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19 weeks along and lost the baby...

My husband and I lost our baby nearly one month ago. We were 19 weeks along and I was finally at a stage of enjoying the pregnancy. We were so excited, it was to be our first baby. We had been to the doctor at 17 weeks. The heartrate was perfect, my uterus was right where it was supposed to be, all was well. The weekend before our miscarriage I noticed a little bit of a brownish discharge. It wasn't significant, but I called the on-call doctor anyway. He said it was nothing to worry about unless the blood was bright red and increased. The weekend went on without any changes. I didn't feel all that great the entire weekend. After reading some stories I realized I was feeling like I was no longer pregnant. It was a disturbing feeling to be feeling negatively when I knew I needed to stay positive. Around 11pm Sunday night I started having some cramping. I thought it was gas originally, but by 1am I could barely hobble to the bathroom...I was bent over in extreme pain. I yelled for my husband. It happened all too quickly to react after that. We miscarried around 230 am. I was initially inconsolable and went in to the "I'm so sorry" mode. It took some time to relieve myself of blame. We do not know the cause of our miscarriage, our doctor tells us it was most likely a case of bad luck. The first week following the miscarriage I had the distinct feeling of emptiness. I missed being pregnant, I missed the butterflies I got when thinking about our baby and wondering what she was going to look like. There was nothing left to look forward to. Now that I've had some time to grieve I realize there was something wrong and we were not meant to have that little one. We will try again and hope for a healthy baby the next go round. There is plenty to look forward to and I cannot wait to feel that sense of completeness that I felt when I was pregnant! Keep a strong mind, stay healthy and take care of yourself first and foremost. If it's meant to be, it will happen!

Minta

Listen to your body!!

Sharon was the name I choose to name my baby girl. Two days after my 25th b-day, I woke up and felt like I had to poop. After several atempts nothing was coming out ,execpt for out of my vaginal area. I have a son which is 7 months old, and two depo shots. My husband rushed me to the ER, and I got the famous question are you pregnant, I said no way i had two depo shots. After taking a urine sample I got the news, I was pregnant and on top of that I was 21 wks. My body had given me the signs and I ignored them, due to the two shots of birth control. During the ultrasound, My baby was alive. So I began to pray for her to live. I felt that I was cheated out of her life, because I didn't know that i was pregnant. The nurse began to play her heart beat and at the same time the dr. was telling me she was to little to survive. So I became so angry and said turn the heart beat off. I just didn't understand why this was happening to me and my husband. My daughter pass away that day at noon and was delivered that day at 4:26pm. I held her little body which only weighted 12oz in my arms. That moment I will never forget for the rest of my life. The hospital dressed her in a little white dress and captured a couple of pictures. I later had my daughter cremated and will lay her to rest when I'm ready. I beat myself up everyday because if I had listen to my body maybe she would still be here. This Saturday makes two weeks and I'm coming along. My son is my everything now and I have learn to cherish every moment I have with him.

To My daughter Sharon, Mother loves you and cherished every moment we spent together. You live on though me.

Belinda

not again

i wrote her in july to tell of my miscarriage at 6 wks. one week after i found out i was pregnant again. it really helped with the grieving to think i had been given a second chance. i miscarried again 4 wks later. it put such a strain on my relationship we are barely together. i go to counselling every monday to talk about my feelings. i cant talk to my partner as he didnt want either of my babies. he cannot understand why i cant snap out of it and move on. im sure there are many of you out there completely understanding of my situation. i can put a happy face on for a while but sometimes little things set me off. things like babies on tele or pregnant women walking past. i just want a baby sooo much right now but if i did i know i would be a single parent. i try not to talk about my feelings to his so as not to start an arguement. talking to the counsellor i can get it all off my chest. we all need someone to talk to. if you are alone out there please think about talking to one. its the best thing ever. Joanne 10-10-08

joanne

ectopic

hi could any help me i have lost 2 babys by ectopics one in 2001 and in 2006. now at 28 years old does anybody no if i have a chance ever having a baby my sister as a boy and any day now she will be having a another. it makes me so mad that i cant have one. i keep asking why but its like i am one my own with out light on.

mazzy

who do i blame?

I found out i lost my baby july 31,2008 the day before my 29th b-day.I had some spotting but i didn't think anything about it because sometimes that happens -and it was very light.I called my husband and he suggested i go to the doctor-and i called the doctor's office , and they told me to come on in . the doctor did an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat,my baby was gone.all i could think was what did i do wrong, was i being punished,my heart was broken-i had carried my baby for 12 weeks and i loved this person growing inside of me more than anything-and my baby was taken from me .two months have passed and i still get real sad- i would feel alot better if i knew why,then atleast i would have some closure.and even though i still want to have another baby , i'm terrifield i will miscarry again,but i know i want be complete untill i have another baby.

charlotte