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miscarriage at 6 weeks, didn't find out until 13 w

I thought I had got to 13 weeks, but it turned out that I had only got to 6 weeks, but had a missed miscarriage. I went into A&E after noticing blood, and that's when the scan confirmed I had only got to 6 weeks. A day later I had the most excrutiating pains, coming in contractions, I have ever had and so much blood. Very large clumps for about 3 days. I had to go back to the hospital to get stronger pain killers, and was told that sometimes miscarriage cramps can be worse than labour contractions (not the actually giving birth bit), I have no experience of this as this was my first pregnancy, so can't be sure. Luckily it only lasted for 3 days. Although I've spoken to friends who also had a missed miscarriage and she didn't get the pains. I keep telling myself that it was never meant to be and that it never differentiated into a baby, no heart beat etc, but I'm still finding it hard to cope unless I'm busy.
I hope anyone else who's gone through or going through this manages to cope with their loss. It's wierd I feel better now i've written this down. My love to you all.

Left vulnerable,lost and sad.

The Saturday before the nightmare, my mom and I were at my cousin's baby shower. It was after she already had the baby. I was holding my little cousin and all I could think of is how i can't wait to have a little one again. Yes, I do have a 20 month old named Jadyn who is the light of my life. I felt excited about the new baby. I was just shy of thirteen weeks and that Tuesday was my next Docs appointment. So that next day everything was going fine except for the last few weeks I was dealing with horrible migraines. That day my migraine was like no other and while Jadyn was napping and we were at the in-laws I layed down. I woke up a couple of hours later and I stood up and fluid just rushed down my legs. From then on it was all down hill. I continued to bleed profusely. So, my husband took me to the E.R. per my doctor. I was waiting for 45 mins. I lost so much blood that my blood pressure went 70 over 50. Once they hooked me up to 2 I.V.'s and got my blood pressure up, they gave me an emergency dnc to stop the bleeding. After the surgery, I had to have a blood transfusion due to the blood lose and stay over night in the hospital.

I was very calm and collective during this whole situation. This is how I normally react to stressful situations. So, the day after when I had to say it out loud that I had a miscarriage to my boss, I lost it. I feel so vulnerable, lost and very sad. I felt so vulnerable because my emotions were on my sleeve, so visible. That's not how I am. I try to reason things and try to tell myself it will be ok but I go back to the baby shower when I was looking forward to holding my baby. I remember while in the hospital all I could think about is seeing Jadyn. It's been three weeks almost and I still can't sleep much but talking about the day I miscarried I don't always get so emotional. My husband wants to wait at least a year to try again but I don't want to. So many people were pregnant with me. I'm jealous of those who get to have healthy babies. I feel I'm getting better but then I think of how hard it's going to be around the due date. I did get something positive out of this horrible experience, my husband and I are closer. Also, I appreciate that I still have a beautiful daughter at home.

Sydney

Worried this time around

I found out I was pregnant right after I quit my job to stay home and take care of my 2 year old daughter. My husband and I weren't planning on having another baby for a while, so I was upset that I was pregnant and we were going to struggle with money for a while. Everything with the pregnancy was going well, just like it did with my daughter. Then one evening, after I used the restroom I noticed I was spotting a light pink color. I called the nurse at the doctors office and she said it was normal and to take it easy. Well, the spotting continued and I made an apppointment a couple of days later. The doctor checked me and said everything was fine. I was about eighteen weeks at this point. About a week later, I woke up in the middle of the night with a wet spot on my bed. I woke my husband. I wasn't in any pain. I didn't have any cramps and I wasn't bleeding any more than I had been. I called the nurse the next day and she said I probably urinated but to come in just in case. The baby's heartbeat was strong and they did a test to make sure I was leaking amniotic fluid and that came back negative. The doctors made me beleive that everything was going to be ok. Well, I kept "leaking" fluid, most of the time while I was awake so I new I wasn't urinating. After about two weeks of this, they decided to do an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid. The fluid was low and I was stupid enough to ask if it was a boy or a girl. A boy! I was so excited. I picked a name and everything. I didn't think anything was going to happen to my baby. I went for another ultrasound a week later, and the doctor gave us the devistatiing news. There was no way the baby was going to survive. I had been, after all, leaking amniotic fluid. The doctor said that the baby would probably pass on his own and I would start having labor. The very next morning, I got up to use the bathroom and after I was done relieving myself I felt the umbilical cord. It was happening. My baby was dying. I was rushed to the hospital and they induced labor. My baby still had a heartbeat and we begged the doctor to help our baby. He said there was nothing that could be done. After about 10 hours, I delivered my son. His heartbeat had stopped about 6 hours into labor. That is the worst thing any woman can go through, losing her baby.

christy

my angel no more

i had just started my 7th wk and my husband and i were exstatic to be pregnant we had tried for 2 yrs and it had finally happened. on the 2nd day into my 7th wk i started having vaginal bleeding similar to a period that started and stoped every hour or so. concerned i went to the emergency room they did an ultrasound and a inside search by hand they said everything was perfect everything was closed and that all was good. that i may have even been a further along than first thought because she could see the heart beat on the ultra sound she showed me the baby and then she resheduled my heartbeat appointment for the next day (3weeks earlier than originally planned) the next morning i walked in to the docters office i was so happy that my baby was ok and the docter had told me that everything was going to be just fine. that i shouldnt have a miscarriage. but when the docter did the ultrasound he couldnt find the baby so he use the vaginal one and still no baby he announced that i had had a misscarriage and that he was sorry and they had grief councelers down the hall for ppl that had miscarriages he said it but i could tell that he truly didnt care one way or another. we are trying again but i dont think that we will achieve the goal because he leaves next month for iraq

nicole

Our Angel

First of all I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has posted stories. I fould this website last night and it has been a great help to me to read that what I am feeling is normal.

My husband and I tried for 4 months to get pregnant and finally I was. We have a 5 year old boy and were ready for our second. I had problems with this pregnancy from the beginning. I bled the entire time but everything was always fine with the baby. I felt that I could deal with bleeding the entire time as long as the baby was okay.

At about 15 weeks I started having severe back pain and my doctor sent me to the maternity ward at the hospital. An ultrasound was done and the baby was fine. My doctor seen me the next Monday and we had an ultrasound. Everything was fine with our little baby and it was growing normally. He thought I had veins on my cervix that were rupturing due to my previous delivery, which was difficult. A week later I started having severe back pains again. I went home and went to bed and thought it was the veins again. I woke up early the next morning and felt different. I went to the restroom and my baby just fell out. Fortunately, my son was at my mother's house so he was not home to hear me scream. My husband and mother contacted my doctor who sent me to the maternity ward again. They did an ultra sound and confirmed that I no longer had a baby inside me. However, not all of my placenta had passed. They put me in a delivery room and adminstered medicine directly into my cervix that would cause me to dialate and have contractions. I had to push the rest of my placenta out. It was a horrible ordeal and something my husband and I will never forget. I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time. The hospital staff and nurses were great. My doctor also arrived at the hospital to be with me while I had to deliver the placenta. I had had a placenta abrubtion. Unfortunately, there is really no way to tell this is the reason that a pregnancy is in jeopardy until after the placenta is examined. I have read several websites that this is extremely rare to happen again, but still I am nervous about trying again. My doctor suggested waiting for 3 months to try and get pregnant again, but I feel an urge to get pregnant right away. Not that I want to replace the baby we lost.

Some literature was given to me at the hospital which helped both me husband and I deal with this. It is perfectly normal to be devasted by this loss as it is to not grive at all. I felt all along in my heart that something was wrong with this pregnancy and that I might miscarry but it did not prepare me for it happening. I have not been able to return to work yet, as I work with several women who are pregnant and I don't want to see their growing bellies. My husband, mother and doctor have been very supportive during this time and my doctor has signed me off work for several weeks.

I know that this is devasting time for women and hope that someone will take comfort in reading these stories, as I have. I know that someday I will get pregnant again and I only pray that it will result in a healthy baby.

Lisa