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rest in God's dwelling place my Tshami

somebody pls do not wake me up to this awful dream i just had.i was 32 weeks(10/02/11) when i went to my follow up dr's appointment where we realized that Tshami was weighing to weeks behind.her heartbeat was still too strong and the dr said you have one active girl,he mentioned that she was playing with the cord and we should not worry.after 2 weeks we went to monitor her growth to be told there is no heartbeat.my world was shuttered at once,my husband drove me to my mother's house 200 km away when we got to the dr she was no more.rushed me to hospital&induced labour,gave birth to her lifeless body.she was very beautiful,looked like daddy.we buried her on friday 11/02/11.she was my second daughter,everyday i wake up wishing she was alive even born as a premmie but the ambilical cord ended my joy of motherhood once more.there is so much i wanted to do with her that i will never do,so much i wanted to say but won't say.i feel rather robbed.some say i must try again but emotionally and mentally no one will ever take my angel's place.she used to kick hard when her sister and i sang her 'twinkle-twinkle little star'.why did it have to be me?i won't see her 1st step,1st tooth,hear her 1st word,1st crawl all the stages of development.i wish someone can bring my Tshami back,she belongs with me.How am i expected to really say goodbye.how?my pride and my joy fly high and be an sweet angel looking down on daddy,mommy&your sister.what fustrates me is i never bleed nor had any complication and even pronounced dead i still felt her movement.Lord i need your help,strengthen me i pray.Teach me to let her go&let you be.this cut is too deep and unbearable.at times i want someone to blame but that won't help.Rest in His dwelling place

kuli

lost my angel when i was about to complete 5 month

I lost my on the 16 jan 2011. i still dont have any answers y it happened.excatly after completion of 3months i had spotting. showed the doc who said that its normal.as i was not happy with the answer i changed my doc who told me that my placenta was low lying and gave me injections to stop bleeding and als otold that placenta will go up on its own.then it stoped for a while so i decided to leave my job and take complete bed rest.so i did not have bleeding for almost a week and then suddenly it started again on 29 dec 2010 doc gave injections again but i was bleeding heavly.and this time it did not stop. doc said its normal did my scanning and internal check and said that everything was normal.but i was having pain in my abdomen with heavy bleeding. so went for a chek up again. he admitted me in the hospital i was checked for babys heart beat and my preure whole day. and at night did my scanning where they came to know that there was less water and the cervix was already dilated but my child was fine. and also that i wil have a miscarriage as the baby is deffective cause there is less water.and same night i lost my child.i am searching for answers what went wrong when i took all precautions.this was my 1st preganancy.now i am scared it might happen again.

Lavina

Losing our baby

It is not even three weeks ago that I gave birth to my beautiful baby son at 22 weeks. how I have got through the days that have followed is unknown to me. I feel as if the whole world should just stop and be at a standstill. Don't they feel my pain. The words of the song "Why does the world go on turning, why does the sea rush to shore" echoes in my head. Except the last line I've changed to "Don't they know it's the end of the world because you're not here anymore". we loved him with all of our hearts and all of our souls and we so wanted to share our life with him. Now instead we will be burying him on Wed along with all the hope, joy and dreams we had for our future with him. I love you precious little angel and I so wish we could have had you with us for longer. I will love you forever. (Sadly our beautiful baby boy had edwards syndrome and there was no hope)

Lavina

the pain never goes.

My baby son was born asleep 32 years ago in the 37th week of my pregnancy.I was 20 at the time. The gut wrenching pain that i felt at the time has never gone away but time has made it easier to cope with. No reason could be found for his death which left me feeling bewildered. The hospital asked if i wanted them to take care of burial arrangements and at the time i thought it was the best thing to do as my mum said it would be too much for me to deal with. nobody told me at the time that i could have hand prints or a lock of his hair and it grieves me still that i have nothing. I dont even know where my son is buried. I know i should contact the regester office but im afraid of what i might be told.

linda

Missing you my little angel

I am only 15 years old and on the 26th December 2010 my world got pulled from under my feet. Me and my boyfriend had only been together a month and a bit and didnt think anything of me being pregnant. When I started to bleed i was clotting really badly but didnt think anything of miscarrying because I didnt have a clue that I was pregnant. This clotting had went on for 1 week and then it all stopped and I just thought it was a bad period. The pains while clotting this bad was unbearable I couldn't even move an arm. I couldn't move off my sofa until 4 days later. On the 30th December I slept at my mates so we could get ready the next day for a party at my house on New Years Eve. The pain had came back and I thought I was going to be rushed into hospital. I took paracetamol and let the pain go away on its own. Just after the New Year I decided to go to the hospital for a scan to make sure everything was ok. They told me bits were coming off my womb and asked if i knew i was pregnant and my answer to that was no. That's when i told them all about my problems over the christmas. They told me i had lost my baby. I was only 1 month when i had lost my angel and its been just over a month now since i lost my baby. i still suffer so bad. i really wish i could have had longer with my baby but i have started a baby book were i write everything thats on my mind about my baby in it, this helps really well. i am going to stick in school and wait till i am finished college so i can get a flat or a house that is decorated before i make my family complete. to all the people out there that has had a miscarriage i feel for you's as i know how it feels and its not a nice thing to go through.

Tasha