Post your Story

Kayla

This was my fourth pregnancy. I had 2 pregnancies before that I delivered early because of Toximia and pre eclampsia,and both babies were fine. So when I got pregnant the fourth time I knew I was high risk, but I was not overly worried cause my other children were fine.This pregnancy was different from the other three. I had really bad morning sickness for the first 13 weeks, then when I was 15 weeks I woke up in a pool of blood; I freaked. I thought the worst, but when I went to the hospital, the baby had a strong heartbeat.They sent me for an ultrasound and the baby was fine, and was growing at the right rate: but they could not find the source of the bleeding.They released me from the hospital when the bleeding stopped and told me to take it easy.

Easier said then done when I have three children at home ages 8, 22 months, and 8 months. But I did my best and thought everything would be okay.Boy was I wrong. 5 weeks after the first incident, I started bleeding again. This time it would not stop.I went back to my doctor. Still the baby had a strong heartbeat and the baby was moving lots and were no signs of destress.

I had a scheduled ultrasound in three days so my doctor didn't think it was necessary to get one done then, cause so far the baby seemed fine.I wish now I made him order one cause when I went in for the ultrasound, it was the worst day of my life.There on the screen was my lifeless daughter - no heartbeat to be found. The daughter I was praying for (I have three boys) was gone before I could meet her.They told me my placenta had pulled away from the wall of my uterus and that there was nothing they could have done to prevent it.

I never knew that it was a girl until I delivered her. She was so perfect, tiny but perfect.I felt so robbed; why would God take away the daughter I have been wishing for forever. But I know she's in a better place and she will always be close to my heart, and a part of my life through memories of her. Renee Batke

Renee

Loss at 41

I got pregnant at 41 years old. I was one happy lady that I was going to have another child, aside from my daughter who is 21 years old. She was excited she was going to have a sister or brother since she is the only child.

My daughter noticed my body changing and she bought me the first response test. I was positive. I went to my doctor immediately missing my first period, 4 weeks, when they only saw a little sac, but no baby. My hcg blood level was not multiplying daily, instead it was dropping. After the second sonogram at 5 weeks, I was told that I would be miscarrying.

I did not have any bleeding, or cramps. A few days later I was bleeding and having clots the size of a walnut. Went to my doctor immediately and it was confirmed I was miscarrying. I started crying and I did not know how to tell my daughter the news.

My boyfriend and I told her, and she got very sad. My boyfriend and I are planning to have another baby after I get well, but it will be a surprise to my daughter. We will tell her later, when everything is okay.

Lourdes Ortiz

Infant angel

After having a miscarriage 2 years before I had found out that I was pregnant again, we were so excited and yet scared to death that it would happen again. Everything was going great at all the doctor's appointments.

Then at 38 weeks I had talked to my doctor about scheduling a c-section. I was going to the doctor's for a pre-surgery check up when my labor started. I was so excited. Here it was; the big day after 9 months of waiting and getting fatter. The doctor told me to go on to the hospital and he would be there shortly.

When I got there, they hooked me up to all the machines and thought that they had found the heart beat and everything. Then after about an hour they came in to let me change positions. They tried to find the heart beat again and were having trouble. The nurses called my doctor in to see if he could find it. He had trouble also so they brought in the ultra sound machine which confirmed that the baby had been dead for at least a day. It wasn't the baby's heart beat they had found earlier; it had been mine and I had gone into labor to get rid of the baby inside naturally. But that wasn't fast enough for me.

I told the doctor that I wanted to go ahead with the scheduled c-section that was to be the next day. I just couldn't face giving birth to a dead baby. So they took her at 5:00 on Feb, 23 2006. She weighed a whopping 10 pound 3 oz with a head full of hair and was just like a sleeping angel. Well that's my story. She will always and forever be her mommy and daddy's Infant Angel.

Lourdes Ortiz

Can't go to Baby Shower

My friend is having a baby. She was very vocal about being pregnant, while I was not. When I had a miscarriage, she didn't know I was pregnant. We talked a little, but she's so in babymode that I really think we just can't relate. She hasn't really "been there for me." I kind of told her that I wasn't always gonna be chipper around her - my child was due now (the same as hers). I have wrestled with going to her baby shower to be supportive, but I really just kind of don't want to go there and feel like shit all weekend. Well, Thank God I have to help my mother move that weekend...now my decision is irrelevant...I can't go - I figure if my friend is really my friend she will understand. If not, well, maybe I just won't see her again. Am I truly terrible?

Anna Villachica

Natalya

I was 39 3/4 weeks pregnant. We knew we were having a beautiful little girl. This was my first pregnancy and my husband I were very excited. Her room was ready with a closet full of dresses. I was at a regular visit to the midwife when she couldn't find a heart beat, and I was sent for a ultrasound.

I asked the ultrasound tech if there was a heartbeat and I could tell from the look on her face that the answer was no. That was it in an moment. All my hopes and dreams for my little girl were gone.

After I delivered my daughter Natalya, I held her. She was perfect - not one thing wrong. She looked as though she was sleeping. I was told later it was a placenta abruption. I felt so robbed as she was perfect! There were no signs telling me she was in trouble. I want to get pregnant again so badly, but I am scared. What if it happens again?

jina woodruff