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Molar and miscarriage

I was 20 years old when i fell pregnant with our first child my partner and i were terrified but really excited, i didnt really know how i was meant to feel and i didnt know how far gone i was. I was waiting for my dating scan appointment when one day i started bleeding i thought it was nothing and went to the doctors, they were amazing so was my boyfriend but after scans we found out we had lost our baby at 4 months into the pregnancy, after many blood tests we found out i had suffered a molar pregnancy a day later i was having a D&C. I woke up crying and i dont feel like i have stopped, our families were amazing however some made things worse and our relationship with them is finished. Our baby would have been due July 2010, what made it worse was that i lost our baby on my 21st birthday, i never look forward to my birthday any more! i was told not to get pregnant for a year in case i needed treatment i underwent many tests and luckily i didnt need chemo. When i fell pregnant for a second time in June 2010 i felt it was obviously meant to be but i didnt feel excited i was so scared and for good reason i lost the baby 3 weeks later. My boyfriend had been amazing and i know he is hurting but whenever i am on my own our babies are at the forefront of my mind and i cry constantly but i dont talk to anyone about it because i feel like i should be over it by now, we are getting married in 2011 and people keep saying forget about getting pregnant untill we are married but i cant forget about it i feel like this is the one thing i am made to do and i cant do it. I want my partners baby with the whole of my heart but what if it happens again? what if i cant get pregnant again? x i will never forget our babies Lilly and Eden Grace are always in my heart, I love you x

natasha

Devastated

On September 17, 2010 I lost my baby due to miscarriage. I am 42 years old and didn't even know I could still get pregnant. I have only one child who is 17 so finding out I was pregnant at my age was a shock. However, the instant I saw that plus on the test I wanted this baby more then anything. However, right after finding out about the baby I started having a brownish discharge. I kept reading online that it was normal and I so wanted to believe that was true. A few days later it turned to blood and I knew what was really happening. I went to the ER. They did a pelvic check, an outter and an inner ultrasound, and blood tests. I was then told I was beginning a miscarriage. The next few days I was an emotional mess. The pain of having my baby bleed out of me has been one of the worst things I've had to deal with. It's also been very painful physically. The cramps were very bad. I guess yesterday was the worse and the end of it. The bleeding seems to have stopped. However, my sadness has not. Why would God give me a baby and then take it away? Why. Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to be angry at God but I kinda am.

cindy

Little Ricky....our future lost

After having my first pregnancy with no complications, I was almost complacent when I was pregnant with my second child. Looking back, there were signs that things weren't right but at the time I wasn't concerned. My pregnancy flew by and all was fine until I woke up one day in my 38th week. The day before, I had told my husband that I felt that I had more energy and didn't feel pregnant any more.
That night he pushed on my stomach and the baby just floated to one side. He assured me that everything was fine but that we should go to the hospital the next morning....it wasn't until later that he told me that he knew the baby was "gone" but that he had wanted me to get a good night's sleep knowing that we had a lot of stress in store.
The next morning we went to the hospital and I was given an ultrasound. After a while the doctor asked me if I had ultra sounds before. After stating I had, he asked me if I remembered what the beating heart looked like. When I answered yes, he informed me that this baby's heart wasn't beating and it was then that our lives changed forever. After the initial shock we were told to leave and come back that evening for them to induce labor.
It's strange how our lives were in slow motion after that and yet everyone around us was moving as if their world had not ended.
To make a long story short......after 18 hours of induced hell, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. He was perfect in every way except that he was not breathing. Sometimes I think it might have been easier if he had had something wrong.
It's been almost 21 years now since our lives changed and although the pain fades it never goes away.
I searched for answers and found none....no help.....nothing. The nurses at the hospital couldn't even look me in the eye. There were no support groups or anyone to talk to. They gave me a book entitled "When hello means goodbye" and sent me home.
That's why I am writing today........If you need to talk, find someone who has the compassion to listen. The last thing you need to hear is "you can always have more children".
If anyone needs to talk.....Find someone who has been through this.
I"m here if you need an ear or a "shoulder to cry on"!
All my love and sympathy goes out to you........

Elise Loya

first miscarriage

I am 41 and just lost my very first baby at 7 weeks. Going thru the actual miscarriage was painful and devastating, however I have been very ok with it since.... that is until someone asks me how I'm doing. Then I cry and it hits me I just lost a baby, my emotions are all over the place and one minute I'm happy, next I'm sad, next I'm bitchy... it's hard. I feel like time is running out for me and having a baby is something I really want. I'm scared that I won't be a mummy, the one thing that I feel will complete me. Is there anyone out there my age who is still trying for their first?

Jooly

Ectopic then miscarriage

Hi Im new and feeling very down. I am 41 now and 2 years ago now I had a ectopic and my left tube was removed and finaly 3 months ago I fell pregnant and we were over the moon and then at the end of last week I had a miscarriage and the had the surgery to remove everything (EPAC) I am totaly devastaed and we are now wondering what I did wrong and will I get pregnant again and will I be able to hold on to the baby. I work with cats was this the cause of me killing my baby.

Liz