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My Heron

My husband and I had not planned on having a third child, but it happened. At first, we were shocked, but then we began to look forward to making a family of five. We already had two strong, healthy boys.
At 13 week, I woke up to a rush of blood. Called the doctor and went in for a US--baby was fine. Strong heartbeat, everything looked okay.
At 36 weeks, I went in for a normal appointment and they could not find his heartbeat. Three different doctors did an ultrasound just to confirm, but he was gone. I had not noticed a lapse in movement...but there had to have been one. Even once they told me he was gone, I still felt movement.
I had a C-section, since my other two births were also C-Sections. Knowing you are going into the operating room to remove your dead son is something no one should have to do. I am so thankful for my husband, two boys and family. They give me the strength and courage to continue.
We buried our sweet Heron on January 19, 2009. During the service, a heron flew over the burial. Our little angle let us know he was watching.

For those who may ever have to go through such a horrible event, do take the suggestions of the doctors and nurses and hold your child. Take pictures if you can. Dress him or her in the clothes you would have brought him/her home in. We relish having those positive lasting memories of our son.

Alicia

My Angel In Heaven

I lost my baby just two weeks ago. My husband and I have three girls and where hoping for a Boy. This had to be it no more try's. When we found out that we where going to have a baby we where not to sure what to think. But as the days went by the joy for our new baby grew. I started out rocky bleeding in the first six weeks, off to the hospital and everything was fine. Put me on drugs to help keep the baby. Few weeks later the same thing happened more bleeding. So we called the doctor and had to go for an ultrasound and blood work, got to see the baby on the screen it was real the baby was alive. We went to Doctors appointments and heard the heartbeat. It was 147 strong and healthy. Then at about 18 weeks the same thing more bleeding and off to the ER. They did all of the same test and another ultrasound but this time there was not heartbeat. They told me that there would be no baby, and of all places to send me they put me on the labor and delivery floor. I was induced for labor and delivered my baby. We found out that he was a boy. we opted told him and name him. he fit in the palm of my hand and weighed about 2 oz. His name was Angel. My husband and i have had to deal with this loss and chose to have a memorial for him and had him baptized. I take everyday for what it is and know that I will have good days and bad days. But there is one thing that i know for sure, I will never go a day without thinking of my Angel.

rachel

What did I do that was so wrong to deserve this?

I found out I was pregnant on the 14th of this month (January). At first my levels were at 94 and were resulting in a miscarriage or an early pregnancy. I thought I was miscarrying 4 days after I found out. I went in the following Tuesday and my levels were at 140, they should've been at 180 but it wasn't exactly 48 hours. On that Friday they dropped to 68, and I went back yesterday and they're at 82. My doctor said it's not a normal pregnancy and it did result into a miscarriage. Tomorrow morning I'm having a d&c done. I'm scared. This was my first pregnancy, I've wanted kids for as long as I can remember. I had one doctor say I couldn't have kids, and my current doctor said it didn't look good.

What did I possibly do to deserve this? I have done nothing but cry when I found out I lost my child. I just found out I was pregnant and I was SO excited to be a mom.

Michelle

frightened

Hi,

I am having a very difficult pregnancy having been on bed rest for the past 8 weeks and heavily bleeding for the past 6 weeks, so much so that i have recently had to have a 3 pint blood transfusion. I am now 18 weeks pregnant and we went for a scan on Monday and have found out that there is no amneotic fluid surrounding the baby. We were told we are having a baby girl but she has blood in her bowel. if she does not die naturally, then the doctors will terminate the pregnancy in two weeks providing there is still no more amneotic fluid. I am completely devastated. I was wondering if anyone knew about the labour at this stage in pregnany and what to expect? will i produce milk after she is born?
Any advice would be deeply appreciated, Suzie x x x

Suzie

sad time

10wks pregnant & started to get pain & bleed, when the bleeding became heaver we went to hospital, where i was told, my urine test showed negitive, but i had done 3 tests all positive. They told me i must have lost baby up to 2 weeks ago, & the bleeding was just the end of the loss. We went home feeling numb, the next day my bleeding became stronger & clots, i was in alot of pain, for days after, after phoning my doctor this is normal i am told, still does not help with the way we are feeling, we were given no information, just left to deal with it alone.

jo