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Missed miscarriage at 10w 4d

I am still in shock and emotional pain after my missed abortion one week ago. After some fertility treatments in the last two years we got pregnant on our 3rd IUI in September 2008. I will be 37 in 2 days and DH is 38. This was my first pregnancy. We were over the moon when we discovered I was pregnant. Everything went well, all u/s were promising. We saw the heartbeat at 9 weeks. Afterwards, that whole week I had some bad feeling that something might be wrong with my baby as all my pregnancy symptoms went away. I scheduled an urgent appointment with my gyn and was shocked when he told me the baby died just after my last u/s at 9 weeks. We scheduled D&C for the next morning. Now, after a week I physically feel ok but emotionally I am a wreck. My feelings range from sadness to anger, jealousy, feeling I am getting crazy. Being 37 I have so many questions circling in my mind...Can it happen again due to my age? How long will it take to conceive again? What are the chances that my next pregnancy results in a healthy baby?
Hope all of us who had a miscarriage will feel the joy of holding our babies soon

Sad from Macedonia

no baby after miscarriage

This is my story. I am 41 and lost a baby on 8/8/08. I have 3 daughters and 1 grandaughter and my husband has 1 daughter and 3 grandaughters. We have no children together and were not planning to start another family. My husband is 49. When I became pregnant everything changed. We were suddenly in awe with the thought of this child. Then at 11 weeks when we were vacationing in New Mexico, I began spotting. I knew after having 3 children this was not good. I miscarried the following day. It's been heart breaking. We are not planning any children and sometimes I wonder will I ever get over this loss.

Tina

Heartache

Hi There,
I am new at this chat thing, but just read your story and wanted to extend my sympathy and understanding. Three weeks ago we welcomed and said goodbye to our sweet baby boy, Nicholas.
Nicholas and I had a difficult and complicated pregnancy. At 20 weeks I was rushed to the hospital with an 8 centimeter cyst which had twisted and cut off blood supply to my ovary. I had emergency surgery to remove both the cyst and the ovary. The baby seemed to be oblivious to any of that and for that we were extremely grateful.
Ten days later I went back into the hospital with a blood leak from the surgery... my blood count was very low, but all of the monitoring of the baby seemed to be fine.
After that I had quite a few more ultrasounds to monitor everything. At one of the ultrasounds my OB told me that he thought the ventricles in the baby's head were a little enlarged, but not to worry, b/c this type of thing almost always works itself out. So he scheduled me for another ultrasound (just to be safe) about 5 weeks later. After that ultrasound I met with another OB in the hospital - that is when our world turned upside down. I really expected to walk out of there totally relieved. The doctor told me that the baby's ventricles were indeed enlarged and that she was extremely worried. I went down to a specialized hospital in Toronto (Ontario, Can) and had yet another ulatrasound... and amnio. This ultrasound showed that not only were the ventricles enlarged, but that part of the baby's brain hadn't formed at all...
It was very unlikely that our baby would survive, and if he did he would be severely handicapped. We were faced the most horrendous, heartwrenching decisions of our life.
A week and a half later (at 35 weeks gestation), on November 7, 2008, I was induced and gave birth to our sweet Angel baby, Nicholas - he was born "still"...in no pain.
He was beautiful, perfect and looked so much like his brother (we have two other boys with us here). MY husband and I were able to spend precious, precious time with him after he was born.. time we will cherish and remember in our souls forever.
We are desperately trying to find comfort in the fact that he was not in any pain and that he is with other loved ones who will love him and keep him safe.
My body, heart and soul aches for him....
Just thought I would share. THank you for taking the time to read my story.
Lea

leanna

Alise Marie

I have read through a lot of storys and have found a lot of women on here with the same problems and losses that I have had.
My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and have been together for 4 1/2 years. He already has a 4 1/2 yr old son and we decided we would wait to try for children till after we were married. I knew before hand that it would be very hard trying to get pregnant.
I am currently 28yrs old and in my past have had endometriosis and cysts on both of my ovarys and my left falopian tube. I had to have surgery to have them taken care of. There was no cancer found but there was a lot of scaring from the endometriosis. I was told it would take a while to get pregnant or possibly could never get pregnant.
Recently I had to have another surgery due to a deviated septum and endometriosis. Due to having to fix that there was more scaring. I was told to try to begin to try to get pregnant without the help of fertility drugs at first then about 4 mths later was given a perscription for clomid. Months later I found out I was pregnant just as I was begining to give up. I went to see my doctor and was told at that time that I was about 5-6 wks pregnant. I went through some nausea and a little cramping due to the stretching of the ligaments. For the next 4 mths I continued to see my doctor for my regular appointments. I got to listen to the baby's heartbeat and just couldn't believe that this little miracle was inside me. This is something I had wanted for a long time. Shortly after my last appointment with my doctor I had an appointment to have my first ultrasound to see what the sex of the baby would be. My mother, mother-in-law and 4 1/2 yr old step-son all came to the appointment. Everything was going great at first till they noticed the low amounts of fluid around the baby. My doctor was out of town so I had one of the doctors on his team examin me. Needless to say my husband and I didn't like what he had to say. At that time I was already 2cm dialated and had only 1% fluid in my uterus and was told that the baby's foot was in the beginning of the cervix. He then told us there is a very good possibility that I would loose the baby within the next few days. My husband and I were beside ourselves. My husband didn't want to give up and nor did I. I hadn't gone into labor yet and the baby's heartbeat was normal and strong. I ended up going home and was sent to complete bed rest till my doctor got back into town, which was in 2 days, then at that time we could decide what to do but that didn't seem to matter. I ended up getting sick the next day and got sent by ambulance to the hospital. I was in the hospital for 2 days when I got up to go to the bathroom Monday morning on Nov 10, 2008 I felt the baby slip. Now the baby's leg was in the cervix. I went to lay back down and just didn't want to say anything hoping I was just imagining all of this but feeling the baby move in my cervix was all real. I then told my mom that it was time, the baby had partially slipped into the cervix. The doctor and nurses rushed in to check me and said that the baby was coming out breach after about an hour the medicine began to work to start my contractions. I didn't have to push for long when the baby came out. The doctor handed the baby to me and announced to my husband and I that we had a baby girl. Her heart was still beating. I got to hold her for a few minutes when I then had to deliver the placenta. My husband then held her and we had her baptised. Our little girl was alive for 1 hour after her birth. My husband held her till her final minute of life. After all of that I still had to go in for a D&C. I was able to deliver most of the placenta but there were parts still attached. After the D&C I slept for a while. Once I woke up they brought my husband into see me. He asked what I wanted to name her and I said I wanted to name her Alise Marie. We already had names picked out for our baby but they just went good enough for her.
I decided to take a shower after I woke up. After the shower and drying off I ended up passing out. The doctor had told me that they already had blood on stand-by and was very worried with all the blood loss I had during the pregnancy and the D&C. I was then given 2 units of blood. I still to this day get very tired.
We decided to have a small family and close friend funeral for our little girl Wednesday, Nov 13, 2008. It helped to give me some closure but not complete closure. I still cry at the drop of a hat. I know it will take a while to get use to the fact that we had lost our baby but the lost feeling will always be there.
I just had a doctors appointment and was told that I, also like a lot of women, have an incompetent cervix. He said that my exam went well but I have to see him in 6 weeks to allow my uterus to heal properly then at that time he is going to take a look to make sure everything healed properly then we will begin talking about what we now want to do. As in getting pregnant again. Even though we just went through all of this my husband and I alreadyfeel as though we don't want to wait and would like to begin trying as soon as we are allowed.
I have respect and love for my little girl and I am terribly hurt by the fact that she is not going to physically be with us but she will always be in my heart, my mind and my soul. You just can't give up on yourself and be scared it is going to happen to you again. I am scared but I will never know till I try. I hope this at least helps 1 person out there.

Amber

Beautiful Bella Rose

My husband and I had a really hard time getting pregnant with our son. It took two years of trying and fertility drugs, but he was healthy and i had a very uneventful pregnancy. When he was 10 months old, i got pregnant by 'accident'. we werent trying to get pregnant but we werent using and birth control. we both assumed it was so hard the first time that it would take effort for the next one! I took a pregnant test on a whim one day and was shocked it was positive! I had an ultrasound at 5 weeks to confirm it andone at 9 weeks to see the heartbeat. I rented a heartbeat doppler and listened to the baby's heart. I started feeling the baby flutter around 14 weeks. At 19 weeks we had the regular ultrasound where they check everything and according to the technician everything was great! That was a Thursday. My midwife called me on Monday Oct 27, 08 to tell me that the baby seemed too small and their wasnt very much fluid. Two days later i saw a perinatoligist who confirmed this and i was sent 8 hours away 5 days later so see other specialists. On Monday Nov3rd they told me my baby had a 5% chance of making it to delivery and of that 5% change only a 5% chance of making it. My husband and I made the horrific decision to induce labor. We travelled home and 5 days later again my the 8 hour trip to deliver our baby. On November 10th, 2008 at 11pm I delivered our beautiful baby girl, Bella Rose weighing 235g (just over half a pound) I was 22 weeks but she was about the size of an 18 weeker, way too tiny for them to be able to save. She was gorgeous with fingernails and even though it has been 11 days i can still close my eyes and feel her being born, so tiny, just slipping out. The doctors dont know why her growth was so stunted or why she had literally no fluid around her. I am so blessed to have my 15 month old little boy but i am so so sad that his sister wont get to grow up with him. I had imagined them being best friends so close in age sharing so many experiences throughout their life. I am hopeful we will get some sort of answer after all of the autopsy results but it is so hard because I want this baby, my daughter, my beautiful Bella. I am scared now that even if I do have other babies i will never get teh chance to mother a girl. I read somewhere that it isnt just the baby you lost that you are greiving, you are greiving the baby you were expecting to have. The healthy full term baby. I am completely feeling that.
For all fo you out there , i feel your pain and at the same time i still feel alone.
Normal is now going to be a new normal and i feel like i am faking being ok so that people dont have to worry about how i am doing. I try to cry in private and hold strong for my son. one day soon i would love to be pregnant again but i am scared i wont enjoy it because i will be so worried the whole time.
May you all find some sort of peace to help you through this . Please take care of your selves
Sincerely,
Jill

Jill