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to my surprise

I am 30 years old and have a 15 year old and and 8 year old child. both of them are from separate fathers. both of the fathers cheated on me. so i became a single mom.

I met a man that i have been with for 3 years now we have never spoke about marriage or anything in detail to be exact.we had gone on several trips and i messed with my birth control pills with his knowledge becasue i did not want to be on my period when we were traveling. lo and behold i was on the pill for a month and i stopped. thinking i would get my period 4 days past nothing. i did a test a work and it turned out positive.

i called my boyfriend i am thirty is sounds funny saying boyfriend but anyhow he vomitted. for the next week after i found out he cried was upset lost about ten pounds from not eating. i did not know what to do i felt so alone. here i had this great thing happen it wasnt expected but i did not want to abort it either.

the next week i started getting a crampy feeling. i went to the er they said i had an ovarian cyst but that the pregnancy was ok the cyst would go away on it's own. i was sad about not knowing if my child would have a father in his life but happy the baby was there. somehow or another i would make it.

my family knew i was worried they supported me and said no matter what happened they would be there to help. i went to see the ob/gyn two days later and he was in a hurry and just said dont drink dont smoke i will do a ultrasound in two weeks. i told him i started feeling this crampy feeling he said it is normal. i knew down deep inside it wasnt but I had never wanted to be wrong in my life so bad.

so i rubbed my belly everyday with my sadness of not knowing what would happened in my life, would i deliver alone or with a dad in the picture or would i spend my pregnancy alone. i had never had that happen my two children before were wanted and their dads thrilled to hear about having them.

5 days past last thursday i woke up and went to the bathroom and i saw pink streak on the toliet paper and my heart dropped i knew it, i knew it. i called the ob/gyn he wanted be to do a hcg-quant. test. the number dropped 1200 within 5 days. that day i did not feel pregnant anymore it was ok to lay on my stomach my breasts were not swollen.

the doctor told me i lost the pregnancy and recommended i have a d&c. i have never felt so alone, empty and i have no drive to do anything. i dont want to go on any pills my ins co wont answer so i can somehow get into a therapist.

to make matters worst my boyfriend has just moved on like nothing happened. he took me for the procedure he was great then. but the following morning he went to work and i have not seen him since. he calls me but has not come by just to see how i am. at moments i just want to crawl in a hole and die.

i have my children to live for and my family they have helped alot. but no matter what anyone does i cant bear this hole in my heart. i had already started making plans to find a bigger place, names, my due date marking my calendar. i made of list of things i would need for the baby and it is gone.

it is liked someone robbed my future worst of my baby.

carmen

miscarriage @ 10weeks

just wanted to share my miscarriage story.

on sept 11, 2007 what a day too i went to the doctor for my ultrasound and i was told that the baby heart was not beating, I was 10wks pregnant, first pregnancy, and it took my husband and i 5yrs to conceive, so this was very devastating for me.

Now i seem to find myself going into an emotional slump because i'm getting closer to my due date which wld have been in april, still have not conceived again since the d&c, i just can seem to try for 5 more years again.

kym

3 miscarriages

Hi, my name is flora i am 33 years old and i just had my 3rd miscarriage.

I did dnc on three of them.My 1st and 3rd mis.was a chromosomal problem.They did different tests to see the cause of it,but everything came up normal

the only thing that my doctor mentioned is one gene homocysteine and she gave me 4 mg folic acid.she does'nt think that is the cause of my mis.

I would like to have another child but i am afraid.

flora

so hard

hey i am zara i am 19 years of age. i was 9 weeks pregnant, but was showin very fast.! my family didnt know and i had not been with the dad of my wee baby.

at the start i was in shock at thinkin i was going to have this wee baby on my own. then my family had found out and told me i am not on my own........... i was then all excited 4 this wee baby to love me..!!!

the dad was told but he didnt want nothing to do with me or the baby, he then came around and we talked and he would be there for the baby.i found out on the 24 feb, but couldnt get it into my head. my family then started to notice and had asked me. so they all knew and was going to sort out doctors.

the day before my doctors appointment i started to bleed. i had been rushed into hospital and they took another test and felt my stomach and sent me home and told me to come back inthe morning for a scan. the bleeding had stopped.!!!

the next morning i was bleeding really bad but no clots. they took me for a scan and then took my blood at told me to go home and rest and they will phone me later and let me no how i was and my baby........i thought this wasnt right.

then at tea time that day they rang and told me i had lost it.!! i couldnt believe it, it had been another shock to me..i was really wantin it now and thought it would be a lovely thing to happen to anyone.

u dont think it would be as hard, cant believe i have lost this baby and i thought i would have good time watchin her/he grow up...
everything goes through my head, am i going to be able to want kids now. will i not be too scared to go through this all again. people say things happen 4 a reason but wat is the reason..??

Y does thing happen like this...??

just hopin who ever else is going through the same thing is keepin ok

zara mckeever

High Hopes

Hello my name is Melissa and i am 24,

It has now been two weeks since we lost our baby. This was our first pregnancy (unexpected) but still a great thing. It was two days after Christmas when we found out that i was pregnant it all seemed so unreal at first...reading the test that said positive...so i decided to take four more just to make sure since i had not gotten sick or anything like that. And all i remember is my fiance laying there with a smirk on his face (he was more excited than me at first)

We decided to let my parents and his parents know since we figured we were at least 8 weekes along. Both families were extremely supportive and excited ...but his father did warn us about having a miscarriage since he and his wife had had two before...we shrugged it off not thinking anything of it (it was still in the back of our minds but we were just to happy to care)

So we went to our first appt on Feb 1 where we got to see out beautiful baby move and hear the heartbeat...it was the most amazing feeling in the world we were on top of the world. So a few weeks later passed and we continued on with our lives. I went to work one Wednesday and just had the worst cramps ever...i shrugged them off just thinking it was like growing pains or something but when i got home and noticed blood...

i got worried my fiance told me to just lie down and take it easy but something felt wrong so i went into the emergency room where they decided to do an ultrasound...when they did it they did not see a heartbeat so yes it was confirmed my feelings were right something definitely was not right with our baby.

i went in and had a d and c two days later since the pain was too much. like i said two weeks has gone by and it has been the longest most dreadful time of my life...my fiance and i fight all the time over petty things that we never fought about before everyone says that it would be a tough time but i would love for things to go back to the way they were before...

i know we love eachother and plan on trying again in a few months but i deeply feel for everyone who has gone through this.

Mlissa

Melissa