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If a snowdrop doesnt bloom

Cant believe it has been 4 months. My son died on the 5th of October 2010. It was a world collapsing moment when I woke up from anesthesia and I saw my moms face. Inside I just knew what had happened. It was an emergency csection one week before Keagan's due date. I was excited, anxious to meet my son. But i just held his lifeless body. Nobody can explain the pain and emptiness. Im still trying to cope. I miss him so much. I still feel his skin against my lips. Maybe its wrond but I try to carry on, not to forget but to live with it. I still washed and sterilized his bottles that morning.

Marinda

Too soon for good bye.

I was only fourteen at the time. It was the beginning of my freshman year. I went into high school with an open mind. My boyfriend had left me, and told me to move on after 10 months. Little did I know I was pregnant. I suspected when my period was three weeks late. I took 2 dollar store test. both were negative. A few weeks later he asked me to be his girlfriend again, so I said yes, but I didnt tell him I thought I was pregnant,he would only run away. after two more weeks I had a miscarriage. I told him, and ever since we have been stronger than ever.

Marinda

Dealing

I am 22 yrs old and just recently had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. The doctor said the fetus had been dead for a couple days. I woke up wednesday 01/20/2011 to gushing water in which i though i had just urinated on myself. I sat it out for a couple hours to which i started noticing some blood and lower back pain. From there i went to the ER and was determined that the fetus had died and i had to have the baby naturally. Its so difficult for my loss since i had carried the baby for so long and always thought "that will never happen to me". It was a big wake up call. Now i more anxious than ever to become pregnant again, i just dont wanna experience the pain of what i just went through. Has anyone had a similar situation and went on to have a good pregnancy the 2nd time around? I just wanna know that it was nothing that i did and that these things just happen in life.

Dolores Retana

My Baby Born Sleeping

My Husband and I lost are beautiful baby girl she was born to us sleeping, Im not sure why this happend to us but it did and it makes me so sick and I feel so bad inside. I was 39 weeks and all my dreams was about to happen I was finallly getting my little girl but the unexspected happed she wasnt moving and I went into the hospital they did a ultrasound and found no heart beat....my life stopped and flashed before me, this is not happening, Im dreaming, this isnt real, she had a heart beat on tuesday and here its friday and no heart beat, what did I do, this is a mistake, I was in shock and disbelieve of the loss of my baby, every mothers worst nightmare came true, the lost of a child it doesnt matter if your child is 1 ,5,15, 55 or born to you sleeping our hearts all hurt the same. Since the lost of my baby I have heard it all, you can have another baby ,you just be glad that your baby wasnt 1 years old and that happend and my most favorite is Everything Happens For A Reason, well we all know it does but what the hick is the reason , because not a darn thing was wrong with my baby? People dont know what to say to you when something like this happens, so crap fall out of there mouth. Ive been going to grieve councling with my Pastor and that helps a lot, my Pastor had said to me, to GOD 1 day and 1 thousand years are the same GOD has no time frame and maybe Bailey lived her full life and her purpose of her short life was to bring you and Jeremy close together, in other words make us or break us and we are making it day by day but I 'll never forget the night my sweet Angel Bailey was born to me Sleeping!

Lori

My lost little boy

I gave birth to my first child Baby Jack 4 weeks ago yesterday. He was still born at 42 weeks.
I had a normal and healthy pregnancy and was under mdwifery led care.
My labour had started and was in early stages when I first went to hopsital but I was sent home as only 1cm dialated. My baby was fine and his little heartbeat was 'healthy' at this point. this was at 12.00am the following morning I was worried as I hadnt felt baby move so I went back up hospital and found he had died.............
Words can describe how I felt when told this, I went into shock and thought my world had ended. This was monday, my labour progressed and I gave birth on the wednesday. I will never forget seeing and holding my perfect little boy for the first time.....now i just cant get my head around the fact that Ill never hold or see him again, never watch him grow....life is so unfair.
All I can think about is him and everywhere I turn someone is pregnant or has a baby.....Its so hard.
And all I can think about is trying again and then I feel overwhelmed with guilt for feeling this way when Ive only been with out my little baby Jack for 4 weeks.
Im not trying to replace him that will never happen but I need to be pregnant again and have a little baby to complete our family.....

kelly