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Lost our angel

I lost my baby only a couple weeks ago and I still cannot stop thinking about it. My hubby and I were so excited to be entering into the 2nd trimester of pregnancy with our first child. We had tried for 7 months to conceive which seemed so long to us but really isn't I know now.

During my pregnancy, I had fears of miscarriage but did not focus on them. Looking back now I wonder if I knew this was going to happen to me... because I had the strange feeling that I was too lucky and would not make it through. So 2 days before I was 3 months pregnant and we were going to share it with the world, I started bleeding. Ultrasound confirmed a live baby and we were sent home to rest.

Soon after I was back in the hospital with severe bleeding and cramping. After 3 days of agony, in and out of hospital, it was finished; I was no longer going to be a mommie in Nov. I went through the miscarriage naturally, almost holding onto my pain as my last resort to being close to the angel that I lost.

Now, things are normal all around me and yet I feel as though I am consumed with the loss. I worry about getting pregnant again and then I worry about losing another one. Can I fall in love with another baby and go through this again? I am so scared that I find it hard to feel like trying again.

I have great joy that I actually did carry a baby for 3 months... and that I can conceive but now I am so scared to start again and face loss again. I keep asking God what he has in store for me.


Jenn

For all the little angels

The fact that you are falling pregnant is still a good sign, as I miscarried four years ago and just managed to fall pregnant again now.

I am now 17 weeks and going good; just have a little faith in yourself. I know it is not much fun to hear but when that right bub comes along it will fight to stay with you, instead of you fighting to keep it.


Lu

i feel so empty and alone

I am 38 years old and I lost my baby last week. I went to the doctors when I was 15wks and 4 days to have a comprehensive ultrasound and the dr was rude and he said I was too early for the ultrasound and to come back in 3 weeks.

When I went back I was 19 weeks pregnant and they could not find her heart beat. The dr said by the measurements my baby's heart stopped when I was about 16 weeks pregnant. I keep going over everything I did; what I did wrong. I had to be induced to have my little girl. I got to hold her and name her.

It’s so hard for me to let go. Everyone says move on, it’s been 11 days now, get over it. How do I get over Kaylee Ann when I loved her so much and still do? I hate being by myself. I just cry a lot. After I had my baby a nurse came in to ask, "where is your baby? I am here to do a hearing test on her". I just sat there numb and said my baby passed away. She just walked out of my room

I remember every moment in that hospital it keeps playing over and over in my mind.


lisa schrader

Miscarried twice

I became pregnant back in early October 2006 and had my first miscarriage two days before Thanksgiving 2006.

I became pregnant a second time in March 2007 and had my first appointment scheduled. I was so excited about being pregnant and was looking forward to the Dr's appointment. I never made it successfully pregnant to that appointment. I ended up miscarrying again. This just happened last night.

Even though I was a little over a month along- it's still hard on me. I just have sooo many questions as to why???? I don't understand. I'm very saddened by these two losses.

I'm worried that this could happen again.


Reina

all hope is gone

I wanted to update my story. I was waiting for symptoms of miscarriage to begin, after being told the drs could not find a heartbeat. It was the second time in a little over a year that I was having to endure this pain. I thought I was devastated last time!

I began to bleed 2 weeks after the scan that told me I was going to lose my baby. To begin with I still believed it was nothing more than a little spotting, how wrong I was! I began having contractions on 29th march. They got steadily worse throughout the day, by 4pm I was in agony (and scaring my children, due to the screaming). I phoned my dr who told me to go straight to the hospital where they would do a d&c.

My husband and I arrived at the hospital and were informed by a nurse that the dr would be as quick as possible but that it was very busy in the delivery ward! (Very tactful!) I lay there in agony; I was not offered any pain relief, had I been in labour I would have been given it as I walked through the door! The dr soon arrived and gave me an internal exam, he told us that the amniotic sac, complete with embryo had got stuck in the neck of my cervix, and he would need to remove it. He did so whilst causing me extreme agony.

It has been three weeks 5 days since and I am trying for the sake of my husband and my three beautiful children to focus on the positives. I spend half my time thinking about getting pregnant again, and the other half dreading getting pregnant again.

I am absolutely convinced that if I fall pregnant again it will end in miscarriage! I have no hope left.


caroline