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Babiesss

Yesterday afternoon I was at the doctor's office being told congratulations. This morning I woke with a headache and cramping. Then, along came the bleeding and more painful cramping.

Twice this year I have experienced spontaneous miscarriages and the emotional pain that accompanies and now a third. My doctor attempted to schedule an emergency ultrasound to no avail today so tomorrow my husband and I will experience this void all over agian.

Even though, I know in all honesty this was most likely a miscarriage - in my heart I'm holding onto a fantasy that the doctor will tell me everything is fine.

Just needed to let you know you are not alone.

Erin

Miscaried and expecting again

I was 16 or 17 years old when I got pregnant. I was only 2 months pregnant when I lost the baby. Being 16 or 17 it was the most dramatic thing to go through at that age. My really close friend was also expecting when I lost my baby.

It was hard to see others expecting around me when my baby had died. I think that a part of me actually died when the baby died. It was hard and I am still not over it 4 or 5 years later. It still hurts that I was expecting and never had the baby.

I am now expecting again and am 4 months pregnant. 2 more months more than I was last time. It is really hard to get over and I probably will never get over it. I just pray every day that this baby will go to term and make it.

Just hang in there and you to will have a little bundle of joy. God Bless!!!!!!!!!!


Rosalynda

second miscarriage?

I suffered a pregnancy loss in October 2006. It's now Febraruy and I am pregnant again. I had some bleeding as I did with the last pregnancy. I went for an ultrasound today.

I am only 5 weeks and 5 days- still very early. There is no yolk sac yet. They said that it usually appears around now. They said that we just have to wait and see.

I am nervous that this pregnancy will end the same as the last one.


Michelle

I wasn't ready....

I found out I was pregnant in late August 2002. My husband and I were to be married that weekend and I had just quit my job. My husband was excited, but I was frightened since I felt we could not handle the responsibility that was about to be placed on us. My feelings about the pregnancy were mixed and I kept sensing my own mortality as I thought about what having the baby would mean.

We planned for the due date (April 2003) and told our family as my husband could not hold the news in and I did not want to rain on his happiness with my own feelings.
2 weeks passed. I had started spotting, but the ob told me this could be common and not to worry. On Friday, Sep 13, 2006, I had just come home from a friend's house where we had been discussing the baby. I had started to accept my new assignment in life and was starting to feel excitement for a baby. I went to the bathroom and noticed I was bleeding heavier. I became nervous and called my mom who told me to call the ob. I was waiting for a call back for 30 minutes and noticed I was still bleeding heavily. I called my mom back and was told to go to the ER immediately.

Once in the hospital, I was sitting in a wheelchair in the waiting room for 2 hours before I was seen. I was bleeding through my clothes and starting to cramp, I did not notice. I was numb and non-responsive to my husband who kept gripping my hand. They brought me into the exam room and once they saw the amount of blood and confirmed I was miscarrying, I burst into tears. My husband told me the next day he had never felt so helpless in his life seeing his wife in pain and panic and seeing the proof of his child slipping away.

I was about 7-8 weeks along when I miscarried. For weeks, it was all I could think about. I wondered if G-d had punished me for my thoughts on being pregnant initially. My husband tried to look at it optimistically and said to everyone who asked that this was G-d's decision and a mixed blessing. I grew to hate that expression. When April 2003 came, I felt remorse over what could have been. We finally discussed it one night and decided to try again in a few years when we were more financially secure.

In November of 2006, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and my husband dotes on her endlessly. I look at her every day and think of how blessed I was to get a second chance to have a baby. Yet, I still feel pain and loss and even guilt for the baby I wasn't meant to have.

I am looking forward and giving all my love to Sara and will one day tell her about the angel watching over us.


Jen

I want my child!

I am 34 this year and I had been married for 4 years. My hubby and I tried furiously for a baby ever since we were married. We tried all ways to get pregnant but somehow we couldn't.

We tried IVF last November and I was pregnant! Everybody rejoiced with us; and every minute and second my child was inside my womb was a blessing and joy.

I couldn't believe that the heartbeat of the baby stopped when I went for my 2nd u/s scan. It was just so disbelieving! I wept and burst into tears and wished that my dr's diagnosis were not right. I even went for a 2nd, 3rd opinion but all gynaes told me the heartbeat had stopped around 10 days ago.

I wanted so much to get pregnant again but somehow, another pregnancy cannot take away my pain and grief for this lost child. I just felt I wanted to go with my child too.

My husband and I hugged and wept together before the D&C. The drs and nurses tried to console us but somehow no words or actions can help to reduce our pain.

It has been 3 weeks but I am still grieving and depressed over the loss of the child. Even though he was with me for less than 2 months, my little darling will always live in my heart.


Melissa