It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.
My Pregnancy Diary/story
Hi, my name is Sydney and I'm 17 and pregnant. I'm going to start from the beginning with my ex boy friend named Derek. I met Derek in summer school of the first session of the summer, English. I really didn't find him as cute or interested of being in a relationship. I did notice that he did look at me a certain way and flirted with me a lot. I was nice enough to ask him to hang out one day with my friend(Abby) and get current boyfriend at the time(Cody). I guess it was a "double date" but I didn't really think any thing of it. He finally popped up the question to be his girl friend at Anti Anns (pretzels place) in front of my friend and her boyfriend. My friend(Abby) really wanted me too give him a chance but on the inside I really wasn't interested on going into a relationship at all. But I did say "yes" to give him a chance. I really didn't know the boy, that was my concern.
After we hung out at the mall we went too my friends(Abby) house too hang out. It got really awkward in the car ride because I made it awkward. I wasn't comfortable for a fact that I was dating him and I wasn't ready. When we got too her place he was trying to get settled in but I was making it difficult because I kept on distancing myself. That day was the first day he kissed me because I told him I wasn't sure and he told me that he wouldn't ask me out and keep on trying if he didn't like me.
So I did get to know him and his past of why he moved away from his home place. His biological mother was really poor with his little sister who lives in Pennsylvania. Derek lived with his grandparents who are abusive. Also Derek did have a addictive problem to alcohol and drugs, one of the huge reasons why he moved here(Fort Wayne, Indiana) so he could live a new and a better life.
I am what you call a person who loves too help people who are in need of help. I could see that he needed help and someone too show him that there's so much more in life and in the world then alcohol and drugs. I wanted too help him. As the time pasted and I started too know him better my love for him grew stronger. I started too grow head over heels for him. He showed so much love for me and told me every day that he wouldn't know where he would be with out me in his life.
Derek came to my cottage house for the first time for the Fourth of July, he met my family and my family met his family. It was so much fun and he spend the night. Even though there wasn't much too do at my lake we took walks, he sang too me his favorite songs, we both goofed around and I swear, every moment with him was a time too remember. The night of the forth when I came over too his parents house was amazing. I loved taking summer walks and sitting in the park enjoying the weather with him. Talking how much we were perfect for each other.
One day he was over and we were downstairs in my basement and he popped the question if I wanted too do it. He kept on asking the question when I said I wasn't sure. Then I sat there for a good 10 minutes thinking about it, and I finally said yes... But was very hesitant I did it anyways. Me as a stupid choice of my teenage life to make I choose this. I really didn't find it pleasurable the time or second time that we did it. I honestly wasn't ready. Too say I lost my virginity from my ex boyfriend(Derek). Through out the whole year we've done it so many times I can't even count how many times we've done it.
We were probably late in 3 months of our relationship in late September when I found out he cheated on me. I've never been cheated on and I was heart broken. He had sex with another girl and she knowing that Derek and I were together just made things worse. I was such a mess that week. That was a week of home coming(football) and I was invited too his family's open house. I didn't even know what was going to go down. The fact that she was the one who opens up too tell me this through a phone call after school broke my heart. During school that day before the phone call Derek was acting suspicious and didn't tell me what was going on and he was a bit jumpy telling me he loved me and know matter what don't believe anything that Abbey told me(the girl who he slept with) and saying that she's making up rumors so that we would break up. Knowing me I was just ignoring it and went on with my day.
See Abbey was in my child development class and I had her number of course. She texted me that day too get too my locker before Derek did(we shared the same locker) because she had a note for me too read. I got too the Locker and the note wasn't in there. That was until after school I did get that call and Derek already went home. After that phone call I called Derek and he was speechless. I cried the whole time until I got picked up and I was quiet the whole time of the car ride home from my mom.
Went right straight to my room and balled my eyes out. Derek didn't talk to me ever since I called him after Abbey gave me the heart breaking call. I finally gave in and texted him that we needed too talk. I decided to FaceTime him so I knew by his face it was true. I wanted too know right then what happened. It was true, he confessed and he did cheat on me. I was balling my eyes out and I could believe what I was hearing. I gave him everything. I was nice to him, I was there when he was lonely. I talked too him when he couldn't take it anymore and wanted too drunk or something. I didn't get it and I was confused about it and left very empty. The next day of school I awkwardly went too my locker and meet him there. We both didn't want too look at each other. He gave me one look when he got to the locker and the last look once he cleaned out his locker with my books and gave it too me. I was hoping too talk about it and make up for it, but instead I walked away not making any eye contact and went too the bathroom and cried. I knew I wouldn't be able too focus and I was so heartbroken I couldn't handle it. I finally went to my class room and didn't make any eye contact with anyone. I could nearly talk too anyone because one single word I would end up balling my eyes.so as I got up too talk to the teacher to be excused too go to the Counslor I almost cried then. I was in the guidance counselor for a good solid day minus two classes.
Since Abbey was in one of my classes I finally got the cups to tell her to go to the kind of comes with me so we could talk this out. We both cried out to tell each other what we felt and what we were going through at that moment. And also what lesson to be learned. We finally brought her in for those two to talk, they were both angry at each other and they couldn't even look at each other in the eye. I was sitting there awkwardly too see if they would make up but they didn't. They were both too pissed too say a word too each other l. When they did it was something negative. I really just could Believe a situation I was in at that moment. Then I excused Abbey so me and Derek could talk. As much as I was heartbroken at that time, I still loved him with all my heart and I still have so much passion and the that he is better that what he did, I gave him a second chance. By the time that I got done talking to him was the end of the day and the bell has wrong for dismissal. About the whole senior hallway knew about the whole situation.
You have too know that I went too a small private school and everything went fast around the school especially since everyone has iPads and iPhones.
Since I was invited too Derek's parents open house and I already said I was going, I was debating if I actually wanted too go even though I gave him a second chance, I was still mad and angry at him. I went anyways and it wasn't that bad. But he did want too hold my hand and kiss me, I was still heartbroken of what he did before.(there was more too the story what they did, just Derek, Abbey and I know) I couldn't even kiss him with out thinking that Abbeys lips here on his. I wanted to cry everytime and I made sure that I was still mad at him and how heartbroken I was. He understood and we carried on through the night. It was a ok key night and for dinner his parents dropped us off downtown too eat at a pizza place, it was delouse! That night was actually fun even though I was mad at him. But there where those times where I thought he could be cheating, espcially with this girl named Skyllar... My goodness I don't even want to talk about her. There was so much drama between her and I but I only kept it to myself and Derek. He knew I didnt like him talking too her. But he did it anyways. They met on the night of Halloween. It was the biggest mistake too have them ever too meet.
But anyways about the week of the open house, Even though it was a bad week it was also one of the memorable ones. There were so many great times with this boy, like Indianapolis with his parents and grandparents at the colts game. So much fun and most memorable. So much fun. And let's not forget Chicago! Never will forget. Also the semi, we may have fought a little but that night he came over and.. Well... Yah *did things*.
As the days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months we have had our ups and downs. There were times where I felt that I couldn't make Derek happy which made me feel that I want good enough. I found myself in depression and too a point where we are both sad and can't help each other. I started too cut myself and he started too drink and smoke weed again I think... Everything turned... But we still went on and loved each other. At the end of basketball season he's started too act different and going to friends house that I don't even know and him going to party's. I was upset with him and upfront him. But he turned it around saying I don't trust him and that he was saying I think he was cheating on me again. I mean I did have too watch out again... I didn't want to over cheated on again.
As I said we've had ups and downs. New Years I came over to celebrate with him and his family. Over time I came too love his family so much. That night we've watched movies and hung out and... Did things that we shouldn't have been doing. But later and after the ball dropped we went back too his room and cuddled and did it some more. That's the night where I thought I could be pregnant and worried But I also thought I was over whelming myself so I just didn't think of it much u till my period comes.
So days go by and weeks go by and I haven't started my period. It's the end of January, me just getting my license, excited. Then I start too notice that my breast a very tender. One weekend I was over at my friends house(this was currently happening end of January and beginning of February) and I got drunk and so so so wasted. The next morning I was in terrible shape, I puked ever minute, I was sick about the whole week and I knew it wasn't right or normal. I couldn't even think about the smell of the look of alcohol or cigarettes or it just make me puke. The time I got back into school we've had so many cancelations and I was so weak at that time and shaky. I had too sit out on the benches. That was when things got suspicious of Derek and he was hanging out with people I didn't know. As the time went on and I haven't started my period Derek and I know deep down that I was pregnant but we both going to admit it. I got a bit worried and I stared to panic. We were both scared out of our minds. As Derek was a senior and I was a sophomore, we were hella scared. Since I got my license I told him I would take him home one day after school. We ended up going into the park parking lot and he wanted sex as I was scared out of my mind thinking mom knew where I was.( I was suppose to be at school and doing homework to get caught up) did you convince me to stay and he also told me that he knew I was pregnant and he was going to be there for me every step of the way and he said he would make sure of it. He convinced me to have sex in the back of the van.. Next thing you know the door opens and it's my mom. Derek and I had fear in our eyes and it was the most embarrassing thing I've ever been through in my life. I thought that was the end of it, my mom took the keys to my phone and took Derek and I too my moms car. My mom was screaming at Derek and I and both speechless. I never felt so embarrassed and humiliated in my whole entire life. I haven't even told my friends... I was so embarrassed.
Derek texted me and said he told his parents everything and the part that I was pregnant even though I didn't take a pregnancy test.
The next day Derek had too stay home because his parents were very upset with him of what he did. I was sad and lonely and went through the day. As for my house i was quiet and didn't say much unless I was asked a question. I told my mom that night I was going to go to be but she didn't like that answer and told me I was taking a pregnancy test. My mom knew something was up and explained why I was so sick the one week. (I never get really really sick) I refused and fried out too my mom I wasn't going to take a test and I balled my eyes out. After an hour of refusing I finally gave in and took it. She had me take the pee test right there in the bathroom while she wasn't looking and was there when the stick said... Positive...
It would have took minutes but for my test it was a matter of seconds it showed two lines of which meant positive. My mom and I were shocked. After that I really didn't have anything too say but my mom told me we were going to women's care center too get a pee sample to make sure this was accurate.
As for the next day Derek texted me that night he was going to show up at school. I texted him good morning and wondering were he was because I wrote him a note that night telling him that he's going to be a father of this child and I took a pregnancy test the night before. It was really odd for me because he never responded back and it was 3 hour and still wasn't at school.
Then The vice principal pull me out of class and took me to her office. I was a bit nervous because I thought I did something wrong. But As she told me I wasn't there because I was in trouble, I was was there too see if I knew where Derek was...
In my mind I was confused. she told me that Derek went on a walk that night and he took things from his room and ran away. She was wondering if I knew were he was. His parents were in the school earlier that morning wondering if he came too school too see me, but he didn't. I started too panic and I told the Vice principal that this was a wrong time to get this message because I just found out I was pregnant the night before and I was going to tell him that day.
I didn't go to the rest of my classes that day because I was crying the whole Ike and I wouldn't be able too.
The next day she called me in again and I wasn't in good shape because I still haven't heard from him. She asked the same questions and I didn't know nor heard anything. That's the day I finally called in a friend(Delaney) down so I could talk about this and inform her. She was the first one too find out. She talked in the office with me in and I was there the whole day of school. I was excused as a guidance excuse. I was such a wreck and my parents don't know anything yet.
The night I get a text message from Dereks phone saying its Michelle(his momish), that they have Derek and he's okay physically but not mentally. They were with him at the ER. I found out later that he did her own and annex and mixed it together and just so much drugs and alcohol in his system.
As the weeks go on pieces of the puzzle start to come together slowly. I found out (this was a night of a senior basketball game, I was a wreck) this girl Emma was with him. Long story short he told her that he cheated on me 6 other times with a girl. That night she wanted to leave but thirsty and he ended up drugging(putting something in her drink) basically sexually harassed her and telling "his buddy's" the guys who were his drug friends that she was Dereks girlfriend.... It was basically a date rape. I hated it because when I found out she was with him that night i found out every bits and pieces of the story that I didn't know and that she told me every little detail. He ended up leaving her medically damaged from .. Well I'm not talking about that and as for Derek he's getting his help mentally and he can't have my communication with anyone, including me except for his mom and his dad.
Derek's parents pulled him out of our school and I was just left hanging there. All through out the time I found out I was pregnant(which was beginning of February) I was in deep depression. I didn't talk to anyone. I wasn't happy and I was lonely.
I didn't even get to tell Derek I was pregnant. It was a day by day struggle just getting through school with out wanting not to go to the bathroom and cry. It was especially hard at the basketball games. I couldn't be a peppy cheerleader. I had not pep, no happiness and everyone knew something was wrong because I wasn't tumbling(I didn't feel comfortable tumbling) and I wasn't myself. I always looked down and when I was out doing a court cheer I put on a fake smile or not even a smile.
It was so rough. I didn't tell anyone. As says became weeks I tried too look at something too keep my mind off of everything. I finally opened up too my study hall teacher that was so much support and I talked too her when I was going to cry and she knew everything. I felt so comfortable around her.
Then I started to talk to this guy named Gabe because I found out that he was telling people about Derek. As you and I started talking I started to develop feelings for him and then next thing you know we both had feelings for each other. He made me happy and I thought you understood everything. Until he told me that there is a lot of things going on with his family and stuff and next thing you know he is with another girl. It makes me mad till this day that he did that to me and he said he wouldn't. After that I knew I am just done with guys until I'm actually ready and that's gonna be a long long time. And I can't go on with another guy if I'm still thinking about Derek. I thought about it and I realize that I was trying to settle into early because I want to get my mind off Derek. You have to understand Derek and I dated for about 7-8 months and he was my first. I know 7-8 months isn't long but we've gone through a lot of reality with each other.
But anyways as I start to open up will finally go over to my friend Abby's house and hang out over there. People there really supportive but I got angry for the fact that I didn't tell anyone there really. But it is what it is.
Derek's momish and dad I wanted to sit down and talk to me with my parents at Star Bucks. So we sat down and talk to them and they wanted to let me know that there cannot be there talk to with us. He was currently at the hospital and the only people who potassium is his parents and his doctor. So at the time his parents made his decisions and sat down with Derek and talked to him about this too. I told his parents that I'm having the baby. And that I want to give them a message that I still miss them and I love so much. I was confused at the time because I wouldn't know when I would see Derek again I still loved him so much and I still do to this today..... No matter how much he screwed up. But at the same time I feel betrayed and still heartbroken and hurt.
It's to the summer now and School is finally out. I am a bit relieved so I don't have to carry around secret at school just kills me every day just walking in those hallways not telling anyone. But as it is summer I get to sleep and chill and don't have to worry about people to judge me.
As I'm getting farther in the pregnancy I've noticed that I'm getting a lot more emotional and my stomach is getting a lot bigger. As it hits summer I was about 5-6 months and I really didn't show as much as I thought I would. But I have at the time was really confused and still have broken of the fact of Derek not being here for me. Till this day I haven't seen Derek ever since the day before he ran away and that was in the beginning of February.
As for now I am 30 weeks and five days pregnant meaning I am finally in my third trimester. If I haven't mentioned this earlier, I am putting my baby up for adoption which is super hard on me. I am giving it to my cousin who is super nice has two children who are boys and they have been wanting a child but they can't have anymore children. I know that this is going to be hard on me and it already is I honestly just want what's best for my baby. It's so hard because I am caring this child for nine months and giving it away and knowing I won't come home with my baby.
I also forgot to mention that we found out the gender was and it's a baby boy, they named the baby Kyrie Chaplin Sidney Walters. As the baby is coming soon I'm starting to feel about of movement and so much discomfort in my hips and my lower stomach. It's also the first because I have to pee all the time. I also recently got a job at the Antonio says the server and it is so tiring. I have pain in my hips now and my ankles get so swollen and I get so tired. I am noticing that I need naps and I'm getting tired so often now it's unbelievable.
I also have been very emotional throughout this whole pregnancy. I am really happy I got this job but it's just going to be so exhausting. I am going to Carroll high school for my junior year and I am not excited. I basically cry on daily and I really can't help that I just get really emotional about a lot of things. Which I personally have an opinion that I think that I should and have a right to be very emotional. I honestly don't know how I'm going to balance school the job and being pregnant all at the same time and giving it away once I deliver him.
This babies going to be reminding me of Derek so much.
I've thought about my future and where it's going to take me, if I ever would see Derek again. That is always going to be a Mistry in my life I will see him again. But honestly I just feel so abandoned from him brokenhearted. I never been so broken in my life. I also never had to make the hardest decision of my life. The days are coming closer for me to meet baby Kyri I'm excited but then again I'm really nervous. So that is what happening so far. I'm just dealing with a lot. Especially that I'm going to a school that I know a lot of people from the past and I went to school with them since kindergarten and done sports with them it's going to be hard.
But as I said I am 30 weeks and five days and I'm going to keep on writing every detail what goes on from now on. I am starting to talk to me baby which is bringing me closer to him. I've also thought that if he is in a good family that I hope he will and grow up to be very independent and strong in his life and make great decisions from what he learns from life. All I know is this is not the end and this is a start too reality. The start of making huge decisions that I never thought I'd make so early of my life.
Even though this baby was unplanned with the father not in the picture anymore, sadly. I have so much love for this child already it's really unbelievable. I never thought I'd have so much love for something I haven't even met yet except inside my tummy. He's going to be a great boy and I already love them with my heart. All I want is what's best for this baby. I just hope it gets better because right now I don't know how people go through this when they are a teenager.
I'm not even sure if my mom is allowed to do this but she is forcing me to sign papers for this Open adoption with my cousins. There's just so much that I have to deal with. I know 100% I do not want to drop out of school, I have a whole life in front of me, things that I want to do, places I want to go. I'm still a child myself and can barely take care of myself I want what's best. I have so much love child. I also don't want to have this child to grow up with no father in his life. I know I'm not going through this alone. Millions of girls out there or going through the same thing as I am but different stories. It's so sad. I don't think other people quite understand until they're in the same position as we are.
Don't regret a thingHi, I'm Emily and this is my story. I'm 19-years-old and I have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter who was born when I was 17. My husband and my daughter's father's name is Elliot. I've known Elliot since kindergarten and I've always had a huge crush on him. He was so good-looking, popular, and smart. I always told Elliot that I liked him and saw us getting married in the future, but he had no interest in me and brushed me off. When we were 12, things started to change; I found myself jealous when other girls flirted with him and asked him out, and Elliot hated it when other boys approached me and told me how pretty I was. I think Elliot started to notice how pretty I was becoming and was interested in being more than friends with me. After we finished the sixth grade in the summer of 2008, I was surprised when he made the first move by asking me if there was someone I liked and I said yes, and he knew right away it was him because my feelings for him have never been a secret. He continued to tell me that he thought I was pretty and wanted me to be his girlfriend, and I happily accepted.
From that summer to January, we dated and were inseparable and everyone thought we were a cute couple, but downplayed the extent of our romance as anything but a childish crush. We were each other's first kiss, went to school dances, and had went out a lot, with our parents accompanying us. After New Year's, Elliot and his parents were getting ready to move to another state. Both of us were sad but I took it the hardest because I was scared that I wouldn't be able to see him anymore and that he would find another girlfriend. Elliot calmed me down and we promised to call and email each other every day to keep up our relationship. I was there to say goodbye to him before he left. We kept true to that promise but after a few months, we started to drift apart. Elliot said he was too overwhelmed with the changes around him and asked me to give him some space. Although I was sad, I agreed and we went for a while without talking. We still talked from time to time until I found out his phone number and email were changed. I figured he got tired of me and wanted to move on. My friends and parents told me that I had plenty of time to find another boyfriend but it still hurt that Elliot didn't want to talk to me anymore.
When I was 15, Elliot moved back to live with his older brother after his parents died in a car accident and I was thrilled; I dated a few boys during the time we were apart but they never lasted long. Elliot was as handsome as ever, but he had gotten in trouble with the wrong crowd. He started drinking and fighting, and didn't pay much attention to me but accepted my offer to be friends again. There was a girl at school who was saying she was girlfriend, Wendy. I hated her and felt she was the one responsible for his problems. Elliot felt that Wendy was sleeping around behind his back, and as I was determined to make him mine, I followed Wendy and saw her kissing another guy at a diner. I called Elliot and told him to meet me there. He was so angry that he confronted her and broke up with her as she cried and begged for him to forgive her.
He wasn't sad, just mad, and said he always had trouble getting attached to people after what happened to his mom and dad. I said the same thing, since we broke up a long time ago. We went to his house and talked about all kinds of things. I told him I was sorry and he deserved to be with someone better than Wendy. He thanked me and I hugged him, and before we knew it, we started kissing. It felt a little weird but he told me how much he missed me and I said the same thing. We continued kissing and had sex in his bed. When we finished, we felt relieved and realized that our feelings are stronger than ever. After that, Elliot and I started dating and were always having sex, but were using protection.
Shortly after my 16th birthday, I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I told Elliot right after I took the test and he was shocked and scared. Once it all wore off, he took full responsibility because it was partially his fault I was pregnant. My parents and his brother were disappointed but supportive. When everyone at school found out, I got stares and nasty comments, and Wendy accused me of getting pregnant on purpose. Elliot defended me from her but his friends started filling in ideas in his head that his life would be ruined, and following their advice, he broke up with me and said he wasn't ready for a kid. I was devastated. My parents comforted me as I was an emotional wreck and his brother was so angry at him that he kicked him out of the house, and he had to stay with a friend. 2 weeks later, Elliot apologized to me and said he was scared but promised he would never abandon me. I forgave him and we learned to deal with the treatment at school. I remained an honor student and was determined to follow my dream in becoming a nurse, and I saw Elliot start to change as my pregnancy progressed. He dropped his friends, stopped drinking, started working and his grades went up. He waited on me hand and foot, and always talked to the baby, telling her (yes, we were having a little girl) how much he loved her. My mother and her friends put together a beautiful baby shower, and I received a lot of good wishes. When I was 7 months along, Elliot was in bed with me and talking to the baby when he suddenly asked her if she would be happy if he asked me to marry him, and I happily accepted.
I went into labor 3 weeks early and delivered a 6 lb. 1 oz. baby girl. We named her Emma Claire Garrett. She was supposed to remain in the hospital for a week for being a baby born that early, but the doctor said she was in good shape and let us take her home. I was completely in love with my baby and Elliot loved her the moment he laid eyes on her when she was born. He at times refused to let me hold her and insisted that he feed, change, and rock her to sleep. We had to remain in our respective homes until we graduated high school and moved into our own apartment. We were so happy to be able to live together and not shuttle Emma every weekend, and took the opportunity to get married in a small ceremony that same summer, with Emma right there with us. We moved onto college and are working hard to fulfill our goals and make Emma happy. I have never been so happy in my life that I got the boy I have loved my entire life who is now the most amazing husband I could ask for and we have the most beautiful little girl in the world.
It Gets BetterHi Readers,
My name is Jordan Carter, and I got pregnant at age 16. I come from a rich and proper family, and back then, I was sick of it. I was very rebellious, however I was a perfect student and Ivy-League bound.
The father is my (then)boyfriend, Evan. He was also an Ivy-League bound, straight A student. We were very close. One day after school, my parents weren't home, and even though Evan and I were waiting, we had sex. We were so caught up in the romantic moment, we forgot a condom. Whoops.
In a few weeks my breasts started to get tender and I threw up every morning for 2 weeks. I got a bit suspicious then, remembering that night between me and Evan. When my period was a day late, that's when I started to worry. I called my best friend Shelby, and we went to Walgreens to buy a test. About 1 minute after the 3 pink lines appeared, I called Evan, sobbing. He was so supportive. Our parents weren't.
I remember sitting on the stairs with Evan, hand on my tiny bump. We were listening to our parents decide that we were going to get married. Evan was totally okay with that idea. But not me. Right there, I decided to get out of there.
Long story short, I live alone with my beautiful daughter, Rylee Reese Carter. We're best friends, and she will be 16 in a few weeks. It's her dream to go to Harvard, and she's a perfect student. I have a steady job and I couldn't be happier. I'm single, but Evan is still a part of Rylee's life. No regrets.
Lot's of Love From,
Jordan and Rylee
A blessingAfter reading some of the stories on this site, I've decided to tell my story of being a teen mom. I was 17 about to turn 18 in two months in Nov. 2002. I went out to a party with a friend and I started talking to this guy who was 19. We had so much fun together and I ended up leaving with him and going to his apartment, where he lived with one of his friends. We continued talking and I really liked that he listened to everything I said. We started making out and ended up having sex, even though we both said we wouldn't go anything further than kissing and touching. The next morning, I had to leave and he kissed me and said bye, but I believed I would never see him again. A week later, I found out from my friend that he started dating my ex-best friend and she knew what had happened between us. I blew off and thought nothing of it.
Four weeks later, something seemed wrong with me. I wasn't feeling good and noticed that my period was a couple of days late. I told my mom and she said I might be pregnant and I said she was crazy. Still, she went and bought me a test, which turned out to be positive. I still didn't believe it and bought another test that said the same thing. I stood there looking at the two tests and cursed at myself. The next morning, I went to Planned Parenthood and the physician told me I was indeed pregnant and congratulations. My family was shocked when I told them how I conceived, but hugged me and told me that they loved me and my unborn child unconditionally. I didn't have the father's number (his name is Jeremy) so I had to get ahold of my ex-friend so she can give me his number. She started telling me how I was going to be a bad mom and Jeremy was going to hate me. I told her it takes two to make a baby. Two days later, Jeremy angrily showed up at my house and said he didn't think "it" was his. He didn't want anything to do with the baby and I said "fine, but you'll have to deal with the fact that you're a dad." He cursed at me and left, and I was amazed that I actually liked this guy a month ago.
My parents and friends surprisingly accepted the situation and understood my decision to keep him out of my child's life and not take him to court for child support. Carrying my baby for nine months and giving birth was the easy part. On August 18, 20o3, my beautiful daughter, Alyssa Jane, was born. It was wonderful to have my entire family there at the hospital to take pictures and bring her presents. My main concern was when the day came that I had to explain where her daddy was. She started asking when she was 3-years-old and I simply told her that he wasn't ready to be a daddy but he loved her. Shortly after her fourth birthday, she was constantly asking me why didn't daddy come to her birthday and how come he never visits. I finally gathered the courage to call Jeremy (who ended up marrying my ex-friend and had a son who is two years younger than my daughter). I told him I wasn't asking anything from him, only that he meet her and get to know her. He told me that he would meet her and apologized for not being there. They lived in Missouri and we lived in Arizona, and we talked almost daily and decided he and his family would come to Arizona to meet her before the holidays. When they finally met, I was in awe of how Alyssa never asked him where he had been, and only asked him what his favorite food, color, and music were. Jeremy came to adore her almost immediately after that first meeting and we made arrangements to split the holidays and summer with her. I was happy that Jeremy was interested in our daughter and he apologized for not keeping in contact with us over the years. I accepted his apology . Things were going good for two and a half years until his wife was fussing over the traveling expenses they were paying whenever Alyssa would come to visit. I was paying half of the expenses but it was still to expensive. I suspected that his wife was growing tired of the visitations and was trying to make him severe his ties to me and Alyssa. So, Jeremy started seeing and calling our daughter less and less. When Alyssa was 7, months had gone by since he last contacted us and she decided to call him. A few times, he didn't answer or hung up after explaining away his absence, leaving her in tears and begging for him to call her back. The last time she called him, he answered and was laughing like he was happy but stopped when he heard it was Alyssa on the phone. She started crying and I took the phone as he asked why I was calling in a "bad" time. I said it was Alyssa calling because she wanted to know why he hadn't answered her in the last few months. He said that he was too busy for all this and I shouted at him to just say he didn't want to be in her life that way I can help her move on without him and let him sign his rights away. After he hung up, I hugged my daughter and told her everything would be alright, but she knew I was lying. I was surprised when she said she hated her daddy and never wanted to speak to him again. All I could to was hold her and rock her as she cried all night. It broke my heart to see her hurt and I was not going to let him keep hurting her.
On Thanksgiving 2012, we were cooking Thanksgiving dinner before my parents and other relatives came when the phone rang, it was from Jeremy. Alyssa answered it and when she heard it was him, she handed the phone to me and made it clear she didn't want to talk to him. He started off by saying he and his wife divorced after he caught her messing with another man. He apologized again for not being there and he had been wanting to call for a while but was afraid how we would react. I told him that I would never forgive him for abandoning our daughter not once but twice and this was the last time he would ever contact us. I even changed my phone number to make sure we wouldn't have to hear him every time we answered the phone. A week later, I got notification that Jeremy had gone to a lawyer to get visitations with Alyssa. I never expected for something like this to happen, given that he has never been a major part of her life. We went to court and the judge heard both of our sides, and he even asked our daughter if she wanted to visit with our father. She said no and explained how she really felt about him. The judge said he believed things could be atoned if Jeremy had supervised visitations with her and allow them to rebuild their relationship. I was hesitated but I agreed to it, and allowed him to visit with her at my house on weekends for two hours. Bit by bit, he started to change into this attentive and caring father; he always brought her gifts and candy during their visits and played with her. Alyssa was starting to get over past feelings towards him. After a couple of months like this, I felt comfortable to let her spend the night with him and her half-brother. He started to get her every weekend and some parts of the summer and winter breaks. I can see the positive change in both of them and I am happy that my daughter finally has her father in her life. I thank Jeremy all the time for letting me vent about everything he has put me through. Although my journey as a mother is difficult, I learned that to help me through my struggles is to accept it all in. Things do happen for a reason, even if they don't make sense, but the love I have for my daughter is the one thing that keep me going.
My teen pregnancyI was 18 when I found out I was pregnant in June 2013. I was totally unplanned and I was shocked and scared. The father is named Ryan and he is a close friend of mine since the eighth grade. We never dated but always liked each other. During out senior year, we went to homecoming and prom together as friends. On graduation night, we went to an graduation party to celebrate with our friends at a nearby hotel. Ryan and I started talking about our plans to go to college and what kind of careers we had in mind (he wanted to be a doctor and I planned to be a teacher). Eventually, we got closer and closer and, after secretly getting a room, we had sex. Afterwards, we felt uncomfortable and decided to keep it a secret. A month later, I found out I was late and getting sick, and I took a pregnancy test that came out as positive. I was nowhere near ready to be a mother, I wanted to go to college and get my dream job, and I especially wanted to be married before I had a baby. When I told my parents, they were disappointed and I felt so guilty for letting them down. They assured me they loved me and will support any decision I made. For the first few months, I debated whether to keep the baby or give it up for adoption. I decided not to tell Ryan because I didn't want to make him choose between his goals or a baby by someone he didn't love. I still went to college and it was uncomfortable when people saw my bump and asked me the obvious questions ("what are you having?", "when are you due?", "what are you naming it?") I was almost certain that I had to give it up for adoption and made arrangements to meet with couples. The couple I chose were wonderful and treated me nicely but wanted me to tell Ryan so that he can sign his rights away. They asked me if I thought he would contest the adoption, which I replied "I'm not sure." They told me to call him anyway. I called him a few days later and told him that I pregnant with his baby and giving it up. He was shocked, not that he was about to be a dad but that I was decided to give it up. He and his parents met with me, my parents, the prospective adoptive parents, and my social worker to talk. He said he didn't think he could give the baby up and he wanted me to consider co-parenting with him. He admitted to me that his dad was his step-dad, and his real dad walked out on him and his mom when he was little, and he vowed to himself that he would never to that to his own child. At that moment, I realized that Ryan was going to be there for me and I regretted not telling him sooner, but he held no ill will towards me. On February 18th, 2014, I gave birth to our son (Christopher James). Ryan and me are still going to university and we both work to provide for our son. We are still friends and are dedicated to making sure our son has everything he needs.
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