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2nd Pregnancy, 1st miscarriage

10 weeks pregnant, and just miscarried this past monday...still dealing with the loss and worry if it was something I did...had a D&C and lost a lot of blood so I feared for my life...I am doing good now (Thursday) but my husband is taking it hard...just looking for support...

Monique

2 miscarriages in a year

I know I am not the only one who has experienced pregnancy loss, but I just feel so alone and broken. I am a 33-year-old newlywed who wants nothing but to start a family. I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant after my first miscarriage, but at that the same time I thought God would not do this to me again. I started bleeding a few days after I took a home pregnancy test. I talked to my doctor and they told me my hCG level was at 50 and that I needed to repeat the test to make sure the number doubled. It didn't and I was so angry. A part of me feels like I am being punished for something I have done. I have a friend who had 2 miscarriages and then later gave birth to 2 pretty little girls so I know I am not doomed to be childless. I just want to know why this has happened and what I need to do to have a healthy child. If pregnancy and childbirth is such a natural thing, why is it so hard for some women?

J

My loss t 6.4 weeks

After many years of suffering from not getting pregnant, finally it happened on my 3rd cycle IUI, second with injectables. On the morning of my 6-week u/s the fetus was there and fine. That same day I started bleeding not much, called Dr. she advised to go the next day to check and to get bed rest. The next day went for u/s same thing except lots of blood around the placenta. She sent me home to bed rest.

Same day around noon I felt this flow of blood down my legs went to the bathroom, wiped myself and something gooey like was on the tissue the size of half a finger (sorry for being so explicit but it was how it happened). Went to ER they took the tissue for analysis and said the report wouldn't be ready for days. They did an u/s saw a shadow around lots of blood and called it a sac. Then sent me home to wait for appt with my dr. In 5 days and surprise no baby, no sac and HCG 130.

Gloryanne

Surprised

Where to begin? Well my husband and I had planned a perfect pregnancy and it was going great, I had gone to every appointment and had my first blood work done, we were so excited and an ultrasound had been planned and I so happy to be having a baby that was planned like it should be.

The day before we were to go get the results from the blood test something horrible happened, I started bleeding badly and the pain was incredible, I couldn't even walk. I went by ambulance to the hospital and they told me the pregnancy had been terminated so they sent me for an ultrasound. So we waited for an hour for the ultrasound to take place when it came to that time we were hopeful everything was fine and by the looks of the ultrasound to us it all looked fine we didn't know, then the radiologist came in and reviewed the ultrasound and it was worse than we had ever thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy and the pregnancy had to be terminated, I was 10 weeks and it was life threatening now for the doctors fear my fallopian tube might rupture.

My husband comforted me as I cried a few minutes later I was in emergency with two iv's in both arms and they were preparing me for surgery, my husband and I were terrified, it would be two hours before the operating room would be open so they sent us to a nice private room to wait until the surgery. The two hours seemed like forever then the time came I was put in a gown and was rolled into the operating room where I was put to sleep and two hours later woke in my hospital bed where my husband sat beside me I was happy to see him and for the ordeal to be over and to go back home and try for another baby.


amy

My little angel's story

I was 22 when I found out I was pregnant. I was happier than i've ever been in my whole life. I had such an easy pregnancy, not even a little morning sickness...until I was 18 weeks.

I was 18 weeks pregnant when I lost my son...I remember every detail of that day like it was happening before my eyes...It was Sunday morning 3/18/07 and I was doing laundry, I felt like this really uncomfortable pressure which was weird but it didn’t concern me until about half hour later when it kept coming and going. It wasn’t painful it was just uncomfortable and I told myself if it kept happening I was going to call my doctor...so I finished up the laundry and went home. I immediately went to lie down cause it just didn’t feel right. About 5 minutes later I decided to go to the bathroom...when I did I felt so much pressure and it felt like something was coming out...It felt like a bulge of something and when I looked down there was blood everywhere, it was so much I thought I would pass out.

I screamed for my boyfriend to help me and when he ran in I told him I was bleeding and I couldn’t stand up cause I felt like the baby was just going to fall out. I was shaking and we both cried until the ambulance came to get me. I got to the hospital around 4 and they told me because I wasn’t 20 weeks I had to wait downstairs until they can take me...so now I am sitting in the ER triage room and I’m bleeding and I'm still having this pressure (which come to find out later that they were mild contractions) and they just left me there for 4 hours before I was seen by a doctor. When the doctor came in she told me that it could be that my placenta was just low and that could be monitored.

She did an ultrasound with a really shitty u/s machine that had no sound and she told me that the baby wasn’t moving...my heart dropped...she said that the baby could just be sleeping and she couldn’t check the heartbeat with that machine so I had to wait for the tech to come...which was about 45 min later. The tech did an ultrasound and when I saw my baby’s heartbeat I just wanted to melt...my baby was alive but the tech didn’t look too reassuring. When the doctor came in her exact words were "the ultrasound is very concerning, it looks to us that you might be going into premature labor...your baby still has a heartbeat so that’s good, we can take you upstairs and try to stop it but if you’re 6 centimeters dilated like the u/s shows...I’m afraid there's nothing we can do..." I just stared into space for about a minute and I just lost it...I was going to lose my baby and everyone was just going to stand there and do nothing. So they brought me upstairs and checked my cervix and they said they could feel the sack where my baby’s feet were, he had already started to come down. They told me that I was 6 cent dilated and with a full term baby I would’ve had to be 10 but because I was 18 wks I could probably deliver him at 7-8.

They said I had 3 choices, I could either induce labor and get it over with...I could just let what was happening happen and see where it goes...or they could tilt me back to take pressure off my cervix and give me meds to stop labor. They told me that the chances of that working were slim to none because I was already 6 cent and he was already trying to come out and even if it did work I would have to stay that way for 6-7 more weeks for my baby to have a fighting chance. I closed my eyes and prayed...and I thought about my little baby’s heartbeat and decided that if he was still fighting for life then I would fight too...I thought there was no way in the world I could deliver my baby knowing he wouldn’t survive without knowing that I did everything I could to stop it. And so it was...they tilted my bed back with my feet above my head and started meds...needless to say it didn’t work, contractions kept coming stronger and faster and longer. They gave me so much morphine I threw up...and I was literally screaming in pain.

I had to push but I refused. So the pain got worse. I would not let myself deliver him I knew the outcome...so I held it in. Hours went by and I still felt like I had to push and eventually the contractions itself were pushing the baby down on its own. I had to push and I couldn’t stop it. The doctors came in and the world was blurry from there...about 30 minutes later at 3:15am on Monday 3/19/07 my little angel was born into heaven. When I pushed him out I looked over at my boyfriend who just had his head down crying and I told him it was over.

I looked down and I saw his little hand curled in a fist and his tiny head with no hair on it. I looked at the doctor and asked her if he was gone and she said yes and I asked her what it was and she said a boy with tears in her eyes. I just cried. The doctor came in but honestly I don’t remember what he said...the world was blank after that. I stayed in that room for an hour just listening to other moms pushing babies out and hearing them cry...I really just wanted to die. The next morning was hell. My family came to support me but I was a wreck. I didn’t know if I wanted to see my baby because I was afraid what to expect.

The nurse explained that he looked like a little baby...no different. I decided we wanted to baptize him and that was when we all saw him. They rolled him in and I felt like someone stabbed my heart out. He was perfect, so beautiful and small. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him but I could barely see through all the tears. Everyone was crying even the nurse and when the priest was done they took him away...along with my whole heart. I went home later that day with a little box with his little hand and feet prints, his hat and blanket, the shell they baptized him with, a few poems, and some pictures.

My life just hasn’t been the same. I found out I had an incompetent cervix and I spent the next few weeks blaming myself. I was supposed to protect him and I couldn’t...my body rejected him. I think about my son everyday and wonder why this happened to him...my little angel took my heart with him to heaven. I miss him so much but sometimes people dismiss my feelings with the impression that it doesn’t hurt that bad because I didn’t get to know him...but I did...he grew within me for almost 5 months, I know him better than anyone could know him. People will say he did not live because he was gone when he was born...but he did live...for 18 weeks inside me. People will say that it will get better...but it won’t...I’ll just learn to live with it. People will say I could have other kids...my baby was not replaceable. People will say it was God’s will...saying this will only make me want to kill myself. People will say that I will be a mom ONE DAY...but I AM A MOM...and I just need people to realize that.

Ricardo A.Baez, Jr. ~ March 19, 2007
0 pounds, 7.25 ounces
10 inches

Mommy loves you always baby boy


jen