and I couldn't ask for a better outcome in the situation we made by accident that night we met, but we don't regret having Nevaeh and she is our precious little princess.

Rachel






Unplanned but wanted

I was 15 when I met my boyfriend, Zak, at school. He was the popular guy with tons of friends and came from a well-off family. I was shy and didn't have many friends, and I was focused on school because I wanted to be a veterinarian. I lived with my mom, who had me when she was 17 and my dad deserted her when she told him she was pregnant with me, and my grandma had to help raise me. My mom was always tired and resentful of being a single mom, and not getting the freedom she felt she deserved, and often left me with my grandmother, who was also resentful to have to take care me while my mom did whatever she wanted to do. I never had a boyfriend before and I didn't care much about having one because I thought I wasn't really pretty but it was really because of my shyness that made me unattractive to the boys. It was the first day of ninth grade when I first saw Zak in the parking lot when he was talking to his friends, and I was instantly attracted to him because of how good-looking he was with his black hair and blue eyes. But I didn't dare to speak to him because I thought he would never give someone as shy as me a chance, so I simply kept to myself. I heard around school that Zak had had tons of girlfriends since he was about 10-years-old and had slept with most of them before dumping them (but this was obviously a fake rumor, I knew it a lie because I hardly ever saw him around girls). We were in math and history together, but never spoke or looked at each other. One day in October, I was eating lunch on the campus when I saw Zak walking towards me and asked me if he could sit with me. I wanted to know what he wanted from me and I let him. He told me that he noticed I was always alone and keeping my face in my books, and I told him that I just liked studying and about my plans for the future. We then properly introduced ourselves to each other and he offered to be my friend. I was surprised that he was interested in me, but I was careful to make sure he wasn't trying to take advantage of me. We started eating lunch together and he studied with me, and then, around Christmas, Zak confessed to me that he really liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. As doubtful as I was about why he wanted to date me, I accepted. We dated for two months before we had sex for the first time. We carefully planned it; we told our parents that we were spending the night with friends and got a hotel room, which he paid with his allowance, for the weekend. He was my first and Zak said that he had slept with two girls before me but said that he loved me the most. I was happy to have a boy who loved me and I fell hard for him too. We used a condom because I wasn't on birth control and my mom didn't think I would be sexually active.

On our six month anniversary, I started throwing up in the mornings (which was strange to me because I never get sick) and my breasts got really tender. I thought nothing of it until late July when I realized that I was a few weeks late on my period. Still, I was so scared about the possibility that I was pregnant that I ignored it and tried to carry on with my life. Me and Zak were so happy and I never told him about my suspicions. I was forced to admit to myself that I was probably pregnant when I got sick at the sight of tuna sandwiches, which I love. I went to the drug store and bought a pregnancy test. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried my eyes out when the positive sign appeared on the stick. I wouldn't believe that I was pregnant with Zak's baby. I was petrified and happy at the same time; scared that I was going to be a 16-year-old mom and happy that I was carrying the child of the person I love. I knew Zak was going to freak out once I told him the news but I was hopping that he would take me into his arms and assure me that he would be there for me. I called him up an hour after taking the test and calming myself down. I asked him where I could meet with him because I had something important to tell him. He asked me to come over to his house while his parents were out, and I went over there, with the test in my purse. We sat in his living room and he asked me what I had to tell him. I didn't say anything and pulled the test out to show him. He looked at it, his eyes widened and in shock. He then started laughing and accusing me of playing a trick on him. I started crying and he realized it was real, and freaked out far worse than I imagined. He said I shouldn't be pregnant because we used condoms each time we had sex and accused me of sleeping around. I got angry and said I hadn't been with anyone but him. He still ranted that I was lying and I was a slut, and I shouted at him for his betrayal. Needless to say, we broke up that day and I told him that I never wanted to see or hear from ever again, and he said the same thing. He made it clear that he didn't think the baby was his and even if I proved it was his, he still didn't want anything to do with it. I left his house balling my eyes out and cursing at myself for falling for this guy and giving him everything before he turned his back on me when I needed him the most. When I got home, my mom asked me what wrong and I sat her down in the dining room and told her. She screamed and cursed at me for being shame and disappointment upon her. I expected this reaction from her and I honestly wasn't surprised when she told me that I was to be out of her house by the weekend. I had only my grandmother's house to go, so the next day, I called her and told her that I was pregnant and been kicked out of the house. She was also really angry and asked me if I considered my options. She and my mom wanted me to have an abortion but I made it clear that I wanted to keep my baby and I was willing to do whatever it took to be the best mother I could be. My grandma was still doubtful of me but she said that I was allowed to stay with her on the conditions that I get a job, stay in school, and save some money because she would only let me live with her for a month after the baby is born. I quickly moved in with her, got a job as a receptionist at a hotel, and put all my focus on school and staying healthy for my baby. A friend's mom helped me apply for Medicaid and a couple of my friends threw me a small baby shower. That was the only time during my pregnancy where I felt so happy and thrilled at having a baby. I still saw Zak at school and I was disgusting to see him act as if I didn't exist, even as my bump grew. He never asked me how was I doing or offered me anything when I would have to go to the nurse's office if I felt sick or when I checked out early for a doctor's appointment. He never once asked if he could go to the doctor's with me, which I often went alone. My grandma was too busy with working and my mom wanted nothing to do with me or her unborn grandchild. It tore me apart that my poor baby didn't have anyone but me who truly loved and wanted it. It didn't matter to me what the gender would be, but I was excited when I learned the baby was a healthy baby girl, and I decided that her name would be Madeline, but I called her Maddie. I never texted or called Zak when I learned we were having a girl because I knew he wouldn't care. My mom and grandma didn't care, they were only more concerned about her following in our footsteps in becoming a young mother, and I got pissed off at them to the point where I didn't bother to update them on my appointments or anything related to the baby.

On March 20, I was in bed when I felt contractions and called my doctor who said that they were likely Braxton hicks and told me to stay home until they got stronger. So I stayed home and tried to wait them out, but after three hours of constant pain, I started crying and shouted at my grandma that I couldn't take it anymore. She called my doctor and he told me that I better get to the hospital. My grandmother drove me to the hospital and we got there at 5:30 that night. She helped check me in and got me settled in, but she said she didn't feel comfortable being there and I wasn't in the mood to argue with her so I told her to go if she wanted, which is what she did. I labored alone 7 hours, the doctor and nurses felt sorry for me but never said anything and they were great with me as they helped me breathe between contractions and rubbed my back to get me comfortable. By 1:05, it was time to push and at 1:28 A.M on March 21, 2008, I gave birth to Madeline Amber Phillips. She was so beautiful when the doctor laid her on my chest. she has my face and green eyes, but she had Zak's black hair and nose. At that moment, I didn't care that she was part Zak's, I concluded that she all mine to keep and I loved her with all my heart. As I held her, after the nurses cleaned her up, I vowed to her that I would be the best mother possible and I would see to it that she had a happy life. I learned to feed her, bathe her, and change her pampers from the nurses. My grandma didn't see Maddie until the day we were discharged and she came to pick us up. My mom said she didn't want to see the baby. Grandma commented how pretty Maddie was but she was overall distant with the baby and me, and looked at me with bemusement as I sported a proud and joyful smile at my baby.

I ended up living with my grandmother longer than expected because I hadn't saved enough money to get my own apartment. She firmly told me that I would have to get a babysitter to watch Maddie while she worked and I was at school because she was not going to watch the baby. Luckily one of my friends' older sister worked as a babysitter and volunteered to watch Maddie while I went to school and worked. I kept true to my promise to finish school, in fact, I earned enough credit to graduate a year early at 17 and that allowed me to work more hours and make more money. By that fall, I was thrilled when I got a promotion at work and earned myself enough money to get me and Maddie an apartment. My grandmother seemed eager for us to go because she helped me pack and insisted that I get everything of mine ready to go, even though I had a few days to prepare for the move. It was hard to make ends meet and living off of paycheck after paycheck. I have to admit that I wasn't prepared for the mountains of bills I had to pay, and I worried that I would be able to get enough food and clothes for the two of us. My grandma tried to pressure me into taking Zak to court for child support and was angry that I was forcing him to take responsibility. But I felt it was pointless to pay for an attorney and take him to court when he likely wouldn't pay anyway. Sometimes, I was forced to leave Maddie with my grandma when my regular babysitter couldn't watch her. When Maddie was 2, I fainted at work and was rushed to the hospital, and the doctor said that I was suffering from low blood pressure due to over working. I tried calling my grandmother to ask how Maddie was doing but I got her voicemail and I was getting worried. Then, I couldn't believe it when the door opened and there stood Zak with Maddie. He told me that my grandma had dropped my daughter off at his house and berated him for being a deadbeat. He still accused me of being a slut and denied that Maddie was his, even when she looked just like him. We got into a shouting match as I insisted he was the father and he got sick of it all and decided to settle the matter with a DNA test. I was taken aback that he would be the first to suggest it and it only proved his certainty that Maddie wasn't his. He paid for the test himself at the same hospital I was at and we were told to wait 10 days for the results. During that time, Zak refused to tell his parents about Maddie and he said that if the test proved he was the father, he would pay child support but he didn't want to be part of her life. I told him that I didn't want his money and I would rather have Maddie be raised with no father than a father who didn't want her. He was surprised when I said that but he acted like he didn't care. When the results came back, they proved that Zak was the father. Zak broke down after reading the results and couldn't understand how he could get me pregnant when we were using protection. I reminded him that I didn't want anything from him and I was prepared to continue raising Maddie alone. I guess the revelation that he was a father caused a drastic change of heart in Zak because he quickly said he was sorry for all that he put me through and he would take full responsibility as a father. I still didn't believe him and asked him to do me and Maddie a favor by signing his rights away. He refused and told me that us arguing over Maddie will only end up in court, which is what both of us wanted to avoid. Still, I avoided him and didn't answer his calls in the weeks after the test results. After 3 weeks, I finally decided to answer his call and my intent was to tell him to leave me alone, but he said that he told his parents about Maddie and they wanted to meet her. I again refused to listen to him but after talking to him for an hour about how his parents were shocked to learn they had a granddaughter but were eager to meet her because she is their first grandchild, I agreed to let his parents meet her on the weekend. I took Maddie to his parents' house, where I meet with Zak and his parents, who right away hugged and kissed her. Zak took me aside and asked me to forgive him and he wanted us to get back together because he wanted Maddie to have both of her parents. I said I no longer loved him and still didn't want anything to do with him. I still asked him to give his rights up because I doubted he would stick around, but he refused. We still argued over him revealing himself as Maddie's father to her and him having visitations with her. I was even reluctant to let him come to her 3rd birthday party, but he did anyway and brought her tons of presents. At the advice of his parents, we attended a mediation session with a counselor, who said that she didn't condone Zak for his actions but she believed he was being sincere in his attempts to be a good father and that me denying him the opportunity to have a relationship with Maddie was based off of my personal hatred towards him rather than me doing what was best for Maddie. After two months of meetings, I finally agreed to a joint custody agreement with Zak; I would have her on the weekdays while he got her on the weekends and we would split on holidays and summer vacation. I finally told Maddie that Zak was her dad and she took it all on board and she was simply happy that she did have a father. Four years later, Maddie is a happy and healthy 7-year-old girl, who is an honor student in the second grade. She does cheerleading, dancing, soccer, and softball. She loves art, playing outside - whether its sunny, rainy, snowy, hot or cold -, animals, and playing with her friends. She loves both me and Zak, and has been settled into her routine of splitting her time between us without complaining. Zak and I are very civil with each other for her sake and, while I still have trouble forgiving him, I am thankful for him stepping up to the plate. Its' so cute when I drop Maddie off on a Friday night at Zak's house and she runs into his arms hollering "Daddy! Daddy!". Zak is interested in getting married, but he says that Maddie is the love of his life and he has yet to find a girlfriend. I would also like to get married one day but my main concern is Maddie. I sometimes wonder how Maddie would've turned out if I had given her up for adoption and I'm glad that I don't know because I don't know how I would've survived without her.

Jenna






My 17

My Pregnancy Diary/story

Hi, my name is Sydney and I'm 17 and pregnant. I'm going to start from the beginning with my ex boy friend named Derek. I met Derek in summer school of the first session of the summer, English. I really didn't find him as cute or interested of being in a relationship. I did notice that he did look at me a certain way and flirted with me a lot. I was nice enough to ask him to hang out one day with my friend(Abby) and get current boyfriend at the time(Cody). I guess it was a "double date" but I didn't really think any thing of it. He finally popped up the question to be his girl friend at Anti Anns (pretzels place) in front of my friend and her boyfriend. My friend(Abby) really wanted me too give him a chance but on the inside I really wasn't interested on going into a relationship at all. But I did say "yes" to give him a chance. I really didn't know the boy, that was my concern.
After we hung out at the mall we went too my friends(Abby) house too hang out. It got really awkward in the car ride because I made it awkward. I wasn't comfortable for a fact that I was dating him and I wasn't ready. When we got too her place he was trying to get settled in but I was making it difficult because I kept on distancing myself. That day was the first day he kissed me because I told him I wasn't sure and he told me that he wouldn't ask me out and keep on trying if he didn't like me.
So I did get to know him and his past of why he moved away from his home place. His biological mother was really poor with his little sister who lives in Pennsylvania. Derek lived with his grandparents who are abusive. Also Derek did have a addictive problem to alcohol and drugs, one of the huge reasons why he moved here(Fort Wayne, Indiana) so he could live a new and a better life.
I am what you call a person who loves too help people who are in need of help. I could see that he needed help and someone too show him that there's so much more in life and in the world then alcohol and drugs. I wanted too help him. As the time pasted and I started too know him better my love for him grew stronger. I started too grow head over heels for him. He showed so much love for me and told me every day that he wouldn't know where he would be with out me in his life.
Derek came to my cottage house for the first time for the Fourth of July, he met my family and my family met his family. It was so much fun and he spend the night. Even though there wasn't much too do at my lake we took walks, he sang too me his favorite songs, we both goofed around and I swear, every moment with him was a time too remember. The night of the forth when I came over too his parents house was amazing. I loved taking summer walks and sitting in the park enjoying the weather with him. Talking how much we were perfect for each other.
One day he was over and we were downstairs in my basement and he popped the question if I wanted too do it. He kept on asking the question when I said I wasn't sure. Then I sat there for a good 10 minutes thinking about it, and I finally said yes... But was very hesitant I did it anyways. Me as a stupid choice of my teenage life to make I choose this. I really didn't find it pleasurable the time or second time that we did it. I honestly wasn't ready. Too say I lost my virginity from my ex boyfriend(Derek). Through out the whole year we've done it so many times I can't even count how many times we've done it.
We were probably late in 3 months of our relationship in late September when I found out he cheated on me. I've never been cheated on and I was heart broken. He had sex with another girl and she knowing that Derek and I were together just made things worse. I was such a mess that week. That was a week of home coming(football) and I was invited too his family's open house. I didn't even know what was going to go down. The fact that she was the one who opens up too tell me this through a phone call after school broke my heart. During school that day before the phone call Derek was acting suspicious and didn't tell me what was going on and he was a bit jumpy telling me he loved me and know matter what don't believe anything that Abbey told me(the girl who he slept with) and saying that she's making up rumors so that we would break up. Knowing me I was just ignoring it and went on with my day.
See Abbey was in my child development class and I had her number of course. She texted me that day too get too my locker before Derek did(we shared the same locker) because she had a note for me too read. I got too the Locker and the note wasn't in there. That was until after school I did get that call and Derek already went home. After that phone call I called Derek and he was speechless. I cried the whole time until I got picked up and I was quiet the whole time of the car ride home from my mom.
Went right straight to my room and balled my eyes out. Derek didn't talk to me ever since I called him after Abbey gave me the heart breaking call. I finally gave in and texted him that we needed too talk. I decided to FaceTime him so I knew by his face it was true. I wanted too know right then what happened. It was true, he confessed and he did cheat on me. I was balling my eyes out and I could believe what I was hearing. I gave him everything. I was nice to him, I was there when he was lonely. I talked too him when he couldn't take it anymore and wanted too drunk or something. I didn't get it and I was confused about it and left very empty. The next day of school I awkwardly went too my locker and meet him there. We both didn't want too look at each other. He gave me one look when he got to the locker and the last look once he cleaned out his locker with my books and gave it too me. I was hoping too talk about it and make up for it, but instead I walked away not making any eye contact and went too the bathroom and cried. I knew I wouldn't be able too focus and I was so heartbroken I couldn't handle it. I finally went to my class room and didn't make any eye contact with anyone. I could nearly talk too anyone because one single word I would end up balling my eyes.so as I got up too talk to the teacher to be excused too go to the Counslor I almost cried then. I was in the guidance counselor for a good solid day minus two classes.
Since Abbey was in one of my classes I finally got the cups to tell her to go to the kind of comes with me so we could talk this out. We both cried out to tell each other what we felt and what we were going through at that moment. And also what lesson to be learned. We finally brought her in for those two to talk, they were both angry at each other and they couldn't even look at each other in the eye. I was sitting there awkwardly too see if they would make up but they didn't. They were both too pissed too say a word too each other l. When they did it was something negative. I really just could Believe a situation I was in at that moment. Then I excused Abbey so me and Derek could talk. As much as I was heartbroken at that time, I still loved him with all my heart and I still have so much passion and the that he is better that what he did, I gave him a second chance. By the time that I got done talking to him was the end of the day and the bell has wrong for dismissal. About the whole senior hallway knew about the whole situation.
You have too know that I went too a small private school and everything went fast around the school especially since everyone has iPads and iPhones.
Since I was invited too Derek's parents open house and I already said I was going, I was debating if I actually wanted too go even though I gave him a second chance, I was still mad and angry at him. I went anyways and it wasn't that bad. But he did want too hold my hand and kiss me, I was still heartbroken of what he did before.(there was more too the story what they did, just Derek, Abbey and I know) I couldn't even kiss him with out thinking that Abbeys lips here on his. I wanted to cry everytime and I made sure that I was still mad at him and how heartbroken I was. He understood and we carried on through the night. It was a ok key night and for dinner his parents dropped us off downtown too eat at a pizza place, it was delouse! That night was actually fun even though I was mad at him. But there where those times where I thought he could be cheating, espcially with this girl named Skyllar... My goodness I don't even want to talk about her. There was so much drama between her and I but I only kept it to myself and Derek. He knew I didnt like him talking too her. But he did it anyways. They met on the night of Halloween. It was the biggest mistake too have them ever too meet.
But anyways about the week of the open house, Even though it was a bad week it was also one of the memorable ones. There were so many great times with this boy, like Indianapolis with his parents and grandparents at the colts game. So much fun and most memorable. So much fun. And let's not forget Chicago! Never will forget. Also the semi, we may have fought a little but that night he came over and.. Well... Yah *did things*.
As the days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months we have had our ups and downs. There were times where I felt that I couldn't make Derek happy which made me feel that I want good enough. I found myself in depression and too a point where we are both sad and can't help each other. I started too cut myself and he started too drink and smoke weed again I think... Everything turned... But we still went on and loved each other. At the end of basketball season he's started too act different and going to friends house that I don't even know and him going to party's. I was upset with him and upfront him. But he turned it around saying I don't trust him and that he was saying I think he was cheating on me again. I mean I did have too watch out again... I didn't want to over cheated on again.
As I said we've had ups and downs. New Years I came over to celebrate with him and his family. Over time I came too love his family so much. That night we've watched movies and hung out and... Did things that we shouldn't have been doing. But later and after the ball dropped we went back too his room and cuddled and did it some more. That's the night where I thought I could be pregnant and worried But I also thought I was over whelming myself so I just didn't think of it much u till my period comes.
So days go by and weeks go by and I haven't started my period. It's the end of January, me just getting my license, excited. Then I start too notice that my breast a very tender. One weekend I was over at my friends house(this was currently happening end of January and beginning of February) and I got drunk and so so so wasted. The next morning I was in terrible shape, I puked ever minute, I was sick about the whole week and I knew it wasn't right or normal. I couldn't even think about the smell of the look of alcohol or cigarettes or it just make me puke. The time I got back into school we've had so many cancelations and I was so weak at that time and shaky. I had too sit out on the benches. That was when things got suspicious of Derek and he was hanging out with people I didn't know. As the time went on and I haven't started my period Derek and I know deep down that I was pregnant but we both going to admit it. I got a bit worried and I stared to panic. We were both scared out of our minds. As Derek was a senior and I was a sophomore, we were hella scared. Since I got my license I told him I would take him home one day after school. We ended up going into the park parking lot and he wanted sex as I was scared out of my mind thinking mom knew where I was.( I was suppose to be at school and doing homework to get caught up) did you convince me to stay and he also told me that he knew I was pregnant and he was going to be there for me every step of the way and he said he would make sure of it. He convinced me to have sex in the back of the van.. Next thing you know the door opens and it's my mom. Derek and I had fear in our eyes and it was the most embarrassing thing I've ever been through in my life. I thought that was the end of it, my mom took the keys to my phone and took Derek and I too my moms car. My mom was screaming at Derek and I and both speechless. I never felt so embarrassed and humiliated in my whole entire life. I haven't even told my friends... I was so embarrassed.
Derek texted me and said he told his parents everything and the part that I was pregnant even though I didn't take a pregnancy test.
The next day Derek had too stay home because his parents were very upset with him of what he did. I was sad and lonely and went through the day. As for my house i was quiet and didn't say much unless I was asked a question. I told my mom that night I was going to go to be but she didn't like that answer and told me I was taking a pregnancy test. My mom knew something was up and explained why I was so sick the one week. (I never get really really sick) I refused and fried out too my mom I wasn't going to take a test and I balled my eyes out. After an hour of refusing I finally gave in and took it. She had me take the pee test right there in the bathroom while she wasn't looking and was there when the stick said... Positive...
It would have took minutes but for my test it was a matter of seconds it showed two lines of which meant positive. My mom and I were shocked. After that I really didn't have anything too say but my mom told me we were going to women's care center too get a pee sample to make sure this was accurate.
As for the next day Derek texted me that night he was going to show up at school. I texted him good morning and wondering were he was because I wrote him a note that night telling him that he's going to be a father of this child and I took a pregnancy test the night before. It was really odd for me because he never responded back and it was 3 hour and still wasn't at school.
Then The vice principal pull me out of class and took me to her office. I was a bit nervous because I thought I did something wrong. But As she told me I wasn't there because I was in trouble, I was was there too see if I knew where Derek was...
In my mind I was confused. she told me that Derek went on a walk that night and he took things from his room and ran away. She was wondering if I knew were he was. His parents were in the school earlier that morning wondering if he came too school too see me, but he didn't. I started too panic and I told the Vice principal that this was a wrong time to get this message because I just found out I was pregnant the night before and I was going to tell him that day.
I didn't go to the rest of my classes that day because I was crying the whole Ike and I wouldn't be able too.
The next day she called me in again and I wasn't in good shape because I still haven't heard from him. She asked the same questions and I didn't know nor heard anything. That's the day I finally called in a friend(Delaney) down so I could talk about this and inform her. She was the first one too find out. She talked in the office with me in and I was there the whole day of school. I was excused as a guidance excuse. I was such a wreck and my parents don't know anything yet.
The night I get a text message from Dereks phone saying its Michelle(his momish), that they have Derek and he's okay physically but not mentally. They were with him at the ER. I found out later that he did her own and annex and mixed it together and just so much drugs and alcohol in his system.
As the weeks go on pieces of the puzzle start to come together slowly. I found out (this was a night of a senior basketball game, I was a wreck) this girl Emma was with him. Long story short he told her that he cheated on me 6 other times with a girl. That night she wanted to leave but thirsty and he ended up drugging(putting something in her drink) basically sexually harassed her and telling "his buddy's" the guys who were his drug friends that she was Dereks girlfriend.... It was basically a date rape. I hated it because when I found out she was with him that night i found out every bits and pieces of the story that I didn't know and that she told me every little detail. He ended up leaving her medically damaged from .. Well I'm not talking about that and as for Derek he's getting his help mentally and he can't have my communication with anyone, including me except for his mom and his dad.
Derek's parents pulled him out of our school and I was just left hanging there. All through out the time I found out I was pregnant(which was beginning of February) I was in deep depression. I didn't talk to anyone. I wasn't happy and I was lonely.
I didn't even get to tell Derek I was pregnant. It was a day by day struggle just getting through school with out wanting not to go to the bathroom and cry. It was especially hard at the basketball games. I couldn't be a peppy cheerleader. I had not pep, no happiness and everyone knew something was wrong because I wasn't tumbling(I didn't feel comfortable tumbling) and I wasn't myself. I always looked down and when I was out doing a court cheer I put on a fake smile or not even a smile.
It was so rough. I didn't tell anyone. As says became weeks I tried too look at something too keep my mind off of everything. I finally opened up too my study hall teacher that was so much support and I talked too her when I was going to cry and she knew everything. I felt so comfortable around her.
Then I started to talk to this guy named Gabe because I found out that he was telling people about Derek. As you and I started talking I started to develop feelings for him and then next thing you know we both had feelings for each other. He made me happy and I thought you understood everything. Until he told me that there is a lot of things going on with his family and stuff and next thing you know he is with another girl. It makes me mad till this day that he did that to me and he said he wouldn't. After that I knew I am just done with guys until I'm actually ready and that's gonna be a long long time. And I can't go on with another guy if I'm still thinking about Derek. I thought about it and I realize that I was trying to settle into early because I want to get my mind off Derek. You have to understand Derek and I dated for about 7-8 months and he was my first. I know 7-8 months isn't long but we've gone through a lot of reality with each other.
But anyways as I start to open up will finally go over to my friend Abby's house and hang out over there. People there really supportive but I got angry for the fact that I didn't tell anyone there really. But it is what it is.
Derek's momish and dad I wanted to sit down and talk to me with my parents at Star Bucks. So we sat down and talk to them and they wanted to let me know that there cannot be there talk to with us. He was currently at the hospital and the only people who potassium is his parents and his doctor. So at the time his parents made his decisions and sat down with Derek and talked to him about this too. I told his parents that I'm having the baby. And that I want to give them a message that I still miss them and I love so much. I was confused at the time because I wouldn't know when I would see Derek again I still loved him so much and I still do to this today..... No matter how much he screwed up. But at the same time I feel betrayed and still heartbroken and hurt.
It's to the summer now and School is finally out. I am a bit relieved so I don't have to carry around secret at school just kills me every day just walking in those hallways not telling anyone. But as it is summer I get to sleep and chill and don't have to worry about people to judge me.
As I'm getting farther in the pregnancy I've noticed that I'm getting a lot more emotional and my stomach is getting a lot bigger. As it hits summer I was about 5-6 months and I really didn't show as much as I thought I would. But I have at the time was really confused and still have broken of the fact of Derek not being here for me. Till this day I haven't seen Derek ever since the day before he ran away and that was in the beginning of February.
As for now I am 30 weeks and five days pregnant meaning I am finally in my third trimester. If I haven't mentioned this earlier, I am putting my baby up for adoption which is super hard on me. I am giving it to my cousin who is super nice has two children who are boys and they have been wanting a child but they can't have anymore children. I know that this is going to be hard on me and it already is I honestly just want what's best for my baby. It's so hard because I am caring this child for nine months and giving it away and knowing I won't come home with my baby.
I also forgot to mention that we found out the gender was and it's a baby boy, they named the baby Kyrie Chaplin Sidney Walters. As the baby is coming soon I'm starting to feel about of movement and so much discomfort in my hips and my lower stomach. It's also the first because I have to pee all the time. I also recently got a job at the Antonio says the server and it is so tiring. I have pain in my hips now and my ankles get so swollen and I get so tired. I am noticing that I need naps and I'm getting tired so often now it's unbelievable.
I also have been very emotional throughout this whole pregnancy. I am really happy I got this job but it's just going to be so exhausting. I am going to Carroll high school for my junior year and I am not excited. I basically cry on daily and I really can't help that I just get really emotional about a lot of things. Which I personally have an opinion that I think that I should and have a right to be very emotional. I honestly don't know how I'm going to balance school the job and being pregnant all at the same time and giving it away once I deliver him.
This babies going to be reminding me of Derek so much.
I've thought about my future and where it's going to take me, if I ever would see Derek again. That is always going to be a Mistry in my life I will see him again. But honestly I just feel so abandoned from him brokenhearted. I never been so broken in my life. I also never had to make the hardest decision of my life. The days are coming closer for me to meet baby Kyri I'm excited but then again I'm really nervous. So that is what happening so far. I'm just dealing with a lot. Especially that I'm going to a school that I know a lot of people from the past and I went to school with them since kindergarten and done sports with them it's going to be hard.
But as I said I am 30 weeks and five days and I'm going to keep on writing every detail what goes on from now on. I am starting to talk to me baby which is bringing me closer to him. I've also thought that if he is in a good family that I hope he will and grow up to be very independent and strong in his life and make great decisions from what he learns from life. All I know is this is not the end and this is a start too reality. The start of making huge decisions that I never thought I'd make so early of my life.
Even though this baby was unplanned with the father not in the picture anymore, sadly. I have so much love for this child already it's really unbelievable. I never thought I'd have so much love for something I haven't even met yet except inside my tummy. He's going to be a great boy and I already love them with my heart. All I want is what's best for this baby. I just hope it gets better because right now I don't know how people go through this when they are a teenager.
I'm not even sure if my mom is allowed to do this but she is forcing me to sign papers for this Open adoption with my cousins. There's just so much that I have to deal with. I know 100% I do not want to drop out of school, I have a whole life in front of me, things that I want to do, places I want to go. I'm still a child myself and can barely take care of myself I want what's best. I have so much love child. I also don't want to have this child to grow up with no father in his life. I know I'm not going through this alone. Millions of girls out there or going through the same thing as I am but different stories. It's so sad. I don't think other people quite understand until they're in the same position as we are.


Sydney

Sydney






Don't regret a thing

Hi, I'm Emily and this is my story. I'm 19-years-old and I have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter who was born when I was 17. My husband and my daughter's father's name is Elliot. I've known Elliot since kindergarten and I've always had a huge crush on him. He was so good-looking, popular, and smart. I always told Elliot that I liked him and saw us getting married in the future, but he had no interest in me and brushed me off. When we were 12, things started to change; I found myself jealous when other girls flirted with him and asked him out, and Elliot hated it when other boys approached me and told me how pretty I was. I think Elliot started to notice how pretty I was becoming and was interested in being more than friends with me. After we finished the sixth grade in the summer of 2008, I was surprised when he made the first move by asking me if there was someone I liked and I said yes, and he knew right away it was him because my feelings for him have never been a secret. He continued to tell me that he thought I was pretty and wanted me to be his girlfriend, and I happily accepted.

From that summer to January, we dated and were inseparable and everyone thought we were a cute couple, but downplayed the extent of our romance as anything but a childish crush. We were each other's first kiss, went to school dances, and had went out a lot, with our parents accompanying us. After New Year's, Elliot and his parents were getting ready to move to another state. Both of us were sad but I took it the hardest because I was scared that I wouldn't be able to see him anymore and that he would find another girlfriend. Elliot calmed me down and we promised to call and email each other every day to keep up our relationship. I was there to say goodbye to him before he left. We kept true to that promise but after a few months, we started to drift apart. Elliot said he was too overwhelmed with the changes around him and asked me to give him some space. Although I was sad, I agreed and we went for a while without talking. We still talked from time to time until I found out his phone number and email were changed. I figured he got tired of me and wanted to move on. My friends and parents told me that I had plenty of time to find another boyfriend but it still hurt that Elliot didn't want to talk to me anymore.

When I was 15, Elliot moved back to live with his older brother after his parents died in a car accident and I was thrilled; I dated a few boys during the time we were apart but they never lasted long. Elliot was as handsome as ever, but he had gotten in trouble with the wrong crowd. He started drinking and fighting, and didn't pay much attention to me but accepted my offer to be friends again. There was a girl at school who was saying she was girlfriend, Wendy. I hated her and felt she was the one responsible for his problems. Elliot felt that Wendy was sleeping around behind his back, and as I was determined to make him mine, I followed Wendy and saw her kissing another guy at a diner. I called Elliot and told him to meet me there. He was so angry that he confronted her and broke up with her as she cried and begged for him to forgive her.

He wasn't sad, just mad, and said he always had trouble getting attached to people after what happened to his mom and dad. I said the same thing, since we broke up a long time ago. We went to his house and talked about all kinds of things. I told him I was sorry and he deserved to be with someone better than Wendy. He thanked me and I hugged him, and before we knew it, we started kissing. It felt a little weird but he told me how much he missed me and I said the same thing. We continued kissing and had sex in his bed. When we finished, we felt relieved and realized that our feelings are stronger than ever. After that, Elliot and I started dating and were always having sex, but were using protection.

Shortly after my 16th birthday, I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I told Elliot right after I took the test and he was shocked and scared. Once it all wore off, he took full responsibility because it was partially his fault I was pregnant. My parents and his brother were disappointed but supportive. When everyone at school found out, I got stares and nasty comments, and Wendy accused me of getting pregnant on purpose. Elliot defended me from her but his friends started filling in ideas in his head that his life would be ruined, and following their advice, he broke up with me and said he wasn't ready for a kid. I was devastated. My parents comforted me as I was an emotional wreck and his brother was so angry at him that he kicked him out of the house, and he had to stay with a friend. 2 weeks later, Elliot apologized to me and said he was scared but promised he would never abandon me. I forgave him and we learned to deal with the treatment at school. I remained an honor student and was determined to follow my dream in becoming a nurse, and I saw Elliot start to change as my pregnancy progressed. He dropped his friends, stopped drinking, started working and his grades went up. He waited on me hand and foot, and always talked to the baby, telling her (yes, we were having a little girl) how much he loved her. My mother and her friends put together a beautiful baby shower, and I received a lot of good wishes. When I was 7 months along, Elliot was in bed with me and talking to the baby when he suddenly asked her if she would be happy if he asked me to marry him, and I happily accepted.

I went into labor 3 weeks early and delivered a 6 lb. 1 oz. baby girl. We named her Emma Claire Garrett. She was supposed to remain in the hospital for a week for being a baby born that early, but the doctor said she was in good shape and let us take her home. I was completely in love with my baby and Elliot loved her the moment he laid eyes on her when she was born. He at times refused to let me hold her and insisted that he feed, change, and rock her to sleep. We had to remain in our respective homes until we graduated high school and moved into our own apartment. We were so happy to be able to live together and not shuttle Emma every weekend, and took the opportunity to get married in a small ceremony that same summer, with Emma right there with us. We moved onto college and are working hard to fulfill our goals and make Emma happy. I have never been so happy in my life that I got the boy I have loved my entire life who is now the most amazing husband I could ask for and we have the most beautiful little girl in the world.

Emily







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