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i just want one more child

Hello my name is Karen and I desperately want another baby. I found out I was pregnant and later found out the baby was in my tube when the tube ruptured. I was several weeks along when the tube ruptured. They said they have never seen a tubal last so long in the tube but it was growing high in the tube.

That happened about 3 years ago, and I have not been able to get pregnant since. I have other children but I want one by my husband who is a few years younger than me. We have been married for 7 years, and we don’t have the best insurance so it’s hard to get good help. I have been taking vitamins to help build my body up. I will be so thankful for any help I can get that will help me conceive. So many people around me are getting pregnant. I am happy for them, but it does hurt. I am sure it will happen in due time.



karen griffin

My ups and downs

Well where to start. I'm 19 years old, and my boyfriend and I have only been dating 2 months, and even though we were careful (I was on Birth Control and he used a condom) I still somehow got pregnant. Although I was absolutely terrified to tell him about it, I told him that night - it was Sat Nov 3rd. He was excited, and told me not to worry; that everything would be ok, and we would get through this.

So we started getting excited for our little one. Just to be extra sure we got another test done on the following Monday, and it came up positive as well. Everything was going great, I started eating a lot, feeling the sickness on and off, my breasts starting feeling full and sore, and I was following my pregnancy online with a calendar. Well then on Nov 16th while I was at work (I work in a Call centre) I noticed some light spotting (light pink and only when I wiped) so, panicking because this was my first pregnancy, I left work and my boyfriend and I went to the ER.

There was no OBGYN on call as it was a Thursday, so I saw just a regular GP. He did a blood test and it showed 2 things: that I was 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant and I was O negative blood type. So they gave me the RH factor antibody and sent me on my way saying that light spotting is normal and if it gets any worse to come back in. So Friday morning it worsens, we go back in, they did a vaginal ultrasound and I got to see my little "Bean", that’s what we started calling it.

There was no heartbeat but they said at 6 weeks it just might be too early. They took some more blood to measure my levels and sent me home saying not to worry. Well on Monday had to go back in to check my levels again, which was fine with me even though I HATE needles, I just wanted "Bean" to be ok. So the needles were done, and I was advised to call my family Doctor (my prenatal doctor was out of town at the time) for my results on Tues or Wed. So we called Tues, there was nothing, so we called Wed, only to find out from the Nurse who I’ve known my whole life and so has my boyfriend (we have the same family doctor) that my levels had gone down and I had lost the baby.

I was devastated, and then my boyfriend told me that he had lost a baby before we had gone out, which made me more upset thinking that it might be him. So later that day when I started to put a smile on my face again after talking about it for so long, my mother calls me to tell me that the nurse was wrong, that she had only had the test that was done on Friday and now that the new test from Monday was back it showed that "Bean" was still alive. I was shocked, upset, and 20 million other feelings at once. We still had our baby, so things went on for another week all fine and good. And then I started bleeding more, and cramping now too.

So for the next 2 weeks it was trials and tribulations with the ER. After 3 more ultrasounds, 4 vaginal ultrasounds, many blood tests, and finally some appointments with my prenatal doctor, at 9 weeks we lost "Bean". There was no heartbeat and the sac had collapsed. That was a Monday we found out, they scheduled me in for a D and C on Friday, and today I went to get it done. I turns out though that I passed the little one without knowing. My heart goes out to it, and I miss it more everyday, I never got to feel it move, I never got to keep a picture, its gone, and I feel so hurt, I can't even begin to explain my feelings....


Nicole

dream / nightmare

My husband and I finally decided to try and have a baby after we got married, but as luck would have it, we were unsuccessful. We began to see a fertility doctor and went through so many tests and still had no reason as to why we could not conceive. "Unexplained Infertility".

Anyways, 3yrs later we tried our first AI. It was a success! We were ecstatic! Words could not explain how happy we were. Our immediate family knew of our great news. My sisters even started to call my baby Kiwi. I thought that was so wonderful...soon my husband and I also started to call him/her Kiwi.

About 10 weeks into the pregnancy, I began to spot. I called the doctor to see if I should worry...she said if the bleeding persists or if I start to experience cramping I should go to the hospital. The next day, I had gone to work. The spotting didn't change and I didn't feel any cramps or abdominal discomfort, but I felt there was something wrong. I decided to leave work mid-day and go to the hospital. There, the emergency doctor examined me and said the cervix was still closed and that was a good sign, but there was a 50-50 chance that I could miscarry. My heart just fell...I could not believe this was happening to us. They scheduled an ultrasound the following morning to see what was happening. We went home that night and my husband and I were completely lost. We did not know how to comfort each other in words, but our hearts spoke a thousand words. We did our best to accept the worst, but nothing could prepare us from it.

That morning, just before leaving, I had gone to the washroom. All of a sudden I felt a heavy drop from my uterus. I knew then our Kiwi was gone. The bleeding became worse and cramping started. During the ultrasound the technician could not see anything.
We are still healing from our loss and it has been hard. Now we are ready to try, but we are both very anxious about the outcome. We both do not want to go through this again. But we were both very grateful for each other. The strength and support we gave each other through this miscarriage made us stronger as a couple and more determined.


gladys

2006 - A very difficult year

It transpires that I conceived our first baby of this year the same week that my Grandmother died. The week after her funeral (the day before my 38th birthday!) I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled - convinced that the new life my husband and I had created had come to replace the sad loss of my Grandmother.

Poignantly, I found myself in hospital being scanned on St Valentine's Day having experienced cramps and heavy spotting. I was referred for a further scan two weeks later where it was confirmed I'd suffered a missed miscarriage and was operated on the following day (10 weeks into my prengancy).

We started to try for another baby once my cycle had righted itself and found ourselves pregnant again in the late Summer. We were so nervous and sadly our deepest fears were confirmed when I miscarried again - this time 8 weeks into my pregnancy.

As I am nearly 39 years old and we have no children, we decided we would try again as soon as we could (again once my cycle had righted itself) and we recently found out to our delight that we were pregnant again.

I sit here writing this with an extremely heavy heart as, yesterday, I miscarried our third baby (6 weeks into this pregnancy). I cannot explain the pain, emptiness, anger, horror that I feel at not being able to maintain a pregnancy. The only saving grace (jf I can call it that) is that I will now be referred to a consultant specialising in recurrent miscarriage.

My husband and I have only been married for 2 years. We met late, neither of us has children and we very much want a family.

My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered a miscarriage. I have felt so alone until now - my husband has been a pillar of strength for me, but to read the experiences of others helps me reconcile my own feelings.

With best wishes to you all. I hope 2007 is not such a painful year for us all.

Lisa

My Angel Dawson

On November 26, 2006 my husband and I finally decided to go to L/D after two days of not feeling Dawson move. I was 36 weeks along and I knew something was not right. I had no complications in my pregnancy and was considered by my doctor as very low risk. When I arrived at L/D they hooked me up to the heart monitors and could not find Dawson's heartbeat. The nurse left the room and went to find a doctor to assist her.

Well 3 doctors came in after that with an U/S machine and started to search for the baby’s heartbeat. After what seemed the longest few minutes of my life one of the doctors turned to me and told me that he was very sorry but the baby had no heart beat and no blood flow. I was admitted to the hospital and they began to insert misoprostil into my cervix every 6 hours to soften my cervix.

On November 28 at 12:00pm I was dilated to 3cm and 100% effaced. They gave me an epidural and started pitocin and broke my water at 3:00pm the same day and I delivered our baby at exactly 6:00pm. He was 5lbs 2oz 19 inches long. He was beautiful! We still don't know what went wrong and we won’t get the autopsy back for another 4-6 weeks along with the baby's remains. I don't feel like I can start to grieve just yet because I have to relive everything over again in a few weeks. I hope to try again soon and I pray that God gives me the peace to be able to do so.


Kaleigh