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I Gave Birth to an Angel

This was my very first pregnancy. My man and I were so happy and excited. We were actually going to be parents!!!

Both of our families were so happy for us and were eagerly awaiting the birth of their first grandbaby. Both Gramma's were busy knitting outfits and/or collecting odds and ends for the little who would be soon to arrive.

July 10, 2007 was the date of my 29 week check up at the birthing center where my midwife works out of. During regular exam activities my blood pressure was taken and read at 180/120. Tthe midwife tried to find my "peanut's" heartbeat for 20 minutes, but she could not. I was taken to the nearest hospital where an ultrasound was performed and my fear was confirmed...my baby's heart had stopped beating, she was gone.

On account of my extremely high blood pressure (severe preeclamsia) I was not given the choice to let the misscarriage happen naturally. My labour was induced and 12 hours later I gave birth to my little angel, Helena Anne at 1:11 am July 11, 2007. She weighed only 2 pounds but she looked just like me.

I thought the doctors had made a mistake. This can't happen to me, I was doing everything right. I went to every appointment, I ate properly, I took my vitamins, I walked everyday, I was in the right state of mind. I was ready to be a mom. Why did this happen to me? This is so unfair! I was supposed to come home with my baby in my arms not an urn. All I could think for days was, Why? Why? Why? Was there something I could have done? Was there some sign that I should have caught? What if I had....?

There was nothing I could have done. There was nothing I should have caught or seen. It wasn't my fault or anyone elses. I will never completely know why it happened, but I think it taught me a few things and may have made my relationship with my man stronger.

I was lucky to have a very supportive partner who was there for me every single solitary second of that day and everyday since then. If not for him I would not have made it. My family has also been supportive and are looking forward to the day we tell them we are pregnant again. I hope that is soon.

Rebecca

Silas Joe in Heaven

Monday July 9th is the day that has changed my life forever. When I woke up at 4:00 am with contractions at just 36 weeks I was so excited because I thought that by the end of the day we would have a beautiful perfect baby boy to bring home.

We got to the hospital and checked in. They put us on the monitor only to find my heartbeat. We weren't so worried because he was always running from everyone that would try to find his little heartbeat. Then they called in the doctor to do an ultrasound and when he couldn't find it either. I felt like a ton of bricks fell on top of me.

Then they told me I would have to deliver Silas Joe and all I could think is why? WHY? Why would I have to go through the labor and delivery if I couldn't take him home with me?

It just didn't seem right. It was so perfect. The whole pregnancy never was sick, didn't have any problems. And when he was born on Tuesday July 10th. He weighted 4 pounds and was 18 inches long. I always told everyone he was going to be a long baby. But what broke our hearts is that he had my nose and his dad’s hands, feet and hair. And he looked so much like both of us.

The only reason they could give us is that the placenta detached it self from the uterus.
It just doesn't seem fair. But we know that God knows what he is doing and it just wasn't the right time.

We have decided to try again soon after I graduate from College.

May God Bless all!




AnnaLouise

Miscarriage-x

I was thirteen years old when I lost my virginity. I was with my boyfriend at the time for 10 months on and off.

It was about 2 months before my 14th birthday that I realized that I hadn’t had a period for 2 months so I took a test and it came back positive. I told my boyfriend and it took us a month to decide to tell our parents.

It was on a Saturday that I started bleeding really badly. I sorted myself out and went round to my boyfriend’s and we realized I must of lost the baby.

I am 15 years old now and I sometimes think that if I hadn’t of lost that baby then I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now. Also I think that a baby would have changed my whole life.

I am now with my boyfriend of 7 months and we have been speaking about our future together and we have decided that we want to have a baby together but I told him to wait until I have done my GCSE's and he respects that.

I personally think that we should do our GCSE's and maintain a good job before having a baby, because how else are you going to provide for the family you are going to be starting?


CJ-x

Angel called back to heaven

On Tuesday, July 18th 2007 I was worried because I didn't feel my baby moving inside me at all. I was 39 weeks pregnant and she is usually so active. I thought I was being just paranoid because the pregnancy has been perfect so far. But we went to the hospital anyway to get what I thought would be just a check up to settle my nerves.

When the nurses tried repeatedly to find her heartbeat, my heart just sank already thinking the worst has happened. We waited for the doctor to come to perform an ultrasound only to confirm our deepest fears. There was no longer any sign of life.

I was told to return to the hospital Wednesday morning so they can induce labor. How was I supposed to give birth to a baby girl that I knew would not come home with me? It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. All the pain of the contractions and the pushing for what? Was it a wasted effort? I would say no. Though she was not living, when I saw our little angel I knew it was all worth it. She weighs 6 lbs 13 oz and is the most beautiful girl we have ever seen. She looked perfect in every way with the most delicate hands and feet. She even has my husband's nose. He has a big nose and we joke about our baby getting his nose.

By looking at our baby Mia and the delivery, the doctors have no idea what could have gone wrong. We had almost a flawless pregnancy. An autopsy will be performed to see if they can find out how this tragedy could have had happened.

My husband and I have accepted that it was not meant to be at this time and our baby girl was called back to heaven. With much love and support from our families and friends we will survive through this.

We will not be discouraged and will try soon to have another baby. This time our baby will come home with us. :)

God bless everyone who has ever lost their baby and may they find strength from our story.




nancy

MY 2 LOSSES

I have a lovely boy who is nearly 5. When he was 3 and a half we decided we wanted another. Everything seemed to be going fine, although I was feeling a few more cramps this time. DR said tummy felt fine and not to worry.

Went for a12-week scan. Sonographer looked very concerned. Asked my hubby and me "Do you know why you're here". I knew something was wrong. She said there was a high risk of downs or a bad heart. My happiness of 20 mins earlier was shattered. I felt as if I was in a bad nightmare.

I was offered a CVS a week later; my baby's heart had stopped! I just felt numb, I decided to bring the miscarriage along, so took the tablets and went home. Saturday morning I went into the shower. Just felt a big lump near my vagina. Gushes of blood started to pour out of me. So, my hubby took me to the hospital - I had all the contractions. I delivered the fetus 2 hrs later (that was what I had felt in the bath). Did not need a D&C. At the ultrasound a few days later, I was hoping they had made a mistake (whatever)!

I had a post mortem done - it was a baby boy. My little Milo had a congenital heart defect. Its exactly a year ago I delivered him - not a day goes by without a thought/cry for him.

I also miscarried at 7 weeks recently, but hoping to try again soon. Want to be healthy and take pregnacare throughout. See if anything changes, have been to a nutritionist to help me. Hoping to give good news here in a few months.


RAMI