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Peaceful Sleep

My boyfriend and I were sixteen when I fell pregant, we'd been having sex for 3 months and had used condoms and everything, but the condom burst. We carried on thinking we couldnt get pregnant from one time. 12 weeks later I went for a check up at the hospital after not getting my period, this had happened before so I wasnt concerned, but my mum noticed I was eating a lot of strange things. She said one night I had the weird craving for boiled fish. The doctor said he couldnt find anything wrong with me but they decided to do an ultrasound just to make sure. when I saw the baby's little body on the scan I was overjoyed, I was relieved to know I wasnt gonna die and so excited at being a mum. I told my boyfriend and he was overjoyed too, in preparation we got an apartment just around the corner from where my parents lived, and everything was ready for our little girl. One night we were sat on the couch watching tv and feeling the baby kick when I started to get contractions. I thought that I would be ok but later that night my water broke, we went to the hospital the next morning and the doctor said I was most definately in labour and that there was nothng I could do to stop her coming. I was only 7 months into my pregnancy. When she was born I never got to hold her, she was taken into an incubator and hooked up to about 5 machines. One night when I had gone home we received a phone call saying that because she was born so early she had a hole in her heart, and that there wasn't long left, she needed a heart transplant, but there were no hearts for her. We drove to the hospital and got there to find the doctors and nurses standing over her incubator. We walked over and they told us that there was not long left and that we should have our last moments. They took her out of the incubator and we held her before the mahines started bleeping and we had to leave. The doctor came in an hour later and told us she was gone, we went in the room to see her, and she looked like she was in a peaceful sleep. I was so depressed for days afterwards and we sold all of the baby stuff. A year later we tried for another baby, and now we have twins, a boy and a girl, Lola Rose and Luke Alexander and they are 2, and i am pregnant with another baby girl. We have a happy family but the pain of our first child still lingers and I will never forget her peaceful face when she had died.

Amber-Maria

I was so sad

I was 3 weeks pregnant..Everthing was going fine..one day morning I got up and saw spotting..rushed into the hospital..I had back ache and stomach cramping jus like periods..Bleeding increased.. cloats started going..the pain was only for an hour..Dr told that it is a miscarriage..had bleeding for 3 days..I was so sad..cried alot..Dr's opinion is if the fetus growth is not proper the body will reject it and its nothing to worry if you lose it in first trimester..it can be a chromosomal deffect which will not repeat it in the next time..Im praying to God for a healthy pregnancy..I believe,God is emptying my hand to give something better..

Lima

Moving on

i've been trying to get pregnant for almost 1 year and finally my pregnancy test shows positive, me and my husband were super excited about it. However after 3 weeks when the fetus should be at around 7 weeks, I started bleeding and went for an ultrasound which showed the fetus is as small as 5 weeks but with heartbeat. Doctor said it may be slow developement or late ovulation and asked me to come back in 10 days. I was extremely depressed in these 10 days, there's continued bleeding and cramping, I went back to emergency for another 2 times within these 10 days and ultrasounds shown there's no growth and no heartbeat. I was broken down and crying non-stop, asking why me, why can't i have a healthy baby that I've pictured in my mind... My husband and my parents in law are all very supportive and comforted me by being there for me all the time. I am so touched by their love and feel like I should stop asking "Why me" but to move on...
After my check-up in 10 days, the fetus only grows from 0.04 to 0.05cm without any heartbeat, which confirmed miscarriage. I then had the missed abortion operation done the next day and now recovering from the lost.
Although I am still grieving over the loss, i really feel blessed to have a loving husband, family and friends who shows full support for me. Therefore now I try my best to move on and think positive...
I really hope that everyone will think positive if experiencing similar pregnancy loss, because greiving doesn't help the situation. All the best to you all!

Angelica

my little angel:)

me and my boyfriend had been dating for a year before i found out i got pregnant, we would always use protection but then towards the end we just started having sex unprotected i was 15 and he was 24 , when i found out i was pregnant i was happy and scared, my mom was sad but supportive and my boyfriend was happy.i moved in with him and we were so happy together and he would always make me food and take care of me, at 3 months pregnant i found out i was going to have a boy but a week later my babys heart beat stopped! me and my boyfriend were so sad but i will always have my little baby boy in my heart <3 me and my boyfriend are still living together and im going to school and he is working but were not planning on another one yet maybe later , right now i am on brithcontrol, so girls things happen for a reason but get your education first.

leslie

not nice

I found out in February that I was pregnant I was over the moon couldn't believe it. Went to my doctors had it confirmed, was given a midwife and from the get go I hated her, she made me feel childish, unsure of my body and my self. However, on monday night in march I started to bleed, it was heavy or painful so I rung my midwife and asked her opinion, she said don't worry it may be due to sexual intercourse, unfortunate I listened to her advice and did nothing, I bled constantly for 2months until I got my scan date through, I had in the mean time told my midwife I was still bleeding and she still insisted its nothing. I went for my 12week scan only to find nothing I had suffered what medics call a missed miscarriage, I still had the pregnancy sack inside of me, I was advised that within 2 weeks it would all come away as a period. 2 weeks passed no period I waited another month before seeing my gp who immediately sent me up to the hospital , they found that the sack was still growing inside of me and my body hadn't expelled the pregnancy. I was admitted into hospital and I opted for a medical management which is one tablet followed 24hrs by cervical tablets. Unfortunate for me I started to bleed heavily in hospital before any treatment. A kind nurse told me I'd still need the first tablet and maybe the cervical ones if my body hadn't finished expelling this sack. I went back to the hospital after 24hrs and was internally examined and found my cervix had closed so they assumed all had happened and all was fine. However one month later I had the most awful period I couldn't walk for the pain. The day after I started my period I was in agony as I stood in my kitchen I felt a huge what I thought was a clot come away from me. I ran to the toilet only to find this huge grey sack on my pad! So with everything all the examinations and prodding and tablets my body had dealt with it in its own way! It was the most horrific ordeal I have ever been through, I'd I hadn't have lost my baby I would nearly be due now. My bit of comfort is the thought of my 3 year old she keeps me sane. To all those women out there who have suffered any type of miscarriage I earge you to listen to your own bodies they are telling you something is not right. I think about my loss everyday, yes it wasn't to be but it doesn't make it easier to deal with. Time heals, it does gradually get better. Just don't be silent about it, don't be like me.

Letitia