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R.I.P Danny Mason xxx

I was only 13 when i became pregnant, i didnt tell anyone for the first five months, no one ever noticed; just the way i wanted it. I had only just begun to get a showable bump, so i told my best mate Natalie, who at first didnt believe me, until i went to Colchester General Hospital with her and had my first scan done. There Natalie started crying; we were so close it was almost like she was pregnant as well. I also told my other mate Kelsey whom at the time was also pregnant, and she took me to her boyfriends mum, Shelby who then told me that i was stupid and what to expect, when she finished i relised that i was in dog poo; I was 13 years old, pregnant, living in a flat with my dad and i would have no money to look after my baby.
After a while I was really begining to show, it was getting more and more obvios everyday, I didnt know what to do; I was to scared to tell my dad or my mum, I only had Natalie and Kelsey and I was depending on them way to much.
I brought my first pair of clothes when I was 7 monthes pregnant after one of my scans were i found out i was carrying a baby boy. I brought a cute Creme coloured top, Denim Jeans, 2 pairs of socks, a blue jumper, a bib that says I love my mummy, a white cotton hat and a pair of creme mittens and a small blue blanket and a pack of dummies. It only cost all together £30.95. I finally told the dad; Ryan and he told me to f**k off, AND i must have been cheating on him.
I told Kelsey i was going to tell my dad, she was really pleased with me, that night i slept round Kelseys, I was thinking about only having three weeks till my due date when Ryan came round and started screaming at me, i went into the kitchen crying and he followed me, Shelby came running downstaires to see what was happening, when all off a sudden he punched me in the face, grabbed a saucepan and started hitting me with it, Kelsey called the police and a ambulance. He stopped after relising what he had done, then ran out of the door. The police turned up then the ambulance, i went to hospital but they couldn't find a heartbeat to my baby. When the police came to talk to me I refused to give a statement, they tried to tell me that it was seriose but nothing seemed as serios as me losing my baby. I had to give birth to him where i named him Danny Mason and held him for the first and last time, R.I.P Danny Mason, mummy will be with u soon, i love you xxx

Sian- Victoria

my first

well my story begins as not being able to get pregnant because of ovulatory problems. so i got on clomid 2 pills a day and glucophage i had to take this with the clomid to make the clomid work. after they got the meds right i got pregnant that month but then they started doing ultrasounds every week and found that i had a blighted ovum. my baby stopped growing as soon as it implanted but the placenta was still growing i had to get a d&c to take it out. i got it tested and they found a chromasomal problem.i was so devestated i thought it was my fault. i wanted this baby so bad but they took it at 7 weeks i think they said it was a girl. its been 4 months and i find out next month and see if i'm pregnant again i hope and pray that this one will be okay. i have hope i hope this helps someone

Kimberly

mommy to be-No More :(

Hello my name is Shelby and im only 16 this is my story,

Well i wasn't trying to get pregnant at all but me and my boyfriend at the time just didnt seem to use a condom or birth control. I found out i was pregnant Jan 28 09 the doctors said i was 6 weeks 1 day, i was soo scared, what was i gonna tell my dad, hes gonna kill me. But i finally broke down and told him the night i found out he was mad but then got over it and was excited to be a grandpa. Everything was going good started setting up appointments then i started to get excited about it. But then feburary 3 i started bleeding i was so scared and sad because i was pretty sure that i was loosing my little angel, the next day my dad took me to the hospital they rushed me back and took my blood then 30 minutes later took me for an ultrasound and the ultrasound tec was taking her pictures and all i kept thinking was is everthing ok is my baby there and she answered my question even tho se wasnt suposed to and told me she did not see a fetus my heart dropped to the floor, why did god do this to me?? they kept in the hospital for 3 days to make sure my hcg levels were dropping and i was misscarrying but then the doctor came in and told me i may be too early for them too see anything on the ultrasound and my levels grew overnight. i was soo confused she gave me hope that everything might be ok they released me as threatend abortion which means my body was threatening to misscarry so i still thought my baby was still in there and the bleeding stoped and thru the whole thing i didnt cramp at all. and i had to go back in a week to see if my levels were continueing to grow that whole week i did nothing but pray well when i went back she told me my hcg levels dropped all the way to 34 and i did have a misscarriage i cryed that whole day. why me why me i was 7 weeks 1 day when i lost my little guy, things are getting better now and now i feel everything happens for a reason i guess. i feel for everybody on here and i know how it hurts. email: shelbi_megan@yahoo.com
Always Shelby

Shelby

waiting for my angel

How can words describe the pain that you feel when your womb is emptying? I found out after years of infertility treatments, that I was finally pregnant with a pregnancy that seemed to be doing well in terms of rising hcg levels. My friends whom I had entrusted the news to, could not understand why I didn't feel excited. I knew the odds...I am 39, previously had a chemical pregnancy (one that ends before 5 weeks) and scared to death of a miscarriage.....I couldn't get excited about it until I heard the heart beating for the first time. But after the 6th week, I started to think, wow, I could be having a healthy baby and started fantasizing about what it would be like. My husband was very excited. We told family and close friends. A few days after, I experienced a little bleeding and spotting....it stopped within the hour. An early ultrasound revealed things looked normal for that time, no discernable heartbeat yet and I was scheduled to come back in a week. Exactly one week later, another incidence of bleeding, again only for an hour. I panicked and thought this was the end....I just wanted to know either way was this pregnancy going to work or not....not knowing was very difficult. That morning, the doctor looked at the ultrasound and saw my gestational sac and no development in the fetal pole. In addition, he could see that I had a large hemmorage in the centre of my sac and surrounding. It was an impending miscarriage. I have never felt so sad in all my life......how could this be happening after trying to so long to come to this? after thousands of dollars spent on treatments, after so many gruelling months of hormone injections. I have to think that perhaps there is a reason, that we are meant to have a child come to us, but just not now. A few days later, I went for a final ultrasound as I was given a choice between miscarrying naturally which could take weeks, or medication (D&C if necessary). I was not bleeding yet, but felt awful.....bloated, sick, tired. This was weighing me down. My last ultrasound revealed heavy internal blood clots in my uterus, but since my cervix was closed, I was not bleeding. After taking medication, I am now in my second day of bleeding and though physically in pain, feel lighter. I just go through feelings of pain and despair back to hope and needing to have a "plan' to start trying again. I can never know from day to day or moment to moment how I will feel. It is a constant struggle. I am unsure if I will ever have a viable pregnancy....it took a lot for us to get here and I cannot imagine going throug this again. good news is that we always wanted to adopt and we really hope that something happens for us soon. Our child, adopted or born from us, will be loved the same. I want to believe that i will feel better again. I have to believe this. I want to end this torturous fertility treatments and just surrender to the universe, to whatever will happen, but I am afraid that not trying again will be something I'll come to regret. I am giving myself time to grieve and then i think the answer will be clear to me as to what to do....

Joyce

R.I.P little Angel

Hi my name is Alexandria and i want to share my story with you as i havent really spoken about it as its so painful..

My partner and i found out i was 7 weeks pregnant in November 2008, we were so so scared as we had only just bought our first house and it needed so much work doing to it, the first two weeks after finding out were hard i was so so frightened, was i going to be a good mum did we have enough money etc...
After the first few weeks i really started to enjoy my pregnancy my tummy started to grow really really quickly, i bloomed.....

On Christmas day i was given a doppler to listen to my babys heart, it was so so strong i started crying i was so in love and attached to my unborn baby it is hard to discribe.... i was so happy ....

Just after christmas 30th December 2008 i felt differently i felt empty i used to know where my baby was sitting in my tummy as i could feel a little pressure, but this day was different i didnt feel sick even though i was never sick i just felt it... and i felt so so empty...

I went to loo and there was brown spotting, i didnt know what it was as it wasnt blood but to be on the safe side i called the early pregnancy unit and they asked me to come to hospital so they can monitor me ... i was in for a few hours when they said i will have to return tomorrow as there were no scan machines available...
We returned to the hospital and had a scan the doctor said there was a baby but he couldnt see the heart beat, i was deverstated i was told to go home for one week and come back to see if the baby is still growing as it might be to early to detect the heart, but i knew i had lost my baby because i had hurd my babys heart and i felt there was a hole in mine..

After a week i went back to the hospital and it was confirmed i had lost my baby and my body still thinks its pregnant its called a missed miscarage, i was told i would have to have my baby as i didnt want a D&C, i took my first two tablets on Wednesday the week after new year 2009 and went into labour i was in labour for 3 days it was so so so painful, i didnt have any pain medication as i wanted to feel every moment of it, on the friday i went back into hospital onto the maturnity ward to have my baby i took 4 more tablets and my contractions were every 4 minutes it was hard i cried with every contraction and i pushed my little boy into the world on the 9th January 2009 12:10 pm... i was in total shock my partner didnt know what to say nor did my mum. My mum was so supportive i love them both for being there....
After a hour i was told i could leave i didnt want to leave my baby but i had too, my baby was born sleeping on the 9th January 2009 (Angel)...

In the end my baby was cremated a day before my 24th Birthday i really do miss him and i wish i could of been given a chance...

My partner and i would love to try for a baby again but i dont what to go through the heartach i have just been through, it is still really hard and i miss him every day sweet dreams my little Angel sweet dreams

love Alexandria xxxxxxxx

Alexandria