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I had no symptoms

After almost 2 years of trying to conceive, my husband and I found out they we were pregnant on April 22. I was feeling great, on cloud nine. I had some of the usually 1st trimester signs, tender breasts, tiredness, but other than that I was fine.

Well, last Friday I went in for a routine ultrasound only to discover that my baby wasn't alive. There was no heartbeat or blood flow. I was devastated. I was so upset they just let me leave from a back door. All weekend I had to live with the fact that I was carrying a baby that was not going to be born. Yesterday I ended up having a d & c.

Now I just feel so depressed and empty. I can't stop crying. The doctor told me that we could start trying again in 2 months. That seems so long from now. I am so afraid that the same thing will happen again and I don't want to go through that. No woman should have to experience this pain.

I am trying to be positive but I have so many unanswered questions. I need support from others that have experienced this!


Sarah

No one prepared me about seeing it

No one told me what to expect when it passed. My baby was six weeks old.

My ob/gyn didn't tell me what to expect, the er doctor didn't tell me what to expect. I was sent home after er visit.

I wished I were more prepared for "her". I wish someone told me it would be solid. Thank god the sac was wrapped still and I couldn't see it.

Doctors should have told me what to expect. I was scared.

Joanne

our first try

Me and my husband found out in March we were expecting our first baby. All the usual emotions happiness, worry, and excitement overcame us. I suffered really, really badly with sickness and it was all day, but everyone told me that this was a sign of a healthy strong baby.

Since day 1 I had always had a feeling that something wasn't right, although there were never any signs to make me think this way, perhaps its just female intuition.
At nine weeks and 1 day I had my first scan, my husband couldn't make it so my mum came. My husband and I said that it was the second scan that was most important for him to be at where we could see if we were having a boy or girl. When I was being scanned the radiographer began asking me if I had any problems, signs of bleeding etc. I hadn't but I knew instantly something was wrong. She told me what she was seeing and that my baby didn't have a heart beat.

The baby was the size of a 9-week pregnancy; I was 9 weeks and 1 day. The shock didn't come for a few minutes until I realised I would have to go home and I was no longer pregnant.

I went in for surgery the next day to have the baby removed. That was a week ago now and although I still think about things a lot I am doing OK. We talked for hours, probably days to come to terms with it. I know its what everyone says but I believe this was my body’s way of telling me something was wrong. I wish so badly that there was nothing wrong but after reading pages on this website it helped me realise that no matter what you do or don't do if its going to happen then it will happen.

We are going to wait a while now before trying again, we are both young and not in a rush really. I need to be ready both physically and emotionally if I am going to go through that again. My husband also found it very difficult, as he had to watch me in pain and go through surgery, he felt completely helpless. I am so scared that it will happen again, or something worse will happen next time and I may never have children of my own. I suppose the only way is to be strong together and try again and see.

My only advice to anyone who wants it really is to be strong together, time is a great healer.


Joanne

Don't understand

I went to my first doctor's appointment on May 3. The doctor told me that I was 6 weeks pregnant and that I had a blood clot behind the placenta. She assured me that everything would be fine, and that I would continue to see some bleeding. She said as long as I did not see heavy bleeding or clotting that I should be fine.

I went to my first prenatal appt. on May 14 and a different doctor told me that my baby was dead. The ultrasound technician could not find a heartbeat. This is the second time I miscarried. It took me over two years to get pregnant with this baby.

I am really upset, and hurt. I did everything to ensure that this baby would be alright but yet I feel like I failed.


Danielle

Coming to Terms with Failure

Two years ago we decided to try for our second baby - the first, a girl, was two years old and beautiful. Blessed with immediate conception we crowed about our high fertility levels and enjoyed the ride. I felt great. Thirteen wks into the pregnancy I miscarried. It was hell and though not a 'crier' I absolutely howled. Doubt and guilt and shame at my failure overwhelmed me but everyone just kept saying 'it was meant to be' and 'it's so common, don't blame yourself...' etc. I wanted to hit them.

We waited three months and tried again: immediate conception again. Then miscarriage. Approximately every three months since then I have fallen pregnant and subsequently miscarried within weeks. I have just had a sixth miscarriage.

Throughout this journey I have harassed doctors for help but until the 4th M/C all I heard was the same old comments, I was made to feel like a stress-head and told to relax. The most unbelievable comment was that I 'shouldn't bother testing for pregnancy until at least 8wks - to avoid disappointment!'

Finally I lucked upon a GP who was appalled by what I'd been through. He referred me immediately to a specialist in recurrent M/C. This specialist was a delight who actually took as long as I needed to explain to me all the possible causes and all the tests we would do. We have since found I have APS - antiphospholipid syndrome - which causes a thickening of the blood and basically attacks the placenta. We have tried low dose aspirin with little success but at least now I know what's happening and importantly, I can most likely avoid dying of a stroke in the near future and thereby actually get to see my one beautiful child reach adulthood.

Moral of the story: Keep hassling doctors until you find one who cares - you are the only one who knows your body and if you feel 'wrong', you are right.


Georgia