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The Loss

This happened to me last year, I became pregnant shortly after giving birth to my son. Everything seemed normal, but I wasn't as big as I should have been at 5 months. I woke up from a migraine headache that wouldn't stop. My son's father rushed me to the hospital, soon as i got there they took my blood pressure and it was 190/110 (hypertension), they keep running tests, do the ultrasound, tell me it's a girl (which I already knew), but she was measuring much smaller than she should have been. I was 26 weeks according to my doctors (even though I've never been regular). Well come to find out, my one and only kidney was failing due to the stress of being pregnant. I was rushed to a room with doctors hovering over me putting a catheter in my neck and telling me I would be on dialysis. That was a Tuesday, on Friday the OB/GYN came in and said they would have to take the baby to save me and that she wouldn't survive. So Sunday June 10, 2007 they took my daughter Reean Skye, she survived for 2 hours, but was so small, there was nothing they could do. She measured 23 weeks when I was actually 26 weeks. I basically got hit with a double whammy that day, the loss of my daughter, and having to be on dialysis at the age of 29. The loss is still hard and I know it will forever be as long as I'm dialysis. I was told by the doctors that I should never get pregnant again, which is another thing to deal with, considering, I want another child so bad, and knowing that I can't or shouldn't conceive makes me sad everyday. I have her urn and her big brother kisses it everyday even though he doesn't understand.

Shamar

miscarrage

i am ten weeks pregnant and i loss my baby 3 weeks ago but i just found out tuesday december 09, 2008 and it is very hurtful and painful how dow i get pregnant again? how long to wait? and when should i try again???

shametreus bell

moving forward

This is emotional for me,as it is for anyone that has experienced this. I had emergency surgery to remove an 8 week ectopic pregnancy. I was excited to find out the first month of trying we conceived. I felt something was wrong, it started with the spotting 3 days after the confirmation. I turned 31 the day after it was determined something was wrong. I went through weeks of blood tests, a dnc, special shots, a roller coaster ride of emotions. I told 2 nurses that had become my close friends I seen them as much as I seen my own image in the mirror- I was not blaming anyone or anything. I had a friend tell me after her miscarriage she refused to become pregnant it was too difficult. All I have thought from day one was I am going to move on. I cry, smile, anger crawls across my skin, I want to scream, throw things, sometimes I don't know what to feel or how to express all the emotions I feel all at once.Every woman moves on differently at different paces. I plan to hold my self together with as few fall aparts as possible.I hope to move forward heal up physically and as much as possible emotionally and try to get pregnant again. I lost my right tube but everything looks good, and so in the spring I want to try to conceive again. I just can't see myself not trying again, at least one more time. I pray for the strength to move on, I thank GOD I have all I do including my children. I am blessed. For all of you I pray the best. Everyone's story is different this was both helpful and confusing during my roller coaster ride. It was more acceptable before I found out the suspected cause of my tubal now i know it was "something that could have been prevented" at no fault of mine. Regardless I will still carry these emotions and do research and try to do the next one right. I have friends who did well during pregnancy, several that almost died and almost lost their babies, those that cant get pregnant, and those that did not give birth but raised their spouses children as their own and those that have lost out on adoption. I could write so many stories, but this is the one I am living, even though I have children I still want to try again. I hope I don't sound selfish. Maybe thats another emotion I'm feeling guilt for having children yet wanting to have more. I feel I could write forever but it would probably be alot of repeats. GOD help us all.

jessica

Missed miscarriage at 10w 4d

I am still in shock and emotional pain after my missed abortion one week ago. After some fertility treatments in the last two years we got pregnant on our 3rd IUI in September 2008. I will be 37 in 2 days and DH is 38. This was my first pregnancy. We were over the moon when we discovered I was pregnant. Everything went well, all u/s were promising. We saw the heartbeat at 9 weeks. Afterwards, that whole week I had some bad feeling that something might be wrong with my baby as all my pregnancy symptoms went away. I scheduled an urgent appointment with my gyn and was shocked when he told me the baby died just after my last u/s at 9 weeks. We scheduled D&C for the next morning. Now, after a week I physically feel ok but emotionally I am a wreck. My feelings range from sadness to anger, jealousy, feeling I am getting crazy. Being 37 I have so many questions circling in my mind...Can it happen again due to my age? How long will it take to conceive again? What are the chances that my next pregnancy results in a healthy baby?
Hope all of us who had a miscarriage will feel the joy of holding our babies soon

Sad from Macedonia

no baby after miscarriage

This is my story. I am 41 and lost a baby on 8/8/08. I have 3 daughters and 1 grandaughter and my husband has 1 daughter and 3 grandaughters. We have no children together and were not planning to start another family. My husband is 49. When I became pregnant everything changed. We were suddenly in awe with the thought of this child. Then at 11 weeks when we were vacationing in New Mexico, I began spotting. I knew after having 3 children this was not good. I miscarried the following day. It's been heart breaking. We are not planning any children and sometimes I wonder will I ever get over this loss.

Tina